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We Think The Other Side Is Dumb, But We Make Ourselves Stupid

 

The other side isn’t dumb. 

You see this in politics all the time.

If you want to see something interesting, see a vocal Donald Trump supporter say something nice about Hilary Clinton or Bernie Sanders  (and vice versa).  Watch how many times the word “stupid” gets thrown in their mentions. 

I assume most of my readers aren’t of the rabid political animal species (if you are…why?) so they find the above funny.

Wake up!

This concept strikes us in any situation where one side has more/less (authority, resources, experience) than the other side.

We lie to…

  • bosses/direct reports
  • children/parents
  • government/doctor

Some of it is to protect ourselves, but some of it is because we think “the other side is dumb.

Most of us have an internal BS alarm which we can’t vocalize, but we feel.  Both sides mentioned above make decisions based on the lie and since that BS alarm goes off both can’t tell the truth to each other so it compounds. As it compounds, opportunities vanish and we end up confused, wondering what happened.

The counter to all of this is to listen, and let people feel that they are heard. This leads to the truth, which is ugly sometimes, but the conversations always turn fruitful.

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A Short Deadline Exercise

Short deadlines can bring out the best in you, especially if paired with some accountability.

Quick exercise:

First watch this:

Then: for the next thing on your to-do list (or calendar)* move the deadline up to today, and promise to pay if you miss. 

I am always amazed at what focus  and accountability can do 🙂

Let me know what happens.

*Anything within reason. You aren’t going to ship that full-fledged marketing plan in a day… or maybe you can? 

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Procrastination and Preparation

Nothing scares me more than looking into my calendar and seeing nothing concrete.

Nothing concrete gives procrastination an in, and once its in it likes to stay around.

The worst part about my personal procrastination is that I know how it works. I start to fall into a feedback loop, a cycle that involves Reddit, Facebook, Twitter, and Yahoo News.  Once I get through the entire loop, enough time has passed for each source to load up with information.

I’ve stuck to that loop for hours, and at the end, I look around and notice I got nothing accomplished. It’s procrastination hell, and I hate it.

Procrastination is a tough nut to crack.

I’ve recognized fear as one of the components that keep my procrastination going. This month, I’ve also recognized how preparation, or lack thereof, contributes.

When I don’t prepare, I lose the accountability. There is something about putting a date or appointment in my calendar that starts me down the road of getting things done.  Adding a to-do list helps even more. Accountability partners are a reason.

Getting through my procrastination requires some planning and preparation. Until recently, I was unaware of how linked they are.

One thing is clear, making time to scope things out, helps deal with procrastination.

 

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Video Blog #2 / Procrastination

Relax, we are filming.Alright, lets start on our reading habits.

Last night, I filmed my latest video blog(#2). I discuss my reading habits, and where I think I went wrong with them. It is an easy video in my head, I talk about the material all the time. But, for some reason, it took a lot of mental work to get this one up.

I spent the entire weekend worrying about it. I needed more time to “figure” it out.

“Figure it out” usually means scared.

Procrastination flows through fear. They feed each other.  Putting things off and figuring things out makes it easier to hide.

No content no feedback, no feedback no fear, no fear no accomplishment.

Hiding is awesome for comfort, but comfort creates all sorts of traps that leaves you stranded.

When I get stranded, I end up worse for the wear.Truth of it all is, to get things done, you have to do them. Nothing more, nothing less.

What helps me cut through this fear and procrastination are a few tools.

And at the end of it all – I end up with this.

 

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Negative 3 – Multiple Accountability Partners

[bctt tweet=”Setting a master group with the big picture satisfies the need to get out-of-the-way to see.”]

Small changes can change your life.

One small change I made this year is getting an accountability partner.

I love accountability partners.

Every week, I get the opportunity  to sit in front of someone and have to deal with what I plan to do, and held accountable for the things I said I would do the week before.

It isn’t always a successful process, but  it has improved my focus a great deal. More focus brings about more free time. More free time means guilt free video games. I love guilt free marathon gaming.

The question I have today is – why do I only have one?

Instantly, I think of diminishing returns, because my mind works better with habits when I do them  everyday(i.e this blog). If I promise to do something once a week, it mean something to me.

The first thing that comes to my head was a negative thought, why is that?

I haven’t engaged in more than one solid accountability partner in a long time, and I don’t know where the diminishing returns exist until I get there( You don’t understand quick sand until you’re in it.) That doesn’t happen without trial and error.

The next fear that crossed my mind was redundancy – or the act of doing things over and over (it isn’t necessarily a bad thing for some things, like RAID storage).

It is possible to run over things or have things come back unnecessarily in different meetings.

But, there is a solution for that negative thought. It starts with the CEO of Twitter and Stripe.

Jack Dorsey is an amazing entrepreneur. He is the CEO of two huge tech companies. That isn’t an easy job. How does he do it? Themes. Each day has a theme, and he focuses on that. Its good compartmentalization, as opposed to the bad.

Third bad thought – followup. If I did it everyday, how do I catch up? Where do I take the time to work out the kinks?

That is fixable with an accountability day designed for followup. I need a “master” space, dedicated to putting these pieces together. It allows me to talk with a trusted advisor on the big-ticket items.

I cannot see the forest from the trees unless I get high enough to understand where I am.

So, lets wrap up this negative 3 analysis (this is what I am calling this from now on by the way) with a little TL;DR.

  1. Diminishing returns aren’t noticed until you get close.
  2. Avoid redundancy by setting boundaries
  3. Setting a master group with the big picture satisfies the need to get out-of-the-way to see.

Note: I am serious about the Negative 3 analysis. This is an interesting framework to work with.

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Accountability

I don’t know when to take blame. What defines as good accountability?

Should I shoulder it if I feel that things could be better, would take it hurt me in any political situation I am in, could I just be the bigger man and take all of it all the time.

How does this translate with credit – if I take all the blame, should I take all the credit? There is a part of me that thinks you should take none of the credit and all the blame, but that only seems to work for quarterbacks and movie stars. In life it always seems to tilt the other way, people who move the blame and take the credit get further along.

Is that just the politics of the places I am in? Where do they take all the blame and none of the credit and move forward? Where is the accountability in people? I am deflecting – I should take this as a start of accountability.

There are different perspectives on all of this stuff, and as I read more into it there are more questions than answers. I don’t like that too much – I would love to have some things just laid out for me to follow (even though I suck at following directions).

Accountability isn’t something that I just want to read about, I want to understand it. Figuring that out will make a lot of the journey ahead much easier.

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