Tag: foolishness

[bctt tweet=”Only by opening his mouth can a fool actually become a fool can become wise.”]

“Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.”

This bible verse sucks.

I hate it because I lived it for a very long time.

If you saw me in meetings with people years ago, you would think I was a statue. I thought it was best to not “rock the boat”. Silence was golden.I invested in comfort. As I write about often, comfort isn’t free. 

There was a toll. I didn’t get away scot-free, because instead of becoming the lead actor(wise) in my movie, I ended up a silent extra(foolish).

Yes,I was a silent extra in my movie. 

By not talking, by not demonstrating what you know and don’t, miscommunication runs rampant. Your actions become foolish because you don’t know what people want. When you start down a road no one asked you to go down, you cannot hit the undo button. It is time wasted, and time is one thing you cannot get back.

One of the great tools to stop miscommunication is the art of asking questions.

Yes, there is an art to asking questions.

Questions are difficult to get right. One of the principle reasons why we don’t ask them starts with  the fear of being wrong. It leaves us vulnerable and we’ve all been in a situation where our questions are held hostage – and used against us when possible.

 I’ve been in teams where leaders do this, not realizing how great of a gift a question is!

Unfortunately, like with most skills, you get better by doing. Luckily, there are places to practice this skill with very little risk. Here are a quick few to get you started.

• If you are in a major city, take the opportunity to check meetup.com and go to a random free meetup, and just start asking questions. For 2 hours, you will be far more informed about a topic than when you came. (If there is a Q/A part, raise your hand immediately and go!)
• Start asking questions on Reddit. Make a throwaway account and just start asking and see your response.
• Interview family and friends. This seems obvious, but a ton of things we don’t know about our own families. I am betting you come out of this closer than when you started.

As you get comfortable, start raising your hand more. It is a great way to learn, manage the gaps of your understanding, and decide your real level of interest.

You are the only one that lives your life. If a fool keeps his mouth shit, he can appear as a wise man, but only by opening his mouth can a fool actually become  a fool can become wise.