Listening is critical to get to feel.
Not just to hear what the other person is saying audibly, but how that other person is feeling. Learning how to deal with Emotional Intelligence isn’t just a nice to have, but a need if you really want to get to know people. It builds trust in relationships, and that is critical when you want things to go deeper than the surface. You feel how you feel, and conversation bares it out.
The other side of that honesty is that emotions now feel like they have a better place to release.
I think most of us get confused about emotions because when we see them from other people, it comes form a place of exhaustion. The great thing about being in a place of trust is that those emotions are coming out to let you, the listener, get a 360 view of how the other person feels.
Don’t make this mistake.
No matter how you hear it – it is not your place to decide if its right or wrong. The minute you cross that line, you lose the trust and now superficiality comes right back. The key is not to get defensive, even if it’s about you, and just listen.
The last thing you want is people closing up. If that happens, that energy sticks around, and it just becomes resentment.
Recognize it takes courage.
Know that the idea of showing how you feel is scary, and ultimately leaves you vulnerable. The best move, as someone listening, is to just sit and understand. The emotions at play let you in on a deeper truth, and ultimately give way to a better relationship.
Judging people might feel good in the moment, but ultimately, the things you feel for others end up landing back on you. This holds true even more if this is a relationship, business or personal, that is important. It’s not up to you to decide if its right or wrong. It’s just up to you to listen.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 