Our emotions play a role.
Yesterday I laid out the Garlic Problem, or what our options are when we smell of garlic.
There were rational options, and then there was running away as fast as we could.
You say:
- “I would never run away from the table.”
- “I would know they don’t want me gone.”
The example yesterday sounds ridiculous, but it’s a game that we play every day. Our fight or flight instincts always have a say in everything we do.
So what are we supposed to do here, ignore it?
No. I have bad news, every time you just ignore the game, you accumulate emotional debt. (emotional debt is the after effect of an emotion.) You ever watch someone scream at a printer? That’s emotional debt trying to collect.
We have to reconcile the idea of emotions matter, and they exist. We can’t ignore them, that leads to other problems. We have to connect with them, listen, and then understand that we can say “no.”
Then you can wash your hands, and get back to the conversation.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 