It isn’t coming from anyone.
In fact, no one can make that “it” happen.
If you chose the life of a creative leader, fear isn’t going anywhere.
Best to do as Seth Godin says and dance with your fear.
I first thought of boredom as a terrible thing. So, I would (and still do in some respect)seek out anything to keep my mind busy. I tried anything to keep the boredom away, so I would indulge in video games, Netflix, a magazine, call someone, text someone etc. Anything and everything that kept me “focused” and “on task,” no matter what that task was, seemed like progress.
However, nothing is worse than progress in the wrong direction, and making yourself do things for the sake of doing them often leads you in the wrong direction. After heading the wrong direction a few times ( uh oh, how did I end up in a pasta making class when I hate to cook),I had to think of something different. It didn’t reconcile with my idea that time is our only resource when I looked for specific things to do to waste it.
How do you stop that?
I turned off everything, now there are no notifications on my phone, I beat the video games I planned on beating, and I avoided the “Netflix machine” (my TV). I decided that I was going to try to see what boredom brings. Instead of looking at learning how to slice tomatoes, I decided I would sit in my room and dedicate the time to absolutely nothing.
I turned on a YouTube speech I heard several times and just sat there (I cheated, but it’s a start). I recognized, rather quickly, that the brain is a rebel. When I tried to do nothing, a whole list of to-do’s appeared in my head. I thought about quests I didn’t complete in RPG’s, old work projects I never scuttled, and if I cleaned my sink correctly.
In short, any and everything that came up was a distraction.
After sitting there for almost three hours doing mental gymnastics, something appeared and didn’t stop. I ended up recognizing my need to “minimalize,” and remove the stuff around me that I didn’t use anymore. I just shot a video on minimalism, and it didn’t surprise me that this came up.
After sitting there for some more time, I put it together. I had the why set in my head, and the impulse to start. I completed it.
This isn’t a story of me cleaning my apartment deeply, but something more interesting.
What I didn’t see until I sat there was the reason I kept all of this stuff was because I wasn’t moving on with my life. All of my old trinkets from my office littered my apartment. Most of it was stuff I didn’t use, didn’t need, and allowed me to feel comfortable with old ideas from the office.
The cleaning represented me stripping the extra weight from quitting and retrofitting the rest to help propel me into this new chapter. Those thoughts lived under (no pun intended) all my other ideas, and colored my decision-making since I quit. Since I did it, I feel amazing and now the old stuff I had is now fitting in my life now.
I couldn’t have gotten there without dealing with the boredom I had.
I am fully free to start this new chapter.
We(human beings) don’t like to run towards the trouble. Most of our lives build on avoiding it. We live with warnings from several people, always telling us that the end of the world is near, especially if you decide to investigate whatever that noise is. Because of that, we end up growing a certain amount of cynicism towards the noise, and anyone who decides to try to figure it out. In turn, we soon become the people who warn others about the noise, creating a cycle.
It is a huge reason most of us feel trapped, even with no cage around us.
It is something that is extremely hard to pinpoint, but something we all have. It’s the question we don’t want to ask out of fear of rocking the boat, or its the meeting we don’t want to deny because it’s a waste of time(and denying it would piss someone off), or the blog we swear we are going to write because the world needs to hear us.
The noise is what makes every human unique, and why if you know how to connect to it, every single conversation you have is interesting. That noise is the thing that makes us unique.
I think we all have a noise inside of us but kids showcase it the best.
It’s very active when we are young. That noise compels us to ask questions, explore, and talk to anyone. It leads us down roads often considered “odd.” I think kids make us smile because we see it, and we think it is alright for them to have it. It doesn’t hurt us to see someone so young with it, because they don’t remind us of ourselves yet. They are free.
But later on, we tell them to kill it, to fit in, to “act right.” They miss out on the grand insight from it, and it only gets to come out at random intervals of inspiration.
It’s a shame, because it usually grants great innovation. But luckily, it’s never to late.
I was talking to a friend about someone they knew, and how that person let a past transgression from 10 years ago effect their behavior to this day.
Life throws us trouble. It isn’t fair. But, when we take the ideas of the past and hold on to them unjustly, we end up troubled. The anger we have for someone else, or a situation doesn’t end up effecting them, it ends up effecting us. That hate gets turned in.
Our anger for others ends up only effecting us. That’s why I like to journal. The journaling gives me a chance to look at old opinions.Old opinions are great to look at. They give you the chance to look back at the past, and notice the changes you’ve made.
We are constantly growing as people. The old carries some weight, but only the amount of weight that we allow it to. Acknowledging that you change is the first step to doing it, and a great way to do that is to periodically look back at those old opinions and see how you’ve developed over the course of a year.
I spent some time looking at old posts on this blog and some older journals. I had some shocking and surprising positions. It was interesting to go back down “memory lane” and remember some of my older feelings.
After reading a few, I thought about how change happens, and how we are always evolving. The person in those posts and notes is gone, lost to the history on those pages. The person here recalling them is a different person, with different goals and accomplishments.
We don’t wake up the same person we were when we went to sleep. We change everyday, and if we don’t acknowledge that, we stay trapped by the past. Acknowledge that we are constantly growing helps you leave pain where it belongs.
[bctt tweet=”Compassion is hard work, the opposite of compliance. “]
I think we simplify the term compassion, so much so that we lose a lot of its meaning.
I am guilty of it. One of the statements that brings me back on track is remembering that compassion is not compliance.
For me, the idea of compassion instantly brings up Buddha or Jesus. Both figures were known for their compassion.I think of the parables of forgiveness that both have. What I often forget, is that the reason they got to the forgiveness part of the stories is because they sought to create change.
Compassion meant understanding, and that understanding often left them at the opposite side of the things as they are. It gave them, and the people who lean on compassion, to ultimately understand and decide what something meant. If it meant change, they would go about making that change. The base of that energy was compassion, and I think it’s a super power.
Even so, it isn’t comfortable. Questioning people or the way things done never is. Often there is a price to pay for clinging to your convictions, even if it comes in a beautiful package.
It isn’t a clear path to get there. There is a mistake, where people confuse empathy with sympathy. There isn’t compassion to understand, just using willpower to tolerate.
Tolerating, and feeling sorry for someone isn’t a path to compassion, it routes people back to this road of ego. It is easier when you see people who you think are “worse” off than you, but it takes its toll nonetheless.
It becomes a ticking time bomb, a run on your feelings that can’t help to expose itself when the time isn’t right, and the world is annoying you.
That tolerance is just another way of compliance. Its allowing something to happen, which has nothing to do with understanding.
It isn’t a growth measure, it’s a stop-gap, designed to keep people at arm’s length.
Compassion cuts through that, and connects your inner value with your understanding. It isn’t complying to the world around you, its being patient to understand it, and being a change agent when necessary. That leaves people extremely vulnerable, and sometimes, people angry.
It’s hard work, the opposite of compliance.
Believe in yourself.
Don't deflect critismism.
They aren't out to get you.
When do you find purpose?
Superman started saving the world at 33. This stands out because he always had super strength, the ability to leap buildings in a single bound, the heat vision etc. In short, he always had the power to do it.
What he didn’t have was his purpose. The greatest powers in the world mean nothing unless they have direction.
When he did start, he had his share of failures. There was a lot of fear – even for the Man of Steel. Even if he had an indestructible body – his feelings remained.
He had to be ready to take a leap of faith. He had to be ready to trust himself.
Take as long as you need to figure out what you need to do. When you do… commit. Take the leap of faith.
Further Study
[Man of Steel] (http://manofsteel.com)
Seth Godin
From the desk of Adam Thomas 