Tag: august

Categories
Blog Post

You Take You With You – Lessons About Self Destructive Talk From August 2017

Self Destructive Talk is real

I’ve heard the saying “everywhere you go you take ‘you’ with you.”

The truth in that saying is pretty clear.

It is interesting that I came into this month in a depressive funk, even before I knew what the theme was. It speaks to the nature of how self-talk can come out of nowhere and take over our decision-making if we let it.

There are a ton of ways it can do that, like having us make arguments in our heads which sap our energy with no payoff.

It can tell you to “vent” and strengthen those neural pathways to make remembering our pain easier.

Even worse, we can pretend it doesn’t exist, which charges the feelings until they explode.

So what do we do?

  • The first thing is to face the fear. Take time to investigate the where that self-destructive talk lives.
  • We then seek allies, like our friends and family, to show our fears and how it affects us. Note, this is different from venting which focuses on the actions of others. This activity focuses on ourselves and our fears.
  • Then, keeping a regular self-rejuvenating practice, like meditation or therapy to help regulate.

Finally, understand that the talk is a part of us.  It is a warning signal that things are changing.

Don’t run away from it.

Books – My Goodreads Account

Newsletter – Subscribe Here

Did you know I send a newsletter out every Sunday? It is more personal than the blog, combining my personal stories with an overarching theme.  I also throw in some great links that I’ve found on the internet.

Life As Usual Video Blog

https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js
function onYtEvent(payload) {
if (payload.eventType == ‘subscribe’) {
// Add code to handle subscribe event.
} else if (payload.eventType == ‘unsubscribe’) {
// Add code to handle unsubscribe event.
}
if (window.console) { // for debugging only
window.console.log(‘YT event: ‘, payload);
}
}

I created a video blog that delivers these lessons in a visual medium. Curious? Subscribe above and get a notification as soon as they come out.

 

Categories
Blog Post

Freedom is… Lessons from August

Freedom Is...

Complicated

So, I think back to the coffee shop where someone asked me “What is freedom?”

I didn’t have an answer then. I don’t have one now. Freedom in both complicated in expression and concept.

However, I spent a month thinking about it.

A few lessons:

Freedom requires clarity.

It requires commitment.

You can’t run to shiny new objects, yet you have to understand yourself.

You can’t find perfection.

Freedom means taking on problems in different ways.

You have to take a step back and understand the whole problem.

While all of this is happening, you have to keep your vices in check by listening to them.

In short, it’s pretty complicated.This month gave me better questions. Questions lead to greater understanding, which leads to empathy. There is a lot of freedom just in that.

Books – My Goodreads Account

Newsletter – Subscribe Here

Categories
Blog Post

Just Plain Freedom – Freedom – August 2016

One conversation can flip how you think.

A few months ago I sat in a coffee shop.

Usually, when I go to a coffee shop, I am anti-social. It doesn’t matter if the work is writing, researching, or reading, I start working in a trance.

This day was different. Two women walked in and engaged me in conversation. It started off in pleasantries but then turned philosophical. We talked about freedom.

I realized that for all the things I’ve thought about over my life, I never gave time to think about freedom.

All I could do is listen.

I live in the United States, and freedom is something this country talks about often. Politicians say it from the stump, business leaders say it in business, and even inside of our families the word freedom works into our conversations.

After that conversation, I realized that I never investigated a word that I hear so often.

That is what this month is about, examining freedom.

This month’s theme ties into a Big Idea

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

The big idea for this part of the year is freedom. To maximize the freedom of yourself and others, one must maximize both over-communication and say “no.” After that, start stuff and test those assumptions. The result is being freer than before,

Reread candidate

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius – Controlling you is a big part of freedom, and reading the journal of one of the world’s most powerful men is a reminder that it is a journey for us all.

Assumptions

  • Freedom is about choice.
  • If we don’t forgive, then we aren’t free.
  • Freedom is scary and easy to give up.
Categories
Blog Post

Keep Kicking – Lessons From Habits in August 2015

[bctt tweet=”Building on habits, instead of focusing on a huge singular change, is a gateway to a more productive life.”]

At the beginning of 2015,  I recognized that blindly calling for self-improvement didn’t give me the direction I looked for.I made a decision to give every month a theme.

For August I decided use the theme of habits. I believed that working on my habits provided some insight into my behavior.

As we get to the end of the month, I learned plenty about myself through this exercise. This month was heavy on failure, since each day there were multiple stress points. Paying attention to the failure sucked, but through that failure I learned that I have the strength to move on.

Habit is incredibly powerful. When they stick, habit creates action, for better or worse. If we were to call our consciousness a car, habits would be the starter. It is possible to make the engine go without it, but it becomes much more difficult.

This month led to a lot of growth. Building on habits, instead of focusing on a huge singular change, is a gateway to a more productive life.

