Tag: Freedom

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You Can’t “Find Time.” No One Can

It’s a stopwatch, not a hackable computer

You Can't -Find Time,- No One Can
I can look at the time, tell you the time, or ask about the time.

I can’t give you time, in fact, you can’t give yourself time.

Time is a constant. Therefore, no one “owns” it.

Then why do we say things like “give me time?”

We say that because it’s shorthand for “tell me how long you need and I’ll calculate how much priority based on a million other factors and make it reasonable, please.”

Makes sense, because that’s a mouthful.

What is worrisome is “I don’t have time.” This concept of you not “having time” isn’t true, except in extreme circumstances*. We are all running the same clock. We don’t know how long that clock is going to run. No one can give you more of it.

Using language like that also takes away your agency. You are not responsible with how you use time; you just weren’t given enough.


The key to all of this, I think, is to think about time as a stopwatch. On this stopwatch, there is no start and stop button, and since it’s one of those mechanical types, no in and out or vulnerability to “hack.”

It just runs.

And it’s up to you to figure out what you want to do with it.

*Terminal disease, execution, etc.

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Small Changes Generate New Possibilities

Break the Filter

We don’t know our brains. After 10 thousand years of “civilization,” we still are only scratching the surface of the mind’s ability.

Our brain receives tons of messages every moment. The brain then filters them to the world we recognize.
This filtering system allows us to live life in a simpler way. However, I understand two things:
  1. We each see the world differently.
  2.  To widen the amount of stuff we accept, we have to break the filter.
Luckily for us, the filter is fragile. To break it, all we have to do is try something new.
New experiences open us up to seeing the world differently. Even something as small as taking an alternate route to work will change your perspective because you take in new things.
In fact, that is today’s exercise.

Exercise:

  1. Take note of the way you go to work.
  2. Map out a different way, one that you haven’t taken before. Take that way for a week.
  3. After a week, take the old way back to work.

Now, notice how different things look :-). Taking a new route exposed your brain to new things, breaking the filter. Think about this experience each time you go over something, and it feels “dull.” expand the filter, and see how much new comes from it.

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Freedom to Switch It Up

GirlyGoingAwayParty

Traveling a well-worn road is easy.

In many cases, it’s necessary. In high-stress situations, the well-worn road keeps us from going insane. The idea of “knowing” allows our energy to focus on problems. Focus is far easier to come by when you are comfortable in your surroundings.

Our habits are the well-worn roads of our conscious in our personal lives. Patterns make our lives easier, but because they make our lives easier, models can become a trap.

The way to avoid that trap is when things slow down, change the way you try with a habit. Change something small about what you are doing. If you clean the dishes at night in a big batch, try washing the item as soon as you use it. If you read before bed, try batching (doing it all at once vs. spread out) your reading for the week on a Sunday afternoon.

What happens? Perhaps nothing, or you find a way you approach your habit improves the way you help it. If you read fiction better batched and non-fiction on a consistent basis, then you’ve found an actionable insight that you can spin in different ways.

Instead of grabbing a non-fiction book for a flight, you know it’s far more enjoyable to read that Kafka novel you’ve avoided for years.

Little experimentations like these can lead to serious results.

Exercise:

  1. Write down your consistent habits.
  2. Figure out one change you could make.
  3. Try it a few times, take note of the differences you feel.
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Just Plain Freedom – Freedom – August 2016

One conversation can flip how you think.

A few months ago I sat in a coffee shop.

Usually, when I go to a coffee shop, I am anti-social. It doesn’t matter if the work is writing, researching, or reading, I start working in a trance.

This day was different. Two women walked in and engaged me in conversation. It started off in pleasantries but then turned philosophical. We talked about freedom.

I realized that for all the things I’ve thought about over my life, I never gave time to think about freedom.

All I could do is listen.

I live in the United States, and freedom is something this country talks about often. Politicians say it from the stump, business leaders say it in business, and even inside of our families the word freedom works into our conversations.

After that conversation, I realized that I never investigated a word that I hear so often.

That is what this month is about, examining freedom.

