I got disrespected yesterday.
A comic asked me if I was in at a certain club – out of no where. I let him know I never auditioned. He then promptly turned his back on me.
I don’t mean that in a metaphorical sense, but in a literal sense, his back actually turned and he stopped talking to me.
This behavior is bothersome because I know who the guy is, he isn’t anywhere else really, and he was begging me for advice before his audition.
I explained this to my roommate, who then says he didn’t mean it, and after about 45 minutes of arguing, he realized I wasn’t making the story up – which got me angry. Why would I just pull that one out of my ass so to speak. What would I have to gain by creating such a story, when you were right there.
He thought I was mad because I didn’t get respect, however, the whole reason I was angry, was because of disrespect. A club or someone saying yes doesn’t change you, you are the same person, the same comic you were the day after the audition.
It also pisses me off because I feel like he has got to ride for his “team”, and I know this business isn’t based on teams, or crews, or friends even. It’s a business, and people will try to get separation when they can. Even if its small, and especially if they are at a lower level.
I really hate comedy at the lower levels because people try to create barriers. I try to be nice to everyone, regardless of level, say hello, and shake hands. If I am in at a club or two it doesn’t change where we are, we are all trying to get better.
I guess it bugs me the most because in my head, a lot of this plays out like a sunk cost. I helped so and so for no reason, and in the end, he burned me for helping him. There is nothing more crushing to admit that what you did, at the end of the day, was a waste of your time, because they used your help to get ahead, and not to help you or others.
Its a bit of a pessimistic view, but its honest.
I think it is a part of everyone’s struggles, regardless of what profession, hobby, or luxury you happen to indulge in, is figuring out when to help. The pessimist says that that will happen 9/10 times. You will help, and when you do, they ‘t even have the decency to wave to you when you once they are through with you.
The optimist says it is a freak occurrence, an aberration. Most people do appreciate it, and sometimes, they just don’t know how to show it. Its a tough pill to swallow, but there is some merit to it. helping people and being nice is something that never hurts.
I think the truth is in the middle. it does hurt for the niceness to dejected. You put yourself out there and was rejected, for no other reason to help. I think of this when family reaches out and you ignore the call, or you delete texts. I’ve been on both ins, and on the helpee side anger absorbs it all, so I don’t feel a thing. On the helper side, I am crushed.
However, rejecting all comers stops you from the experiences you may have. Who is to say that helping one person may just improve their day, brighten their outlook, and make them help someone else. You can help people for the chance that it may come back and help you, but I think sometimes that is a losing proposition because you become slave to people reciprocating.
I guess the best possible thing to do is to help and shield yourself from the slings that may come from the other side. Jesus , Gandhi, and Dr King did it, and whatever faults they may have had elsewhere, that niceness helped millions.
I am sure someone turned their back on them too at some point. I just wish to have the stability and the confidence to help the very next person, and not let it hurt me, like the comic did yesterday.
Some Random Thoughts:
I finished Marc Maron’s Attempting Normal. Very good book.
Don’t eat Morton Williams Sushi (stomach ache)
I found Juicing yesterday. I think i will incorporate it
How come there isn’t any White porn section
3 Things Done
Night Checkout completed
Todo Done
No Water
16/8 became 14/10. Hope to fix that.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 