Sometimes they hurt. Sometimes they don’t.
Most of the time, it pops in, wrapped in the disguise of fear of missing out (FOMO).
FOMO is a trick, designed to keep you stagnant. It’s a risk-averse way of thinking. If you don’t commit to something, you won’t miss anything.
Being super flexible isn’t a feature, its a bug – with no structure at all you’ll hold nothing.
One time Gandhi said to a group of his backers, “I need to set aside one hour a day to do meditation.”
One of the backers said, “oh no, you can’t do that! You are too busy, Gandhi!”
Gandhi said, “Well, then, I now need to set aside two hours a day to do meditation.”
I love Tim Ferris’s podcast . The Tim Ferris Podcast features some of the best performers in their field ( venture capitalists, athletes, actors to name a few) and breaks down what makes them tick, from books to habits. This isn’t the usual fluff that many of these podcasts give, it is real actionable advice, and every once in a while, you get a piece of the interviewer – or interviewee.
This is what happened in the latest podcast between Tim Ferriss and Tara Brach. Tara Brach is one of the worlds foremost experts on meditation. While there are plenty of things to get from this interview(her discussion on our inner self, and self-hatred could go for almost anybody I know) one thing that stood out was Tim’s vulnurability when it came to FOMO.
FOMO – or fear of missing out, is the idea that you could miss out if you don’t stay. For example, remember that time you left the party and it got crazy, and no one could stop talking about it. FOMO is the fear you get afterwards. Now you have to stay till the end of every party, even when most parties you go to stink because you have stayed far to long.
Tim’s fear, is that by taking a break(he wants a 3 month sabbatical) from the world of startups will leave him out of the loop. His friends are telling him that one you are out you are out.This fear is interesting from him ( he is the guy that made the 4 hour workweek), and it is a stark reminder that FOMO is real. But Tara calms him down, reminding him of the power of distance. It was a great reminder that fear, for the most part, is a test (Tim Quotes Cus D’Mato, Mike Tyson’s former trainer, when he says that the hero and the coward feel the same fear, it’s simply the decision to act that separates the two).
The Show Description:
Tara Brach (@TaraBrach) is a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and one of the leading teachers of Buddhist thinking and meditation in the Western world.
She is the founder of the Insight Meditation Community in Washington, D.C. and her lectures are downloaded hundreds of thousands of times each month at tarabrach.com.
I was first introduced to Tara’s work by another guest on this podcast, Maria Popova. Soon thereafter, a friend and neuroscience Ph.D. recommended her book, Radical Acceptance, as life-changing. It exceeded all expectations.
It’s my hope that this tactical conversation offers you techniques for addressing loneliness, anger, self-hatred, the “trance of unworthiness,” and much more. Tara’s had a measurable impact on my life, and I wish the same for you.
For those who know my fondness for Stoic philosophy, I think Tara’s work is a fantastic compliment to Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, and other favorites.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 