Author: jrlsage

Language is complex and has more layers than all of your favorite Russian novels combined.

With that said, when we talk to someone else, we’re making an ask, and if we are doing it well, it leads to the outcomes we want.

That means understanding, and no matter how we get to that understanding, it’s important that we do.

So, if that means following up, or asking (subtlety of course) what do you think I mean by that, please do it.

We talk nonsense more than we know, and hearing it back may be sobering enough to help you improve your communication skills.

When was the last time you were “reviewed.”

I use quotes because I find most reviews aren’t really reviews, they are a place where:

• People on both sides vent
• The manager exerts power
• Nothing changes

It’s a shame because it can be a magical experience.

As a manager, you have the opportunity to shift someone and their thinking to the better, to prepare someone for the next leap in their career, and as an after effect, make you look better.

As a direct report, it’s an opportunity to see how the world sees you, check in on your strengths, and gauge if the person across from you is paying attention or playing a role.

Either way, it’s a great experience that should not be missed.

Find the truth when you can.

That’s it.

Sometimes, you have to find it.

Customers don’t care about how long you’ve taken to make the product unless you’ve done the work to make them care.

Take alcohol for example – everything, from the point of purchase to the brand* story they tell, time matters.

“That whiskey has aged for 20 years, and you should care about that”

If they didn’t, you would really care about the difference between a five year and a twenty year.

You wouldn’t care about the status it transfers to you.

Think about that when you do your work.

Are you positioning it for folks to care about how you worked on it?

Yes, this takes work and time.

But remember, unless you do the work to make people care about your work, they won’t. 

*The difference between brand marketing and direct marketing is in Seth Godin’s This Is Marketing – and you should buy it if only for that chapter.

Even when it’s slow.

If you are going the right direction – motion is motion.

The key here – the right direction.

Tortoise beats hare.

Is your responsibility.

That’s it.

That’s the post.

What being thoughtful is for?

It’s a way to get the customer to think “that’s right” as they work through their issues. It’s about getting to the outcome that matters.

Now that we know what we are looking for –  let’s clear the air.

Thoughtful doesn’t mean long or slow. A thoughtful handoff can be frictionless, ruthlessly efficient. 

A mistake I see leaders make is thinking the work it takes to be empathetic as the same as being empathetic. 

And it is hard work.

Thoughtful isn’t about the output, thoughtful is about the outcome. 

As a leader – it’s part of your job to seek stability and provide as needed.

This doesn’t mean constant stability – it means provide as needed.

Do it too much and your a savior – great, you’ve made your ego happy but created a bottleneck.

Don’t do it at all and you’ve crafted a team of mercenaries- those that survive will leave when the moment suits them.

Remember – as needed.

If you are looking for permission – you’ve got it.

Go ahead.

Do it.

And if you are feeling frisky – let me know how it goes.

Today is a cold day in May in New York City.

Finally, I can justify keeping my winter clothes around.

Which I know is nonsense, but emotionally I am tied – I needed the justification and I got it. Rationally it doesn’t work, but in my head – I feel good.

How does a story about Adam’s long sleeve “game” in May matter to the person reading this? Well – ask yourself this question:

How can my current (customer, boss, VC, etc.) feel the “finally” in your favor, even when it isn’t rational?

How can you get the emotional tie-in to your work?

How do you have them close the gap?

Human beings aren’t rational.