Tag: Habit

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Clean Slates

 

 

I am at work, experiencing a clean slate. I spent the last few months at Jury Duty (this is something I will talk about later in detail 🙂 ) aware from my office. So, I have a clean slate. My projects are essentially gone, and my group has gone along without me. I almost come in as a new person on the team.

[bctt tweet=”Clean slates are scary because, if we aren’t careful, they offer a chance to slide back into bad habits. “]

Clean slates are scary because, if we aren’t careful, they offer a chance to slide back into bad habits.

Clean slates are wonderful because they offer a chance to take what we have learned and build on it.

Like many scary things, they are necessary because they allow us to grow.  We get a chance at real freedom because of what a clean slate can offer. Freedom is scary, but it opens us up to the potential that we all have.

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We See With Our Brain’s Not With Our Eyes

[bctt tweet=”What makes sense to us is on how we do things.”]

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Gateway Habit and Convenience

I don’t know if I believe in gateway drugs, but I do know that I believe in gateway habit success and failure.

When a habit is new, comfort starts me down that path.

This week I got really comfortable with eating takeout again. This didn’t happen in one fell swoop. U didn’t realize how fast things could change. One day I was cooking, and the next I noticed I ordered takeout 3 days in a row. This wasn’t immediate, but I got comfortable each step. Here they are, in the order they happened.

  • I stopped cooking during the week and= I started grocery shopping less. 
    • The two things above eventually led to rediscovering seamless
  • I started going to the local fast food joint.
    • Didn’t have stuff, because I forgot to grocery shop. The fast food place was convenient, and on my way home. I noticed I didn’t really like the taste, but it was comfortable and took no effort.
  • I rediscovered Seamless.
    • I recognized that fast food sucks, but since I liked to convenience, why not go back to seamless. Better quality food and I feel better, just expensive.

[bctt tweet=”I don’t know if I believe in gateway drugs, but I do know that I believe in gateway habit success and failure.”]

And just like that, I was down the path of convenience and comfort, enjoying my seamless meals while watching Netflix. These were two things that I told myself I wanted to scale back on, and engage in moderation. I didn’t realize it before, but these things don’t happen immediately, but over a time period.  But, like most things, this isn’t bad unless I let it be. It serves as a lesson to always keep the habit up, even if its boring, or automate so I have no choice.

Habit gain or loss is a series of steps, each one leading to success or failure. Consistency matters, but also, the ability to see where we go wrong and fix it can get us back on the horse.

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Task o’Clock!

When I don’t have a habit defined, it lives or dies based on “task o’clock”.

“Task o’clock”” is a term I came up with to define the “right time” for any particular task. For example, if my next task is to eat dinner, “task o’clock” is about 6:30 PM-ish where my internal rhythm (hunger) syncs up with the acceptable time/space(“dinner”). This works great when I use it for theming the day or a block of time, however, by relying on it without specificity is a gateway for procrastination.

When I lack specificity:

  1. I decide to try the habit based on an emotion.
  2. I look at the clock.  Is it “task o’clock”, and if not, how close is it to task “o’clock”. ( It becomes dangerous if it is close, because through procrastination I can miss “task o’clock” and its gone forever.)
  3. I come up with a reason why it isn’t “task o’clock”( Unless I am absolutely feeling it, it always ends up bad here)
  4. I find Reddit (Nothing is more fun when wasting time, but you can swap Twitter, Facebook, or Yahoo etc.)
  5. I get fired up about a story, talk to myself, and then eventually get back to step 1.( Useless anger is always “worth it” at the time )

When you deal with “task o’clock”, it becomes black and white at every step. Black and white thinking relies on will, and that is a coin flip at best.

I have found the only way to beat this is by being very specific, and holding yourself accountable. Instead of saying I am going to write jokes tonight, I try to say I will write jokes at 8:15 (specific) and putting it on my calendar (accountable). I have noticed when I do this enough, eventually task o’clock syncs up with the habit I am trying to do and it becomes easier to make sure the habit happens.

