Tag: 2016

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Just Plain Freedom – Freedom – August 2016

One conversation can flip how you think.

A few months ago I sat in a coffee shop.

Usually, when I go to a coffee shop, I am anti-social. It doesn’t matter if the work is writing, researching, or reading, I start working in a trance.

This day was different. Two women walked in and engaged me in conversation. It started off in pleasantries but then turned philosophical. We talked about freedom.

I realized that for all the things I’ve thought about over my life, I never gave time to think about freedom.

All I could do is listen.

I live in the United States, and freedom is something this country talks about often. Politicians say it from the stump, business leaders say it in business, and even inside of our families the word freedom works into our conversations.

After that conversation, I realized that I never investigated a word that I hear so often.

That is what this month is about, examining freedom.

This month’s theme ties into a Big Idea

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

The big idea for this part of the year is freedom. To maximize the freedom of yourself and others, one must maximize both over-communication and say “no.” After that, start stuff and test those assumptions. The result is being freer than before,

Reread candidate

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius – Controlling you is a big part of freedom, and reading the journal of one of the world’s most powerful men is a reminder that it is a journey for us all.

Assumptions

  • Freedom is about choice.
  • If we don’t forgive, then we aren’t free.
  • Freedom is scary and easy to give up.
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Ignition + Vision = If You Complete the Mission – Lessons from July 2016

Starting small delivers big value

This month began as a mystery to me. “Starting small” is a general term. I mean different things to different people. This month, I engaged with that generality and got some interesting conclusions.

First, however, is what I knew coming into the month:

When preparing those ideas, I realized there were several aspects of “small” that which we have to deal.  Things, like the small chunks of time that happen between meetings, the little mistakes that we ignore, and a little context all affect us.

These things change us in ways we don’t imagine, both for better and for worse.   Taking the time to think about and prepare for these events don’t just make us feel better, but make us smarter for doing so.

We aren’t alone, nor are we robots. We get in our way. We don’t know everything.

But, through working on what we do, and taking things one day at a time, we can do great things.  All it takes is patience, and the ability to breathe. 

From there, much is possible. Two minutes is enough to start. 

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Let’s Get it Going – Starting Small – July 2016

What is the next step?

Do you get that feeling? 

That feeling where the task, project, or dream you have feels like it’s too big?

You feel overwhelmed.

You begin to plan on getting your task done; you find that it’s bigger and bigger.

Instead of this idea you have bettering your life, you look at it as a burden.

At that point, you put it away. After a few days, months, or years you pick it up and do it again.

We all go through it. 

There is a small phrase that can short-circuit this script.

It gets you out of your head and gets something into the world.

That phrase is “start small,” and it’s the theme for this month.

This month’s theme ties into  execution

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

Over two months we discussed communicating and saying no. Those are foundations to put in place. Now it is time to get a little more reckless and start stuff.

Reread candidate

What To Do When It’s Your Turn by Seth Godin– This book is fantastic in getting someone from “zero to one.”  My hope is that we’re all doing that this month.

Assumptions

  • The more experiments are, the better.
  • Our emotions stop us from starting more than anything else.
  • A lot of experiments are free; our mind tricks us into thinking otherwise.

 

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“No” is Powerful In Many Ways – Wrap-Up For June 2016

“No” is a powerful word for discovery, too.

I started this month in one direction: “no” is a word primarily used for power dynamics.

I thought of “no” just as a way to bend one’s will.

What I realized, however, is that “no” is a word is not just a word of power. “No,” is a way to explore ourselves and the community around us.

“No” has just as much worth as a word of discovery.

“No” leads to external discovery.

Putting our ideas into the world is dangerous to our  ego because we hear the word “no.” Ideas are our babies in a sense, and because of that, sometimes we hide the idea from our community.

Except in most circumstances, our community wants us to succeed, and the only danger that could happen by putting an idea out there is hearing the word “no.”

This starts a conversation and creates pushback, a good thing. This conversation causes awareness and through that, possible alignment*. When we make those around us aware, we create a connection.

We, as human beings, crave connection. Without a connection to something, most of us can’t work at our best.

“No” leads to internal discovery:

As much as we think we always act in our best interests, we don’tIn deciding to say “yes” to ourselves all the time, we will sometimes cut off our nose to spite our face.

We have the last word when it comes to the decisions we make.The outside world is powerful in its own right, but it is worth the time to train the “kill switch.” In this case, the “kill switch” is the word “no.”

If we don’t, it leads us to some behavior that wastes energy to get “satisfaction.” These behaviors have consequences, the most important one being that they waste your time. No one keeps score.

