Tag: feedback

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The Last Stop Isn’t The End

Living the same year twice is a sin against time.

By “living the same year twice” I mean that feeling you get when the years seem to mimic the ones before. That is how you look up, after twenty, thirty years and wonder where did it all go.

And that is a shame because it isn’t coming back.

So, what can you do to avoid that feeling?

Feedback.

The trick is, good feedback stings the ego, and bad feedback can keep you safe.

Back to what I was talking about yesterday, and my “race” metaphor.

Yesterday: Determining the finish line before a race automatically creates context.

Today: Creating space specifically for a debrief (and this includes feedback) alerts a team to the changes they need to make. This makes sure that you don’t live the same year twice.

So there are a lot of ways people mess up feedback, but the important point is this:

We, as teams, tend to rush to the next step way to fast.

Those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it.

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Have You Prepared For Pushback?

Feedback grows “us.”

Hearing no, or that is wrong, or it isn’t enough hurts.

So, for us to take it, we’ve got to keep it together and expect the hurt.

When we know it, we can manage our ego.

One of the ways I love to ask myself is

“am I finished yet?” or

“is this the best I want to be?”

If I am in the same place I am today at the end of the year, I’ve failed. Feedback moves the needle forward.

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Correction – Do It This Way…

Someone gave me a great present the other day.

When I was doing squats in the gym, someone walked by and told me my form was all wrong, and why.

The communication was short, direct, and impactful.

The short-term gift was better squatting for my workout.

In the long term, I got a quick reminder of what good communication is.

Tell people what they need to correct, why they need to adjust it, and the impact of the correction.

Feedback is powerful.

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Perpetual Creation for Perpetual Curation Means Taste

Taste is important.

Our taste is the bedrock of our create practice. If our impact on the world around us were an algorithm, “taste” would have a real role in the results.

That is why creation is necessary. You get better by showing up.  And, you’ll get better faster the more often you do it. Perpetually create.

Creation alone won’t get you there though. There are far too many people who make things for the sake of making things.

To get our taste honed, we need to create a practice of perpetual curation. One way to do this is to build a practice of feedback. You’ll need to learn how to ask for feedback from people whose taste you appreciate as well as performing feedback for others around you.

Having a practice where you do both is powerful.

Show up.

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Get Taste from Feedback

Go!

If you want to get better at whatever you do, there are three things I need you to do:

  • Decide you want to get better – trust me, make the promise to yourself now, it makes the next two things easier.
  • Find people who also want to get better – the more serious they take it, the better. Our skills are sacred; they deserve to be in a community that believes that too.
  • Make stuff. You know what this means. Go.

When you do those three things, you’ve created the groundwork for good feedback.

From that, you get context and taste.

A sense of taste is the first step to working with impact.

Start.

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Hard Part, First

Medicine never tastes good.

Pills are bitter, syrups too strong, words sting. Whenever we are in the position to have to give medicine, we should give it, with an explanation, as soon as possible.  This includes feedback, where waiting is a recipe for disaster.

Waiting allows for a story to start and the spin to begin. Don’t think you are a storyteller. Well, you are. It’s natural not to realize this.

Our brain is good at telling stories. It’s so good, that the storytelling part of our brain is the last part of our brain to die (and this means storytelling outlasts breathing).”

Everything behind the criticism goes into the spin zone, and usually, those giving the medicine won’t notice the spin that’s happening.

That can lead to disaster.

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When It Rains, It Pours…

“Flooding” is bad for your health and sanity.

In the book “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”, the authors describe “flooding” as the psychological event that multiplies the impact of a negative feeling. For example, “flooding” is when you find that the printer isn’t working and somehow that feeling becomes everyone here at the office hates me.

Yes, I’ve seen that example happen. It also may have been me.

When I notice the oncoming “flood” happening there are three things that help me get out of it.

  • Breathe – watch your breath, let things settle. Exercise is good here too.
  • Get context – Write out everything that is happening to you and read it back. The printer broke, not you.
  • Get thankful – The fact that you zipped up your pants before you left the house? That’s a win.

Floods are going to happen based on your disposition. I know a lot of creatives are on the “open” side of that scale, meaning we tend to “flood” more often. It’s OK when it happens, it’s human, but the key is to not stay there. 

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Failure – Feedback, Fear, or False

Failure isn’t a choice.

Any time you decide something, whether it’s inside or outside your comfort zone, circle of competence, or philosophy there is a chance to choose failure. Make enough decisions and it’s a certainty. There is no getting out of it either. No one stays undefeated.

What is a choice is how you frame it.

  • Failure as feedback – If failure is feedback then you understand the failure as a growth point. The world has told you something and it’s time to go back into the shed, figure out the lessons, and ship something else. It doesn’t affect the who, just the how.
  • Failure as fear – If failure is fear then you understand failure as a personal hit. The world has told you something about you, and it’s time to go back into the shed and work on yourself until it makes sense.  It doesn’t affect the how, just the who.
  • Failure as “false”– If failure is false then you understand failure  as never existing. The world has told you something and you aren’t listening. It doesn’t affect anything.

The best default is the first. But there are times where the other two have use.

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