A sign of being on the right track is a huge ping of self doubt.
I remember recently, sitting at the computer, literally cursing at myself with each email I wrote. But before we get to that, lets talk about the price of being yourself, and what that delivers to you as a human being.
How bold is it to be yourself?
That pang of self doubt
It’s a scary thing. The moment you decide to break away from the comfortable, the things as they are, is the moment that guy starts making trouble for you.
The reason it is so bothersome is because since our youngest years, we’ve learned to not stand out, but to conform. We’ve learned horrible things like “be realistic” instead of listening to that internal rhythm. We follow the group, not because of what we want to do, but because it’s safe.
Make no mistake, it takes a lot of confidence to walk into a place as yourself. It also takes a lot of energy to tell other people who you are. Not the representative (the person sterilized by society, the one that fits in) but you, the person you are.
Cursing over emails
I found myself internally struggling. I sent a bunch of emails out, and with each one, I cursed out of frustration. What kind of email was I sending? One that said “Happy New Year”.
That wasn’t the part of the email that scared me. The part that scared me were the links to this blog that I sent. The biggest one was the end of 2015 post, one of my most personal. I bared a lot with that post, and it wasn’t a lot of great news in there.
If you wanted to hate me, I gave up some ammo.
The benefit
By being vulnerable, I found a lot of people felt safe enough to do the same in return. I appreciate their boldness. Through being myself, I gained more connection, which I am learning, along with time, are the greatest currencies we have.
Now that I don’t have a regular 9-5, I don’t have a boss. What I do have, is that pang of self-doubt. I know if I am running towards it, and conquering it, there is a chance that I build a connection.
That connection always beats the cost.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 