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Don’t Break The Streak.

Don’t break the streak.

My life went a little left today, and I found myself with no time to type, email or sleep. But, as I get home, the only thing I can think of is not breaking the streak.

This compulsion feels good. I feel better for writing this, and the blog lives for another day.

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You’ve Slipped And Like It! 3 Ways The Slip Doesn’t Stick.

The love affair with habit starts innocently enough. You see your ideal self, and you add a piece of them to your schedule. Then it’s a hop skip and a jump to Amazon or the store to pick out equipment, mark it on your calendar, and soon you are off the races. You start the habit, and it feels good to get something done.

But, habits slip. It isn’t a matter of if, but when. For example, let’s say you start a habit of jogging every morning. You set your brand new alarm clock, put your running shorts and shoes by the bed, and get great rest the night before. By setting yourself up for success, you have no problem getting the habit started. You even follow through with accountability, marking it in a “habit journal” and tell your friend at work all about it.

This routine happens for a month. You have a healthy amount of notes in your “habit journal,” and your friend is sick of you ranting all the time about the easy morning run.

But, on day 31, your apartment suffers a power surge while you sleep. No permanent damage but your alarm clock is reset, and you are late for work. No time for a run, short of running out the door to make sure you aren’t too late for work. Your friend has a reprieve and makes sure not to bring it up.

When you get home, you realize how good it felt not to get up at 5 AM. Your subconscious starts to work against you. The next morning, you suddenly recognize that the alarm clock has a snooze button. “Whoops! It looks like I missed another morning.” It’s no problem, just have to work harder tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow is only a day away.

It is easy to let a habit fall apart at this point because the first slip felt so good.

I used to break down when I got to this stage because beating yourself up is easy here. But as I learned more about practices, I have come to know that this is nothing more than a part of the growth process. I learned some things to help me get over the slip. Here are three easy tips to get you back into the habit and not stuck on the slip.

Breathe – Take a second, if you can, and breathe. “On Purpose” breathing is a simple tool we all can use to get hyper aware. We slipped, it’s OK, but we have to acknowledge it.

You Achieved Progress Already – Every time you executed you proved to yourself that the habit was possible. In the example above, you jogged for 30 days in a row. That’s an achievement. Pay attention to the short-term gains (for jogging: clearer mind, time to think in the morning, having a morning routine) and the long-term(living longer, prep for the Zombie Apocalypse). Stay focused on that, and not on the time you missed.

Schedule Immediately – Get right back at it – priority one! Getting back on the habit is a way to get the slip off your mind and get back into the routine that you appreciate.

It’s OK if the fall felt good. Shaming and blaming yourself is a quick way to turn a habit into “this thing I was into for a while.” All slips don’t need to stick. Recognizing it as a part of the process and not a referendum on yourself is a great way to get back into it. So put those shoes back on and get ready, the Zombie Apocalypse is only a day away :-).

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Food Poisoning Can’t Stop Everything

This weekend I got food poisoning.  If there is a good side to food poisoning as opposed to any other illness, its dark period happens hard and fast. A cold or the flu can leave you stricken for days at a time, but food poisoning comes and goes.  I will spare you the gory details, but I went from hugging a toilet bowl to being able to take a walk in about 24 hours.

That isn’t to say that there are no lingering side effects. I am in pain. Anything that has to do with the core of my body screams the minute I try to use it. Walking is fine, but bending over to pick something up is torture. It hurts to laugh.

Being sick is a good reason(or excuse) to stop anything that doesn’t feel good. You get a pass to quit by friends and family. People excuse work when you don’t feel well. When it comes to physical work, increasing the pressure when it results in physical pain isn’t just a bad thing, it is foolish. If you continue to climb Mount Everest when you have the flu then you are asking for trouble.

When it comes to mental strain, it is easy to disregard and fall into the same trap. An illness like food poisoning isn’t harming the mind, only the body.  Yesterday, I fell into letting my mind rest as well as my body.

