I woke up a little late this morning. It was odd, because I woke up without an alarm clock at 6:30 AM.I felt somewhat refreshed, but, as my lizard brain will sometimes do, see it wasn’t time to get up yet and went back to sleep.
I ended up getting up at 7:45. Pretty much 45 minutes after my alarm went off. I was not that much more refreshed, but another hour was subtracted from my day, and I was no better for it.
Even so this late was acceptable. Earlier this could have been 8:45 and I would be where I am now an hour later, explaining to my boss what happened, instead of getting here at 10 on the dot, with some morning stuff accomplished. I got a chance to get my video to start to upload on youtube, connected my zune to my PC, and got a driver app downloading so maybe i can fix my laptop.
Even with the lateness, I am starting to see how valuable my mornings can be, if I just build off of them. In the future, I hope to build off this. I would like to train my ind to think of the morning as something that is a bit more conductive to creative work, as opposed to time to just get ready for work and wallow in it.
I appreciate the forward motion this morning gave me. Even when I faced some setbacks, like my eye rejecting my contact. I am starting to get the feeling that there is another contact. Simply, I am becoming less afraid to throw something away when there is an alternative.
I like this mindset. It is me being a bit more mindful of what I am doing, and realizing that some of this stuff should be thrown away. I don’t see it as waste when abandoning something will give me time to do something more productive.
I like forward motion. I feel like I am establishing some serious habits that will translate themselves into something late rin life. I plan on working alone, and having the creative time to make things happen is a big part of that making me not have to go back to the 9-5 world, when it is that time to go.
Establishing connection is interesting and scary. Yesterday I talked to two people I haven’t spoken to before over facebook, for no other reason than to establish connection. I really hate the pit of the stomach feeling I get when I do this though.
It is there becuase I think no one wants to speak to me. I don’t know when this developed, but I do know that it has hampered my life. I automatically assume the worst in every conversation, and when I do talk, I always assume that i am going to say something that puts the other person ill at ease, and ruin friendships with my words.
It sounds completely rediculous, because it is. It always strikes me when people do want to speak to me. Phil says I am a good conversationalist and I can network really well, and I see it completely the opposite. I feel like I am not built to sit there and do small talk. When I look at him do it, he seems to really be able to just discuss things with candor to the next person.
He may do it to just random people on the street, but he is good at it. Me, I am scared to even talk to people at meetups and cocktail parties unless I had a few to “loosen me up”.
It s why I reached out to someone on FB, a comic I met around here from Boston, just to open a bridge of communication. I want to talk to someone I haven’t talked to in forever, at least on e person a day, to build some relationships with the people I have on Facebook. I am hoping from there I can do it in the real world too.
I need to be able to pitch, talk, and discuss a lot more efficiently if I want to make myself a brand.
I got my comedy tape from Caroline’s back last night. It was from the second set of my Friday night there in January. It felt pretty bad when I did it, and I expected to see the results of it when I got a look at it. What I saw really wasn’t half bad.
I stood and took the punches. One of the things that Phil used to tell me, along with Zo, was that I bail on things. When I looked at the tape there, I stuck on to everything I had. Regardless if anything landed or not, I went right to the next joke.
I looked more like a professional, and even if the jokes weren’t hitting as hard as they should,I looked like I belonged up there. I didn’t appear to be an impostor, but an actual comedian. Body language means a lot, and I had the body language of a confident man, even if I felt like I wasn’t doing so great.
A few things I got from that video though.Jokes need tightening up. I lingered a lot in my jokes. There is some air there that needs to be cleaned up. MY stuff lately has been good at removing that air, and dropping laughs in rather quickly. Ill see when I do a set this weekend and tape.
I think I am one good set away from having something that is worth submitting to any festival. I just need it to be at a comedy club and I will be golden. There is growth there.
Frankie is coming back in a week or so. It will be good to see him. Haven’t been around him in a few years. It is good to see he has graduated and it is good to see him employed. Good to have an old friend back.
do: wrap up, push ups, 3 things, CPAP
don’t: Thank You, 16/8, water, vegetable juice, meditation, to-do
From the desk of Adam Thomas 