Author: jrlsage

Wikipedia

Webcams are pretty interesting. For those who are so inclined, they offer a tool that can let people discuss things in real time, with real people. It takes away some of the mystery of the people your talking to. You can really see if they are doing what they say, read body language, and feel like your having a real conversation.

But they don’t do that most of the time, now do they.

For people like me (and I am going to assume that all of you are like me, just for a moment), that they allow for the freaky part of your mind to wander. Lets take a moment and put you in a situation.

You call your parents via Skype, and tell them about your life’s latest happenings and all that. You have a wonderful conversation, getting a good vibe, knowing that life is well. You hang up and go about your business.

or

Your in your office, and your boss calls you, and brings you into a conference that is happening down the block among the other bosses in the company. After a short meeting, you find out that you have been promoted. After giving you the short list of the benefits they transfer you to HR to let you know whats going on.

THIS NEVER HAPPENS.

1. Scenario One
   1. Your parents DON’T have a webcam – No, they don’t. This is the honest truth. This should be #1
   2. Even if they have a webcam – They don’t know what the hell a Skype or Oovoo is.
   3. You wouldn’t be bothered – Spare me, you know you don’t talk to your parents everyday, your too busy doing hoodrat stuff.
   4. Your parent’s wouldn’t be bothered – Even if they did have the stuff( which I am sure you set up, because your that awesome [ lets just go with this here]) they would spend half the time complaining because the conversation could have been solved over the phone.
   5. Your parent’s hate you/ You Hate Your Parents – Your the one that ran away from home after college because you wanted freedom. They resent you for it, believe me.
2. Scenario Two
   1. No company is EVER that efficient. – They wouldn’t even do that at Google. Your POS company really isn’t going to spring for that.
   2. Your bosses don’t think – You have seen Dilbert and The Office. It’s really like that.
   3. You don’t do any work at work – Even if this were to happen, wouldn’t you have to wipe the cheetos off your mouth and actually answer it while looking busy. Lets be real, you don’t do anything at work anyway.
   4. HR doesn’t know who you are – They are wayyyy to busy trying to meet their quotas for that next contract.
   5. You hate your job  – And it hates you. Like 1% of the world actually likes their job. The rest are lying to themselves to get out of bed in the morning

Lets look at whats really happening on these services.

1. Stupid Conversations – Really, these are simply here to get to the next point.
2. Intimate Conversations – These are here to get to the next point
3. Freaky Deaky – Self Explanatory.

Some may skip those steps, but lets be real, what were you thinking about when you bought that webcam? Was it teleconferencing, or being nashtay?

If you don’t believe me, there is always chatroulette to prove my point.

Links, if you are into that sort of thing.

• Skype launches HD webcams. (risingsunofnihon.com)
• 3 Apps to Turn Your Webcam Into An IP Phone (makeuseof.com)
• Do you ooVoo? (accmanpro.com)