This doesn’t mean become a robot. Our emotions matter, and are an important guide to understanding ourselves. They aren’t the end of the line. Emotions can take control,but we always have the “kill switch.”  There is always a better decision, and “no” helps us get there.

*I say possible alignment because alignment isn’t the end goal, you shouldn’t always listen to the crowd.

Top 10 Posts for the Month:

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A Word For Freedom -“No” – June 2016

I feel guilty when I use it.

But after I get over that, I recognize that I decided.

  • I decided to give more time back to the projects I feel are important.
  • I decided to spend more time with myself.
  • I decided to enjoy the company of friends.

All three of those things aren’t shameful, and yet, when we use the word “no” we end up feeling that way.

I know that boundaries are important, attention improves your ability to appreciate, and decision-making is the difference between designing your life and letting your life design you. 

“No” is a word that helps you do all three of those things. It’s why I want to explore “no”, how it works, how I feel when I use it, and tactics that help me say it more.

This month’s theme ties into abstinence

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

To say no is to abstain.  I find myself over-committing, and I realize that I can’t make the most of the opportunity I am given. This affects everything in my life, so I recognize that if I get better at saying no, then I get better at giving value to the world around me.

Reread candidate

The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness
by James Altucher – This book was tremendous the first time I read it. I am curious what I will see if a focus on the word no.

Assumptions

  • I don’t like saying “no” because of potentially failing someone.
  • I don’t like hearing “no” because I frame it as a personal attack.
  • Defaulting to “no” will increase my time to focus, which will improve my attention and decision-making.

 

 

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Over-communicating is All About You – What I Learned in May 2016

Get selfish

Over-communicating is as much about dealing with yourself as it is dealing with another person.

That is counter-intuitive, but through looking at the world with an “over-communication” first lens, I realized that my effectiveness with carrying out tactics relied on how I dealt with internal strife.

I didn’t see this as a chance to deal with self-awareness, but here I realized that all the tactics in the world won’t help you with communicating unless you listen to yourself first.

Battles with depression, fear, and impostor syndrome came with every time I confirmed a meeting, told someone something difficult, or didn’t hedge my opinion.  Prior to this month, I got away from those things because it was uncomfortable.  I saw failure before each one of those decisions.

How many times have you confirmed a meeting with someone and felt pushy?

That feeling of being “pushy” is fear. And it obstructs you from seeing that confirmation doesn’t make you seem anxious, it makes you look like a compassionate professional .

Compassionate?

Yes, it shows respect for someone’s time and respect for their character. It displays enough vulnerability to allow them to make decisions.

Even if you fail, even if what you fear comes true, it saves you time. Time is the most valuable resource we have. Our focus and our filtering decide how effective we are in the world.

“Over-communicating” is time intensive, so you need to focus and filter.

In order to make it count, you need to understand that your “selfishness” creates the space for you to communicate effectively.

If you don’t, you end up second guessing yourself and dealing with regrets, an emotion that I find far more punishing that failure. There are failures I laugh at now, I never laugh at regrets.

So deal with the fear, get vulnerable, and don’t let regret have room. You are better for it.

Biggest Lesson – Listening to yourself gives you the ability to over-communicate, and therefore become more effective to the world around you.

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Talk Your Way Through It – Over-communicating – May 2016

Do you like it when people hide?

I hate it.

I do it all the time, though.

Ahh, stop right there. I felt someone get defensive. When I say “over-communicate,” I don’t mean sharing your awful college party secret that you and your friends think is unique but isn’t. I’m talking about the second quarter projections that give you a sinking ship feeling when you go into meetings. I’m talking about losing steam on a point that you think is relevant but you aren’t sure it landed. How about that discussion that you know you should have with your significant other about how you feel, but you keep it bottled up because you don’t want to rock the boat?

All of that isn’t sparing anyone’s feelings: not sharing what’s overwhelmed your mind is hiding because we assume that the messenger gets his head lopped off.

Bu, knowing what to say, how to say it, and then delivering it in a way that everyone is clear gives you a ton of leverage and respect.

That’s what we are working on this month.

This month’s theme ties into communication

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

It’s a balance that dictates whether you are a wallflower, a leader, or an annoyance. I want to explore that this month since I feel over-communicating is an attack on fear. It’s also recognizing it’s boundaries, learning when you aren’t over-communicating, but babbling and taking over everyone’s time. I want to get to the bottom of both to see what happens.

Reread candidate

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
by Brené Brown – To do this right, I think you need to be vulnerable. There is no better book I’ve read on the subject than this one. 