In the vein of “getting better” I didn’t write a list of to-do’s. In the vein of getting better, I didn’t set up my calendar, in the vein of “getting better” I didn’t run through my appointments for the week. None of these things would put me in physical pain or lead to discomfort, but I disregarded them because of my sickness. The result of it led me to start the week behind.

I am not writing this to beat myself up. It is far to easy to think in black and white terms. I am writing this as a reminder that one ailment isn’t a blank pass at relaxation. It is a reminder that just because my legs hurt, doesn’t mean my arms need ice.

 

 

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Exercise Isn’t Fun – 3 Reasons Why I Don’t Get Up For It

I don’t exercise. It is one of my sore spots.  I get even more sore after reading blogs posts that explain how important exercise is.

Exercise is It’s a habit that fails for me time and time again. I start with enough passion for it. I get the gym membership, I get the clothes and I get the gym lock. I find the gym, I ask questions, and I get things in motion.

But then after that first day, I begin to flail.  Sometimes it lasts for a few days. Sometimes it  as soon as I get the gym locker. Before I engage in this habit again, I figured that I better understand my failure before I try it. If I don’t, then I will end up in the same place.

I identified 3 reasons that I fail with exercise. Instead of just listing them, I am writing out the fear and then writing 2 solutions for each problem.By writing out the solution, I can excise the fear and hopefully, once I get back on the exercise track, not fall off.

  1.  Scheduling – I don’t make exercise a part of my day. I don’t schedule it, I don’t think about it, and after I get the gym pass, exercise becomes an abstract idea. So, upon waking up exercise takes a far lower priority than anything else (meditation,work,writing) . This allows any obstacle to derail me checking it off my list.
    1. Put exercise in my schedule.
    2. Make it a priority in an end of week wrap up.
  2. Ritual – When I am in the mood to exercise, there is no system behind it. The power of systems is well documented, and the igniting power of a ritual can make a habit easy. By  having no system, I give myself options. When my brain has options, anything else that is higher priority in my mind becomes easier. Nothing makes me think of email faster than push ups.
    1. Take options away – make exercise a fixed time in my day.Lock everything else up until I exercise.
    2. Engage in routine. Make exercise a ritual.  Start by laying out my workout clothes next to bed
  3. Accountability – What will people think? What if I smell bad? How do I get to work with just my gym clothes on? I focus on those questions instead of the important ones like how much have I exercised and what are my gains this week.  Getting an accountability partner that will keep tabs on me going to the gym will guilt me to stay on it.
    1. Accountability partner
    2. Fresh pair of clothing ready to go – keep backup stuff at work.

I look at exercise as a key to unlocking my ideal self, increase my health, and empower me mentally. By keeping these issues at the top of mind, and being aware of what I am capable of when I don’t focus, next time I engage in this habit I will find some success.

 

Note: I have done a post everyday for six months, through all sorts of afflictions (tired,sick,hungover). I am happy about this and the continued growth of the blog and the writing. To six more. 🙂

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How You Can Write Everyday Through Games

I love video games, word games, and board games.

As a matter of fact, I like anything attached to the word “game.” I don’t love habits change. When I change a habit, it gets frustrating quickly, especially when I got serious about practices in 2013. When I would try to start doing push-ups in the morning and writing in a journal at night, if I weren’t in the spirit, I just wouldn’t do it. I recognized my need for tools, and eventually, I discovered gamification for habits.  I noticed my “hit rate” go up, and I realized that when you change habits, you need a tool, such as gamification or accountability to keep your attention.  My “gamify-ing” left me having more fun to get me started on a habit and kept me accountable to help me keep it consistent.

A new practice or getting rid of an old one is a scary process. It is changing the routine and doing something new. We love to say that we like to explore, but subconsciously feel a lot of comforts when we lock in.

That’s what makes habit hard to change. Pattern change, by itself, just isn’t fun and comfortable.