Wins:

  • Failure – I failed a lot this month.
    • Lesson: Failure doesn’t have to define your day. 
  • Action – This connects with failure above. If I get up and start doing things, I feel a lot better and it starts to stack
    • Lesson: Mood follows action, not the other way around.
  • Operation – I learned how to build habits and building methods to make them happen a lot better. Physical reminders were a big win.
    • Lesson: Reminders help, don’t be afraid to use them. 

[bctt tweet=”Failure doesn’t have to define your day. “]

Losses:

  • Management – I didn’t keep track of anything on paper this month. That was one of the biggest disappointments. I noticed the days I didn’t a lot more, but I don’t have anything on paper to make this happen. I stated it in the intro and just went for it, I didn’t make it into a solid done.
    • Lesson: As soon as I write a goal, get the homework and schedule it that day.
  • Consistency – I didn’t stay consistent in a few habits, and sometimes they were stumbles (5 minute journal and meditation) and some times they were collapses ( Ordering out).
    • Lesson: It’s ok to fall, but try not to make it a habit (hahahahahahaha). Don’t miss two days in a row. 

Important Posts:

Books:

Habits:

  • Sleep Before Midnight
  • Cook Dinner
  • Cook Breakfast
  • Vegetables in the Morning
  • Social Media on the blog
  • Pitching my Writing

Closing The Loop

  • Making a list of top of mind stuff every week

Emotional Intelligence

  • n/a

Network

  • Reconnecting with Harlem Tech Scene

Organization

  • Got rid of old boxes

[bctt tweet=” If we were to call our consciousness a car, habits would be the starter.”]

I learned a lot when it comes to habits. Tracking them and being consistent are things I need to work on. The biggest lesson for me though, was that failure doesn’t define your day. Each moment comes with a choice, and paying attention to habit this month made that clear to me.

I also just noted, I should keep track of every theme with each months outro. Would make this a lot easier, and make my accountability stronger. Ha, each post is something I can learn from :-). 

Categories
Blog Post

Errors Happen

This month I have made a bunch of errors.

  • My contest ended late
  • I slipped up on not drinking (3 times)
  • Ordered out (5 times)
  • Missed journaling (5 times)
  • Missed meditation (7 times)

There are errors in your life. The key isn’t to focus on the failure, but what changes you can make when it happens

  • Next Contest are marked on my calendar
  • Not letting someone buy me a drink, explaining I don’t need to drink
  • Locking our seamless unless necessary – a food list on my PC
  • Keeping my journal by my bed and my books
  • Linking meditation with another habit.

 

It isn’t how you fall, but how you get back up.

Categories
Blog Post

My Slide Into August Consists of Habits

I was completely ignorant to the power of habit, and spent my life internalizing the idea that willpower was the key to anything I did. The idea of habit seemed ridiculous, something reserved for the army. I thought that anyone with a creative spirit is held back by thinking of habits. I had that perception dashed when I read the book “The Power of Habit”, written by Charles Duhigg.  My perception changed, and I saw habit not as an inhibitor, but as a powerful tool that allowed me to get in front of my creativity and make the most of it.

That was in 2013, and since then, I have made it a point to keep some part of my mind on habits. Like all exciting things, I started strong, creating a string of habits. Many things have changed over the year, as I don’t think I carried any of those habits on till today. Some have gone away and come back stronger than ever (this blog), and some have disappeared completely (I used to do push ups everyday – that died). With that said, I haven’t given the idea of habits a serious look since 2013,  and I think it is the perfect time to make it a theme for the month of August.

 

What I Want To Explore: 

  • Checklists – I love the idea of checklists, and I made it a habit to put them all over my house (I have checklists in the bathroom and in the bedroom, along with my office). I haven’t made it a point, however, to investigate them fully, and I find myself wondering off the path sometimes. This topic will be fun to explore because since my checklists are everywhere, making myself a checklist maverick should improve all portions of my life.
  • Management – I hardly ever come up with a process of adding and subtracting habits in my life. They seem to float in and out on a whim. I’ve experimented with the idea of a “habit day” before, but that didn’t stick. I would also like to take a look on how I deal with daily vs weekly habits, the alerts I use to remind me, and the time I deal with habits (Is it better to read during the day or at night?)
  • Consistency – I don’t track my habits. What you don’t track, you can’t manage. I always find myself in the trap of patting myself on the back for doing a habit 4 out of 7 days, or remembering that I did the habit often when I only did it once of twice (I “remembered” writing in my 5 Minute Journal one week 5 times and I only did it two). I will be investigating tools that can help me with this.

Those are the big three topics that I want to hit, but with everything in life, things change with the minute. If you think you can help in any way, please reach out with suggestions through Twitter @TheHonorableAT or by engaging in the comment section below.

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started