A sign of being on the right track is a huge ping of self doubt.
I remember recently, sitting at the computer, literally cursing at myself with each email I wrote. But before we get to that, lets talk about the price of being yourself, and what that delivers to you as a human being.
How bold is it to be yourself?
That pang of self doubt
It’s a scary thing. The moment you decide to break away from the comfortable, the things as they are, is the moment that guy starts making trouble for you.
The reason it is so bothersome is because since our youngest years, we’ve learned to not stand out, but to conform. We’ve learned horrible things like “be realistic” instead of listening to that internal rhythm. We follow the group, not because of what we want to do, but because it’s safe.
Make no mistake, it takes a lot of confidence to walk into a place as yourself. It also takes a lot of energy to tell other people who you are. Not the representative (the person sterilized by society, the one that fits in) but you, the person you are.
Cursing over emails
I found myself internally struggling. I sent a bunch of emails out, and with each one, I cursed out of frustration. What kind of email was I sending? One that said “Happy New Year”.
That wasn’t the part of the email that scared me. The part that scared me were the links to this blog that I sent. The biggest one was the end of 2015 post, one of my most personal. I bared a lot with that post, and it wasn’t a lot of great news in there.
If you wanted to hate me, I gave up some ammo.
The benefit
By being vulnerable, I found a lot of people felt safe enough to do the same in return. I appreciate their boldness. Through being myself, I gained more connection, which I am learning, along with time, are the greatest currencies we have.
Now that I don’t have a regular 9-5, I don’t have a boss. What I do have, is that pang of self-doubt. I know if I am running towards it, and conquering it, there is a chance that I build a connection.
In the spirit of the time of year, I will spare you the bad and ugly, and present just the good. There is a lot of books that I haven’t captured here that are wonderful. Take a look at my Goodreads account and tweet me and I’ll give you a review on the book, or follow my Instagram account, where I leave book reviews to get an idea if a book will work for you.
First, I give the honorable mentions, a quick look at 5 books that I find tremendous and are surefire hits on my reread list. Then the top 5 books that changed my perspective.
Honorable Mention Books
Art of LearningJosh Waitzkin [Recommended by Tim Ferriss] – Critical guide to learning how to master any skill. Thinking of doing something new in 2016, pick this one up first.
Freedom From The KnownJiddu Krishnamurti[Recommended by Zo Williams] – In order to learn about something new, completely new, you have to get comfortable with the idea that you don’t know. All of this starts with self. This is a great primer.
AntifragileNassim Nicholas Taleb [Recommended by Shane Parrish] – Great books change the path of your life, I think this one did for me. Antifragile discusses the idea of antifragility or, the idea of friction improving something, as opposed to things that are fragile, where friction destroys it. This book is full of wisdom, delivered in Nassim’s trademark brash style. At first, I considered it to effect just my financial decisions, until I realized that this idea is something that all decisions should go through, eventually slowing down and stopping my idea of getting an MBA.
You Can’t Make Me Angry Paul O.[ Recommended by Maria Popova ] – When I first bought this book, I thought it looked awful. The outside is that cheap laminate that bad workplace materials use and the design is terrible. But, I bought it after looking at Brain Pickings and Daring Greatly(the next book) did a ton for me. I am glad I did. This book, in plain English, forces you to take a look at your anger, and understand the control you cede by letting that anger run rampant. I changed how I dealt with my emotions after reading this, and become a much happier person.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and LeadBrene Brown[Recommended by Maria Popova] As soon as I read this, I bought her entire bibliography. This book is that powerful. Brene Brown connects all the lessons such as dealing with vulnerability, how shame hurts in every situation, and beating ourselves leads no where with personal stories(where she leaves it out there) and anecdotes backed by tremendous research. By practicing what she preached in a book where she didn’t have to, she changed my life for the better. This book is the catalyst for improving my relationships everywhere in my life.
Prometheus RisingRobert Anton Wilson[Recommended by Zo Williams] – Mysticism always seemed a little woowoo to me. I just believed in science(rationalization), and as a kid, I turned my back on religion when I noticed what it did to people. So, when I got this book recommendation, I let it sit on the shelf and did what I usually do when I procrastinate – head to YouTube. After listening to Robert Anton Wilson on YouTube for a few clips, I realized the depth of his intelligence and started reading. He lays out an incredibly insightful book regarding the world of the spiritual, and more importantly, he gives you the ammunition to question, not just what you know but what he says. This book is full of experiments (some are time-consuming, I read this months ago and I still work through them) and humor. It also got me to realize that complete rationalization is a religion itself. Before picking this up, I thought all that stuff was mumbo jumbo – now I recognize that I don’t know – which is the greatest gift of all.
Becoming Richard Pryor Scott Saul[Recommended by Reddit] – Richard Pryor is one of my favorite comedians. It often amazes me that as a kid born after his prime, I can still look back on his routines and laugh. I fancy myself a Pryorphile – I pick up everything I can on him. So, when I got this book from a Reddit secret Santa I know I had to read it. This book goes into great detail, covering stretches of his life that are rarely talked about (his childhood) or stuff of legend (His Berkeley time) where most programs and books are happy to just scan over.The result is a masterful book, soul crushing and inspiring all at the same time, toeing a great line painting Pryor as a person turned an awful childhood into something the world enjoyed, but never quite shaking that self-destructive behavior around the people closest to him. Any fan of comedy should pick this up, but stretch before you do (It’s the biggest book on this list).
The giving season is finishing up
But don’t neglect yourself. Reading is compound knowledge that compounds. All ten are worth your time. Take some time to expand your abilities by sitting down with a great book, and if you need any more recommendations, feel free to reach out to me on Twitter @TheHonorableAT and lets talk.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 