If you are a smoker, you may want to quit, but there is comfort in the ritual of taking our the cigarette d it up at 2:15 every day. I used just to jump in bed without reading every night, and it was easy because I could say yes or no without any consequence.

That changed the day I made reading fun with gamification, creating a good reads account and making a game of clearing my book-case. The rules are simple by the end of the year; I want to read most of my book shelf.  I get points for reading a book thoroughly, giving away a book I don’t find interesting, and stopping something that seems to waste my time. The game doesn’t need complication, but challenging enough to get your engine going.  , Before I started that I was lucky if I read once a week.  If I don’t read every night of the week, then I lose points

I get a little more excited when there is some juice on the game or activity I find myself engaging in.  The accountability, or knowing that someone is taking note,  creates stakes. It was the reason that I got this blog going on a daily basis.I used to write, and I spent years doing it on and off (Look at the archives for this blog – they go back to 2012). Every day I would “check my pulse” to see if I cared to write. When I added the accountability, that changed from once every few weeks to every day.

I have done this for the last six months.

My secret for accountability?

I put that I write every day at the bottom of every email, and invite the person to read the first post. I can’t let that person down, because if they check and don’t see a new post or check the next day and don’t see a post, I lose credibility. My credibility is paramount to me, so I have an impulse to write every day, and the result is this blog.

By gamifying the habits we want to do or get out of, we are more likely to do them.  Getting started with anything is easier when engaged. Accountability keeps everything consistent. If I want to compare my work to someone else or even myself, the right accountability systems help. Soon the habit isn’t something I have to make energy to do, but I become compelled to engage. Things change in every moment, and by engaging practices, it’s easier to take advantage of each moment, and enjoy them as they pass.  It’s also nice to sneak in a game every once in a while.

 

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My Slide Into August Consists of Habits

I was completely ignorant to the power of habit, and spent my life internalizing the idea that willpower was the key to anything I did. The idea of habit seemed ridiculous, something reserved for the army. I thought that anyone with a creative spirit is held back by thinking of habits. I had that perception dashed when I read the book “The Power of Habit”, written by Charles Duhigg.  My perception changed, and I saw habit not as an inhibitor, but as a powerful tool that allowed me to get in front of my creativity and make the most of it.

That was in 2013, and since then, I have made it a point to keep some part of my mind on habits. Like all exciting things, I started strong, creating a string of habits. Many things have changed over the year, as I don’t think I carried any of those habits on till today. Some have gone away and come back stronger than ever (this blog), and some have disappeared completely (I used to do push ups everyday – that died). With that said, I haven’t given the idea of habits a serious look since 2013,  and I think it is the perfect time to make it a theme for the month of August.

 

What I Want To Explore: 

  • Checklists – I love the idea of checklists, and I made it a habit to put them all over my house (I have checklists in the bathroom and in the bedroom, along with my office). I haven’t made it a point, however, to investigate them fully, and I find myself wondering off the path sometimes. This topic will be fun to explore because since my checklists are everywhere, making myself a checklist maverick should improve all portions of my life.
  • Management – I hardly ever come up with a process of adding and subtracting habits in my life. They seem to float in and out on a whim. I’ve experimented with the idea of a “habit day” before, but that didn’t stick. I would also like to take a look on how I deal with daily vs weekly habits, the alerts I use to remind me, and the time I deal with habits (Is it better to read during the day or at night?)
  • Consistency – I don’t track my habits. What you don’t track, you can’t manage. I always find myself in the trap of patting myself on the back for doing a habit 4 out of 7 days, or remembering that I did the habit often when I only did it once of twice (I “remembered” writing in my 5 Minute Journal one week 5 times and I only did it two). I will be investigating tools that can help me with this.

Those are the big three topics that I want to hit, but with everything in life, things change with the minute. If you think you can help in any way, please reach out with suggestions through Twitter @TheHonorableAT or by engaging in the comment section below.

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