This month’s theme ties into a Big Idea

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

The big idea for this part of the year is freedom. To maximize the freedom of yourself and others, one must maximize both over-communication and say “no.” After that, start stuff and test those assumptions. The result is being freer than before,

Reread candidate

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius – Controlling you is a big part of freedom, and reading the journal of one of the world’s most powerful men is a reminder that it is a journey for us all.

Assumptions

  • Freedom is about choice.
  • If we don’t forgive, then we aren’t free.
  • Freedom is scary and easy to give up.
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Why I Quit a Cushy Job

I’m done with the job

I recently turned in my notice for resignation. It was difficult to do. I spent 6 years at a place that brought me to New York, paid me well, and taught me a lot of things. They prepared me for the journey I am about to embark on because it forced me to face my faults, and learn my strengths and weaknesses. They treated me very well, because besides what I mentioned above, I got the following.

  • 3 Weeks Vacation
  • Raise every year
  • Bonus
  • Stable
  • Decent Bosses

  In this, or any time, this seems ridiculous.

I am not wired to enjoy the comfort too long

I expected more, got into lifestyle creep, and next thing I knew, my weight got bigger. I felt myself slipping. There is a decision cost with everything, including staying. Vacation wasn’t a vacation at all. Instead of a recharge, I found myself using vacation as an escape. I didn’t find myself recharged to get back to work and give value, I thought about “I hate I had to go back to work” (This isn’t to be confused with the idea of leaving the vacation spot. I love getting back to New York, but work, especially at the end, made my stomach curdle).

Valuing my voice

The 2015 99U conference was huge for me, and a watershed moment in my life. Being around that energy made me feel different. I felt comfortable, engaged, and closer to work. I built connections and started learning about how I add value to others. It started giving me the confidence that this move may work. I don’t know if it will, but isn’t that the fun part?

Creativity and betting on myself

Sometimes things feel too safe. What do I mean by that? Well, some people love for risk aversion, and some people aren’t. Working at this job taught me that I wasn’t one of those people, that my best work comes when the world is coming at me and I get the creativity to figure out how to handle it. Like a dog that is house trained, my instincts began to fail me. Instead of growth, I got comfortable. Knowing where my next check was coming, that every Thursday things get OK, made me complacent.  All experimental work became an intellectual exercise. I started to lose my creativity and it got replaced by that comfort. No matter how many books I bought or side work I did, I felt trapped. The job had to come first, and along side of it brought some long weeks and an unpredictable schedule. So it’s time to bet on myself, and see where that goes.

This isn’t a treatise on why a stable 9-5 sucks

If you came here looking for a reason to quit your job, you won’t find it here. There is a lot of proud and intelligent people where I work. Creating a freelance job doesn’t make you better or worse. If you wonder what the upside to that, go back and read that list at the start of this article. I only think this is the right move for me, and a chance to experiment with a different lifestyle. If this doesn’t work, I’ll move back to what I used to do in a heartbeat. There is no pride in this decision, just a risk and an experiment – no different then walking without my cellphone for a month. I know I need change, so here we are.

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There is Freedom In Hard Work

Business is hard work

It’s easy to talk about, but hard to build on. Each dollar you collect from someone represents your mark on an economy, and the work that you or your team put in to get someone to part with that resource. It represent

When I look at my bank account, it’s a direct correlation to what I believe and more importantly invest in.

I don’t take it lightly

Although I used too. I used to think it was easy, getting money from people. It’s easy to spot someone who thinks like this, because they constantly say things like “It’s easy to do that” and when you ask them, they already have an excuse on how it won’t work.

I don’t judge them too harshly. As I alluded to above, I used to do the same.

So what changed

But I learned, when I started to put my money where my mouth was, just how hard it is to get people to part with it. And when they do part with it, how difficult it is to keep people parting with it.

It’s an ego buster.

With any product, watching people connect and disconnect is …well weird. What worked a year ago suddenly doesn’t work anymore. Sometimes it just catches fire. Sometimes people just see it and love or hate it.

It is a slap to the ego. Learning that it’s about the other person, not you, the world buster, takes a lot. But it becomes beautiful, because through that effort, you learn. When you learn, ultimately you earn the right to do it again, and again.

Freedom

This isn’t easy. No one helps you, and there is a huge cost of entry (although it’s getting lower, you still have to dedicate time), but its a constant learning opportunity.

