Tag: default

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Listen

Resist the urge to talk, just listen

Sometimes, you have the perfect thing to say when someone else is talking.

You just know it’s going to save the world, solve that problem, generate revenue or build on a process.

Stop.

Seriously, stop.

While some us have the tendency to ramble, defaulting to listening has a ton of benefit:

  • You’ll let someone flesh out an idea
  • Your question or thought answered before you ask it
  • The other person’s respect doesn’t feel trampled on

As a result, the culture that you’re in becomes better. This result compounds.

Just listen.

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The Primary Incentive Guides Us

We live from default based on our incentive

The last two days, we’ve defined incentive and had an exercise to list them.

Today, we are focusing on the primary incentive.

Human beings are creatures of habit and live on our defaults.

We live by default because our brains are structured to maintain energy. Using intent is energy expensive.

How do you figure out your major incentive?

Your major incentive could well be on your exercise’s list. Try to think back to a pressure filled situation and think about which one of those things you tended to.

Why is this all important?

As a result of this, our primary incentive creates the foundation for how we approach our work.

A quick example: If someone says wealth is the primary incentive – then when push comes to shove, they will focus most on the wealth.  When the pressure is on, that person is going to decide based on his wealth, for better (focusing on bringing in clients) or for worse(fudging numbers to make it better).

If you are self-aware, then you can lead yourself (and by extent, the team around you) to better decisions by creating systems that protect against the “worse.”

Tomorrow, we are going to end this mini-series with a mistake people make about incentives.

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Failure – Feedback, Fear, or False

Failure isn’t a choice.

Any time you decide something, whether it’s inside or outside your comfort zone, circle of competence, or philosophy there is a chance to choose failure. Make enough decisions and it’s a certainty. There is no getting out of it either. No one stays undefeated.

What is a choice is how you frame it.

  • Failure as feedback – If failure is feedback then you understand the failure as a growth point. The world has told you something and it’s time to go back into the shed, figure out the lessons, and ship something else. It doesn’t affect the who, just the how.
  • Failure as fear – If failure is fear then you understand failure as a personal hit. The world has told you something about you, and it’s time to go back into the shed and work on yourself until it makes sense.  It doesn’t affect the how, just the who.
  • Failure as “false”– If failure is false then you understand failure  as never existing. The world has told you something and you aren’t listening. It doesn’t affect anything.

The best default is the first. But there are times where the other two have use.

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The Default

We accept the default

It’s human nature. We normally accept whatever is in front of us. Our brains can’t do the math, we work with too many stimuli per second to figure out every single decision. Our brains take the path of least resistance because we are on the lookout for things that could harm us.

This isn’t a bad thing, nor should you think of it as such. If we considered every option we would be paralyzed by choice. If you thought going through your closet in the morning on a stressful day is bad, considering every decision that presents itself to us is that feeling times 1000x.

So, we take the default, and we should, for most things.  The hard part of life is determining of what defaults you don’t want to take and doing the hard work up from in changing them.

Don't accept the defaults you don't want

 

 

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Changing the Default

I am a natural skeptic, especially when it comes to change. I push away anything that has to do with me changing my routine or how I think. It hurts to admit I am wrong. I lean on confirmation bias as much as possible. In short, I am human. If you are reading this, I assume you are human too. If not, this is pretty awesome and confirms my and most Americans suspicion that  English is universal, and we can dump all those other language programs immediately.

I am a slave to default. I don’t want to fight that. To do something different cost cognitive energy that I do not like to give up. In fact, flipping that switch cost so much I would rather spend energy on excuses than real action. I hate that, but that is just how it goes, and there is no changing that.  I hate that I have to live that way, but again, since I am human, I cannot change that. To fight that is a waste of time, and time is something I can ill afford to waste.

So, why write hose two paragraphs? Well, to point out that although I am a slave to the default, and I don’t like change, the only thing worth changing is the default.

Everything I do comes from a decision that checks the default. It is as if I have a huge log book that counts those defaults and references them with each decision I make. They are not based on an individual action either, the spread out to cover multiple fronts.

It is tough to look at this book because to reference it takes time.  It requires me to take a hard look at what I am doing, and find patterns. It isn’t laid out to you in “plain English” either. It is in a language that you understand, but it takes time to decipher. It is almost as if you are reading french when you understand Spanish. You will get the gist of what it is, but it takes time to really understand it.

I think meditation can help you understand this language a bit better. I plan on take it on in earnest this week, and each week afterwards. To understand brings awareness, and awareness allows change. If you can change the defaults, then anything is possible.

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