contemplation – From the desk of Adam Thomas

On the train

I find silence on the train.

That silence scares me.

Why?

Those silent moments are often most tough.

Its where you recognize those fears, the things that eat you alive. Remember that time you said the wrong thing or didn’t show up for someone? Sometimes there is no apology satisfies that need for closure (or it feels that way).

I’m scared of screwing up, so I often want to blend into the silence. If I am a fly on the wall, I can’t disturb the peace that is around me.

Sometimes this leads to a lesson, one that I can take with me to my destination. Other times, it means an attitude, one I use to hide my contempt for myself. A hard shell for a soft man.

All because of silence.

Religion is dangerous.

Religion cancels ideas, religion closes us off, and it removes understanding. Religion makes the world black and white where there are serious shades of grey. It leads us to confirmation bias which further distorts our thinking. I found myself on the train this morning hearing something someone said on a podcast about minimalism and it lead my brain to create a profile. From one sentence, I knew his political affiliations, family life, and thoughts on all sorts of subjects that he never talked about. I just knew what he thought, all off of a single sentence. I began to put my thoughts of him on his actions, and if it continued, I would bet that anything he did would be tied to that sentence.

I took some time to meditate later and after getting my mind to settle, I saw how ridiculous it was. I was subscribing to “minimalism” religion, and I saw any attack on it as an attack on me. It was unfair to that person,podcast, and even myself to take that narrow of a view based on just one sentence. One of the most embarrassing things for me to find out is that I could have understood something, but didn’t, because it didn’t fit my world view, and I found myself shutting down, missing valuable information.

Just like that, I was off to the races. Religion is a deceptive monster. Like resistance, it strikes at the level of thinking and pushes us slightly askew. The longer that we accept that religion, the more it pushes us toward “protection” of its ideas.

Imagine going down a road, following a map. When something against the religion I subscribe to arrives, I push myself a few degrees to the left to avoid it. I get off course. If I remove it, and then rectify myself, I can continue my journey as normal without too much delay. But, as I go down that road, if I do not course correct, I end up in a completely different place. While it would only be a few degrees, the longer I walk the longer it will take time for me to get back to where I planned due to ever step being that much further off. It becomes a lot harder to get back to where I desiredand a lot easier to double down, throw caution to the wind and be vulnerable. You’re led to after the map of someone else and remove responsibility.

No responsibility means no control.

Note: When I say religion, I don’t mean Christianity or Islam.I am considering religion on the level of ideas.