My stomach hurts now.
Palms are sweating.
I want to run.
Except… Except I know this is important.
The reason my body freaks out is that “it,” whatever “it” is, is essential.
This moment, when the pressure is on, is where we, as human beings, can rationalize.
Instead of being attentive to the truth, we twist, turn, and do intellectual backflips. When we aren’t committed, excuses are born at record speed.
Then, we lose the glory.
Don’t fall for the trap.
Attack.
It seems if the world won’t let you go.
Every hour, every minute, every second there is another ding, another phone call, another project. A loud noise steals from you.
We hurt for it.
Every time we get lost in one of those distractions, we lose upwards of 20 minutes of our time to refocus. Not only that, the current thought or idea we had before is gone forever.
As Heraclitus said, “You can’t step into the same river twice.”
I assume if you’re reading this, something else is grabbing your attention, now.
If it is, I’d like you to ask yourself this question:
“Is the world going to end if I don’t look at this now?”
Remember, everything is a tradeoff, and if you don’t proactively decide, the loudest noise wins.
When have you ever been in a room and the most deafening noise was the most insightful?
My point exactly.
After you didn’t get that promotion, funding, audition, spot, etc. it feels rewarding to put people on a hit list.
These aren’t people you kill. They are people you are going to “hit” with your “success.”
“They are going to remember me because I remember today, and when I “get” it (whatever it is) I’ll make sure they know.” *queue revenge music*
Stop.
It isn’t worth remembering the people who “slighted” you for several reasons.
Here are a few:
That moment’s importance is relative to you. That other person is just doing a job. You weren’t their cup of tea today. That’s fine.
There is a limit to time and energy.
It takes energy to support, store and retrieve “memories” for the hit list.
You then have to spend time crossing people off the list, doing a “hit” when you get some success.
“I got the part, now I can’t wait to post it on Facebook. They are going to see it.”
That is draining and only causes more conflict. Every time you don’t get enough, you add to the hit list.
“Hit lists” never stop growing.
Would you rather keep up hit lists or get better?
The people who make the things that grab our attention are good at what they do. Really good. Good to the point that you, as the owner of your time, get defensive when they, the takers of your time, go away.
I am no exception to any of that.
This month I turned off notifications, moved devices to other rooms, and left home for a few days. All of them were a panacea for my “rest” problem but I still need that connection to feel connected.
This is hard.
But, through this process, I began to step away from intellectualizing attention and step into understanding it. Attention is the partner of our time, and like it’s partner it’s always fragmented. However, unlike its partner, it is up to us to master it. Time is external (something we can’t effect) and attention is internal (something we can).
I started this month thinking it was all about time and left it understanding that there are levels to this I don’t understand yet. Attention popped up as a theme when I didn’t realize it was a big part of that.
It’s funny how focusing on not working lets me realize how much work there is to do.
Your attention is one of the greatest gifts you have. Your attention is the key to the depth you get out of the time you spend.
If time was a car, your attention is the gasoline.
Your car can run on regular, and most cars do.
However, if you consider your car high-end (and you should since time is the only thing you can’t get back) it suffers when you use regular gasoline. You would get so much more out of your car(time) if you used the best fuel(attention).
Whenever you are focusing, consider each text, IM, email etc. lowering the quality of attention (gas) to your time (car).
It’s important because that understanding will take you where you want to go.
Take a second to think.
Exhale.
While you are reading this, listening to that new album, and answering texts, something important just screamed past you.
Or maybe it wasn’t? You won’t know unless you give something real attention.
I am like a dog. Whenever notifications come on my phone, I turn my head and get obsessed with everything about the phone. At first, it starts with whatever that notification is about, then check email, then Twitter, then Facebook, and and and… several minutes go by.
Each decision you make leaves a few decisions on the table. By looking at my phone, I decided not to connect with someone I am talking with, losing concentration on one of these posts, some meditation, or anything else that doesn’t have to do with my phone.
It’s why I cut off the notifications to my phone, but the break in period for me is always a rough one.
In everything we do, there is always a choice. Our emotions may lie to us, tell us we have to react to any and everything that happens to us, but that puts us in a severe disadvantage. We get as deluded as we want to, especially when it comes to this. I’ve seen people throw away million dollar opportunities to get loyal to things they didn’t need to especially if it’s a reaction.
We lose ourselves, in the motion or the energy of change, that we end up losing ourselves in reaction.
We aren’t robots. Choice isn’t something that just happens, we all have that ability, we just need to cultivate it.
A great way to explore is with your cell phone. Try to turn it off for an hour. Leave it in a dresser, and just walk away. When this gets normal, try it for two, then three, then a day etc.
This builds up the proactive tolerance, avoiding the problems that come with looking for something to happen. Its hard at first, but step away long enough, you eventually find life much more satisfying, just because you got proactive with your attention.
It’s a small start, but that’s the best way to do it.
Proactive example:
A great example is Floyd Mayweather in the boxing ring.While everyone is trying to go for the knockout blow and reacting, Floyd is rolling his shoulders and jabbing. He creates this tension, and gets the fight to come to him.
Why do we give everything attention except for time?
Money pays bills, attention makes us feel alive, and love gives us strength. All these things we go out and chase on a daily basis, and many days seem lost unless we succeed in making one of those things.
Time, however, is the one thing we can’t recover, can’t create, and can’t win.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 