Yesterday I felt guilty.
Why? I had “nothing” to do. For the last few years, I’ve kept myself busy with a ton of “‘work.” As I write this, I wonder how much that “work” has accomplished.
If we do things for effect, and I believe we do, everything that doesn’t move a needle, either internally or externally, is worth nothing, right?
I’ll think about that question for a while.
In the meantime, I’ll work on becoming more comfortable with a break in the middle of the day.
Every once in a while your body and mind will tell you to stop.
Listen to it and:
Often, we ignore it and try to double down, or we feel a sense of guilt and beat ourselves up for recovery.
Don’t.
It serves no one and your creative energy, on fumes, probably leads to work that you wouldn’t be proud of, anyway.
Drop the guilt and lay down.
You’ll be up in no time.
When we fail someone personally, our internal narrative switches into guilt mode.
“We didn’t “show up” so now it’s time to beat ourselves.”
Secretly, though, this feels good. Nothing feels better than a guilt trip. You get to show the world just how sorry you are through self-inflicted punishment.
And before you tell me that someone else made you guilty, you have agency here. You make the final decision.
It feels right to punish ourselves because it creates a story someone else can follow. A narrative is nice when you give a stump speech, not so nice when you create false stories that give your ego a hiding place. It lets you give yourself points to show the world that you care.
It’s nonsense, because no one is keeping score.
It is a complex way to hide, nothing more.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 