We don’t investigate, so we don’t learn
Life isn’t simple at first. It takes work to make it so.
Without that great work and acknowledging complexity, we create undue tension.
One of the ways we create that undue tension is when we blame people.
Blame comes with complications. The tendency to blame tries to flatten those complications into a story about a hero (you) vs. a villain (them).
That “flattening” of the story isn’t reality. You replace what happened with something that is flattering. It’s designed to spare your feelings and show the world how much you “were wronged.”
If it seems dramatic, that’s because it is.
When we straighten out the story, we lose the nuance. When the nuance drops, we consider it as “straightforward” and, all the while, nothing to see there.
It leaves an opening for you to make the mistake again. It’s a cycle.
When you blame someone, you are making sure you don’t learn. Dangerous stuff.
Blaming someone takes the recording button off. You lose yourself in the action instead of winning the lesson.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 