Don’t rush it.
You can’t skip experience.
It’s coming whether you want it or not.
Might as well embrace it.
Tag: Experience
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The Lesson, Not The Experience.
Well, That Was Bad
I bungled a presentation in front of the senior leadership that I sweated over and ultimately got wrong. It affected my work over the next week and threw me into a depression.
Lesson: Always know the game rules before playing.
True story. I tried to pitch something that was a slam dunk and realized I wasn’t prepared for the moment. That initiative took two more years and I failed to show my potential.
When we learn lessons, they often come with some experience. Sometimes it’s awful, but you get to take the lesson with you.
Don’t make the mistake of taking the experience with you.
If you aren’t careful, you risk becoming the experience instead of becoming yourself.
Your self is dynamic, resilient, antifragile.
Your experience is static, spiritless, fragile.
This is a major difference between being a leader and being bitter. The leader just takes the lesson.
Learning things can hurt – failures happen.
There is a cost for getting involved with making things. You will fail. It will hurt. There is no avoiding it. No matter how much you try to soften the blow, one is going to come.
The great thing is, if you whether it, you become that much better at creating. But there lies the tough part, failure hurts, and sometimes our ego can’t take it. It is a lot easier to sit on the sidelines and protect ourselves. It goes double if it happens early, when you don’t have success. It is easy to wonder if any of it is even worth the hassle.
So, if you are facing some sort of hurt, and you are wondering if it is worth it to keep going, I am going to let you in on a secret. My content creation journey all started in a failure. And I don’t write without thinking about it.
My first failure
I started writing for someone other than myself in 2007, when I got the opportunity to write at Allhiphop.com as a junior writer. I was fresh eyed and bushy-tailed. This was clear because during my first assignment, when instead of writing one review, I ended up writing three. I was happy just existing there.
So, when I got a few things published, I wanted to spread my wings. I got an opportunity to do so with a young fledgling video game magazine. I thought it was a perfect opportunity, matching my love of gaming with my increased writing skill.
It ended up being one of my first public failures.
Things aren’t what they seem
When I arrived, or as much as you can do at an online magazine, I couldn’t wait to get started. Soon, after pitching a few stories, they made an offer to become a partner. I couldn’t imagine my fortune, but what I didn’t see was that I walked into a mess. Instead of a stable format, things kept changing. The editorial kept switching. There was no vision.
I started to try to just write.
That wasn’t good enough. With my elevated status, they weren’t looking for a partner, they were looking for someone to add responsibility with no power to effect change. Instead of growing together, they wanted a glorified gopher. I don’t just add ideas, as a partner, I wanted to add direction. This created friction with the other two partners.
Before you get involved with anything, make sure you check the framework. When you get your car back from someone else, it is best to kick the tires.
This turns into a long story but…
The end of it is me being ousted from the partnership with nothing. I wasted time and energy. It wasn’t pretty either. My confidence was dashed. Luckily, I still had Allhiphop. I got better there, and ended up climbing to a senior writer.
Also, I learned enough to start The Gamer Studio – which I led to getting sold in 2013. I couldn’t have gotten there with my first gaming magazine experience. And that is the point. Even when failure gets you down, understand that in each failure lies the experience that will push you forward.
[bctt tweet=”Experimenting gave me a ton of interesting insights and it reminded me of a key lesson. “]
Funny how lessons come in many flavors. I had one recently with my calendar of all things, and it taught me about attachment.
First question – how do you see your calendar?
In the past, I saw my calendar as a hindrance. It made me uncomfortable. Everything on there was an appointment I didn’t want to go to. I didn’t check it often. I ran from using it for preparation because of lack of comfort.
I’ve changed my position on comfort. I’ve also changed my position on calendars. Both came from a change in mindset.
Calendars didn’t give me comfort because I didn’t try to understand them. I didn’t see them as a guide to my day, but a tool that kept reminding me of things I didn’t want to do.
I work best as an improviser. I pointed to it as a part of my identity. A calendar fought that, so I never liked them.
The change came when I used my calendar through a class I took. I came to recognize the strength in calendars as a data analyzer and a place to remove anxiety by giving me the chance to see the day in whole.
Experimenting gave me a ton of interesting insights and it reminded me of a key lesson.
We are constantly changing as people, our identities are in flux. We aren’t who we woke up as the night before so to hold on to the past is different. In my identity I saw a person who needed to improvise, but what i realized is that it is just one facet of a person that is always growing. Opening myself up to that experimentation gave me another tool to use.
As I said, lessons come from interesting places. But, above all, we have to be interested in learning them or they pass us by. Think about your attachments and what are they holding you back from.
Why Do We Enjoy Experiences More Than Material Things?
This post form Farnam Street talks about why we are so into living experiences and why we regret buying anything.
I can see what they mean. Your new computer, that new gaming system, or those new shoes will depreciate. You will get used to using them, and the opportunity to get another one is always available.
That latest trip however…
On the other hand, if you go to the World Cup in Rio de Janeiro, it’s hard to think about what you’re missing out on. If you decide not to go, you probably won’t get another chance to have that experience.
Those one off trips result in experiences that you don’t have a chance on getting back.
So if the choice is between that shiny new object or a opportunity to hang out and network with some old friends, the choice should be a tab bit easier now.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 