Freedom ain’t free.

 

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Some Antifragility – Pen That Resignation Letter

“Some things benefit from shocks; they thrive and grow when exposed to volatility, randomness, disorder, and stressors and love adventure, risk, and uncertainty. Yet, in spite of the ubiquity of the phenomenon, there is no word for the exact opposite of fragile. Let us call it antifragile. Antifragility is beyond resilience or robustness. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better”

Nassim Taleb
I am currently reading Antifragile from Nassim Taleb. The book is a fantastic read (on the reread list). It features practical, modern stoic philosophy wrapped in actionable ideas all leading to a life of antifragility.

One story stuck with me.

At one point in his life he decided to work in academia.

When he got his job, he did something I find exhilarating (and at one point in my life, horrifying.)

His first move at work was penning his resignation letter.

After that, he signed it, and put in his desk.

This move instantly freed him up from the usual BS that accompanies a new job.  He had boundaries, and he made peace with the fact that this isn’t forever. He ready for the unexpected(stoic thought) , and by writing (actionable), he was free to tell the truth as he saw it (freedom / strength).

I was never taught this way of thinking.

In fact, I learned the opposite way from my environment. Instead of starting with the end in mind, just be glad you “got a job.” (reactive) When you are there, do what they say and hopefully they won’t fire you (Weasel behavior/ complacency) . If they get outrageous, try to sneak out the back door (dishonesty) and look for a job. Once that next job offers that position,write a resignation letter then, once you are “safe”(golden handcuffs/weakness).

All positive, meaningful action (meaning not by chance/ randomness)  in my life has come from proactive movement. By penning that resignation letter and keeping it in a place he can see it, it’s a constant reminder of keeping the worst end in mind, and in effect, being antifragile.

Something to think about.

Note: A stuffy corporate job will not like that way of thinking, at all. When someone has the golden handcuffs on you, the last thing they want you to do is be a key maker.

 

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Less Is More

Less is more.

At the beginning of this year, I boxed up everything, old clothes, shoes, and electronics. After 6 months went by, I donated what I could and tossed the rest.

I didn’t notice much change at first – the biggest change was cleaning my apartment now took minutes instead of an hour.

Stemming from that change – I’ve started to see fluff, and realizing that its easier to toss fluff then think about it. It’s possible to cut and still be productive. In fact, I’m more productive now because of cutting.

Less is more.

 

 

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Shame Is The Great Dererrant

Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly is a great book on vulnerability. The chapter I read last night on shame has been illuminating in showing how much that emotion can hold us back.

We shouldn’t be ashamed, we all engage in it. Negative self talk brings us to a place where men shut down and women feel like they aren’t heard. Through this, we can’t do much work. It is hard enough to work through mundane tasks when we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, much less anything interesting that requires our strength.

The most interesting thing to me about this is that internal factors slows us down a lot more  than the world around us. This begins to make sense when you realize just how powerful the brain is. The last part of us to die is our rationalization, meaning even when we stop breathing we are looking for an angle.

Don’t discount how powerful the brain is. When we are younger, we create the monsters under the bed. We have our parents come and show us that they aren’t there. The biggest mistake we make is to believe we grow up and stop creating them. We do it all the time, and they take different forms. We complain, scratch, kick, quit, sleep, play games, or anything else to get away from what we can carry out due to the monsters that we create.

The great thing about this is we are not trapped by what we are. We don’t need to fear our brain. We can control it.  Admitting the shame is the first step to breaking out of that spiral. Simply saying it makes us better. My greatest shame with this blog has been not trusting myself to write enough. Three sentences was a way to cheat – I don’t need to give too much by just doing three sentences. Telling myself who wants to read this anyway, and making short posts kept my skin out of the game.

I want in.

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On Stage Freedom

I have found myself enjoying freedom.

Freedom to explore and see where things go. Being locked into things has its place, but the freedom to detach off of that, and build elsewhere is making me excited again.

I am talking about my standup… there is a confidence that I have now, something I didn’t quite get before. I feel like I can go on stage and start talking, and I will get to something funny.

It isn’t there 100% of the time, and its only usually at places that I am very comfortable in, but I am starting to see why it is so intoxicating.

I have touched the next level. Now its time to get solid there.

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