Assumptions

  • Vulnerability plays a large role in if we dare to overcommunicate.
  • Learning how to use other mediums is effective here.
  • Paying a little bit more of a resource (time, money, etc.) to get “small” things done for the sake of over-communication for leverage.
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Didn’t Think About Attention While I Was Looking For Time – What I Learned In April

Intentional rest is hard.

The people who make the things that grab our attention are good at what they do.  Really good. Good to the point that you, as the owner of your time, get defensive when they, the takers of your time, go away.

I am no exception to any of that.

This month I turned off notifications, moved devices to other rooms, and left home for a few days. All of them were a panacea for my “rest” problem but I still need that connection to feel connected.

This is hard.

But, through this process, I began to step away from intellectualizing attention and step into understanding it. Attention is the partner of our time, and like it’s partner it’s always fragmented. However, unlike its partner, it is up to us to master it. Time is external (something we can’t effect) and attention is internal (something we can).

I started this month thinking it was all about time and left it understanding that there are levels to this I don’t understand yet. Attention popped up as a theme when I didn’t realize it was a big part of that.

It’s funny how focusing on not working lets me realize how much work there is to do. 

Biggest Lesson – Manage your attention and pay attention to the time.

My Correct Assumptions

  • Accountability matters.
  • Experimentation got me over a few humps.
  • Limited willpower bit me a lot, I need to create some better systems, but I learned plenty along the way.
  • Being deliberate is KEY!!!! If you don’t focus you won’t take any rest.
  • Opportunity Costs and FOMO were a doubt sandwich this month. The most effective use of time is somewhere in the middle.

My Incorrect Assumptions

  • Calendaring– My battle with calendars continues. 

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Putting It Together – Creating Rest – April 2016

Take a second and breathe.

As automatic as our breathing is, it gets much more interesting when we do it with purpose. If you’ve never done it, take a second and try it now.

Steps:

  1. Put your cell phone away
  2. Sit somewhere comfortable
  3. Think about your breath
  4. Put your cell phone away
  5. Take a deep breath.
  6. Exhale
  7. PUT YOUR CELL PHONE AWAY
  8. Do this list (1-7) again.

Do you feel that? Your mind is a little more clear, you feel a little better, and the problems that felt close now gain some distance. You have room to think.

Some of the pressure is gone, and there is a little more room to maneuver. That is the power of purposeful rest, and that is also why I am making purposeful rest the theme for April.

This month’s theme ties into the Big Idea

At the end of last year I wrote a post that resulted in me picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

I’ve gotten to the fourth theme and I am focusing on the “big idea”.

The “big idea” is a theme that ties in several others to create a meta idea, or an idea that is powerful enough to effect other ideas. Think of it as a foundation. So, the “big idea” is anything that builds on the assumptions I gained over the last few months.

Reread candidate

Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School
by John Medina – Rest and recovery are a part of a larger cycle, and it all starts with the brain. This book is a great primer on how it works.

Other candidates

Assumptions

  • Jan. Assumptions – I need to factor in accountability, calendaring, and experimentation.
  • Feb. Assumptions –  I need to factor in limited willpower.
  • Mar. Assumptions –  I need to factor in the idea of being deliberate and opportunity cost.
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Persistence Also Means Pared Down – My Takeaways From March

Focus Focus Focus!

No one has a cheat code on life. You can’t run forever, you can’t dance to every song, and you don’t get to eat everything on the menu.

This month, more than any other, I realized we  have limited juice. Although I left my job, I’ve spent my time building relationships and building stuff (which is going to result in some launches in the next month 🙂 ). On top of that, I had to handle a sinus infection and working on attaining my altMBA. It was a sincere push on my time and resources. I got a lot done, so it couldn’t have been a better month to think about persistence.

If I had one takeaway from the month, it would be this: focus is the only way your persistence matters.

I only got through this month by recognizing I had to pare down.

Persistence is a gift, and a fleeting one at that because it means something only if it’s geared to push you over the finish line. You can’t do that if you are persistent in many things. You go nowhere being persistent in ten projects at once. It’s better to be persistent at one project ten times.

We have limited juice, and our spirit will “clock out” when we go too far.

Biggest Lesson – Focus is the only way your persistence matters

My Correct Assumptions

  • Be deliberate as possible
  • Selection is far more important than will (Focus!!!)

My Incorrect Assumptions

  • I need to schedule things to make sure they get done – I have to schedule some things and not others. Sometimes I work best with reminders. Sometimes I work best with it in the calendar. Sometimes I work better with just a list.

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