What happens when we have nothing to say?
What happens?
Does the world stop?
Do we stop?
Do we cease to exist?
I’ll stop the dramatics here because I think we always have something to say. We all have a point of view. So that isn’t the problem. We always have something to say, so there is no need to worry, the world won’t stop any time soon. Asking if you have nothing to say is the wrong question.
The right questions are:
Is it the right time to say this?
Timing matters. Don’t bring up your hangover story at the conference lunch, that is more of a cocktail hour conversation (and after a few pops there at that). Timing brings along a wealth of context with what we say. Nothing exists in a vacuum, especially our words. This is the question you ponder before you begin a dialogue, and one you question often. The answer lies in listening to the conversation and putting in your fair share. Someone who has contributed a lot to the conversation can have misstep or two. It is counter-intuitive, but by adding value to a conversation, you can trip up a time or two without being exiled.
I’ve worked on listening, and it has improved my timing, stumbles and all.
Do I have the right to say this?
Fear and ego are the gatekeepers here since usually this is our brains doing mental gymnastics. If you feel uncomfortable in any way during the conversation, this internal question comes up often.
This one is a lot more tricky than the first question because there are a ton more variables. The timing question is about a conversation already at hand, while this question asks if you have any right to join or stay.
My favorite way of fighting this question is to have something valuable already at hand.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 