Tag: blame

When the unexpected happens, we scramble for a story. The human brain is complex, but one of the things that it is good at is creating story. Not only is it good at creation, it also deems story creation important. Some have even pointed out that it is the last part of your brain to go. (Cue the light at the end of the tunnel people seem to constantly remember…especially after the steam engine.) I recognize how fast story creation happens, and it scares me. I often feel foolish when I find out just how wrong I usually am.

So, when we create a story, what do we do? Our brain find the easiest path. Think about how you go to work, or how you eat your lunch, or how you get any habit to stick? All these things, more than likely, came from the easiest path. I can’t get anything to stick unless I make it easy. I often have these grandiose images of being an ultra marathon athlete, but unless I make it as easy as possible, I won’t run around the block.

So what is the easiest path for a story to go? For me, I often find blaming someone rather easy. It allows me to kick off the story making process. If there is a villain, it is a lot easier to make myself the hero. I recognize it now as a matter of ego and convenience. When you blame, it allows the shifting of responsibility to a non-factor. “I couldn’t possibly be wrong, if (insert villain here) didn’t do (blame shifting thing) I would be able to (insert heroic thing here).” It leads to anguish because I have noticed shifting responsibility leaves room for doubt. Doubt sucks. Understanding is better.

So am I saying that villains don’t exist? Not at all. That person could impede your progress. That person could be a villain. That person could be responsible for everything that happens bad to you. Still, instead of playing the blame game, I think learning to understand would be helpful. Even if the person is absolute evil, it will become easier to forgive. To forgive is to move on.

Note: When it comes to anguish, the only person that suffers is you.