It is hard to admit you are wrong. I have to focus when I do it. It is too easy to get defensive and turn the energy into finding an excuse. Those excuses can range from “They didn’t give me what I need” or “I was sick” or “someone else lied.”It is a free pass to stay as I am. To think that I am always right.
It is easy to probe deeper into the emotions of the other person.It is easy to create story time. Which one of the issues that happened before this event ties itself to criticism that is coming my way? “You didn’t like that I didn’t offer you coffee – surely this is a way to get back.” A few of these incidents over any span of time gives your brain the ample ammunition to create a narrative that stops criticism.
It is true that these things can both be true. The excuse could be valid. The person on the other side could have a major issue with you. They could be using this to grandstand politically. The other person may have lied through their teeth, after you called them day after day. You are on the firing line, sorry.
But it remains – you were wrong. Accept it. Take it as an opportunity to grow, move forward. Look from the other persons view and take some time to understand them. Even if it is a lost cause, the skills that you are building in that moment ,.taking responsibility, empathy, and mindfulness, will last a lifetime. Even in the worst case, those skills that I just mentioned will grow.
This is difficult. It is easy to succumb to your ego. “What about them? How come they get to act that way and I don’t?” Sure. They got to act out and get their way. But your life is yours, and the life they lead is up to them. You can either take things as a chance for growth or not. Growth is hard.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 