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Just Plain Freedom – Freedom – August 2016

One conversation can flip how you think.

A few months ago I sat in a coffee shop.

Usually, when I go to a coffee shop, I am anti-social. It doesn’t matter if the work is writing, researching, or reading, I start working in a trance.

This day was different. Two women walked in and engaged me in conversation. It started off in pleasantries but then turned philosophical. We talked about freedom.

I realized that for all the things I’ve thought about over my life, I never gave time to think about freedom.

All I could do is listen.

I live in the United States, and freedom is something this country talks about often. Politicians say it from the stump, business leaders say it in business, and even inside of our families the word freedom works into our conversations.

After that conversation, I realized that I never investigated a word that I hear so often.

That is what this month is about, examining freedom.

This month’s theme ties into a Big Idea

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

The big idea for this part of the year is freedom. To maximize the freedom of yourself and others, one must maximize both over-communication and say “no.” After that, start stuff and test those assumptions. The result is being freer than before,

Reread candidate

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius – Controlling you is a big part of freedom, and reading the journal of one of the world’s most powerful men is a reminder that it is a journey for us all.

Assumptions

  • Freedom is about choice.
  • If we don’t forgive, then we aren’t free.
  • Freedom is scary and easy to give up.
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Let’s Get it Going – Starting Small – July 2016

What is the next step?

Do you get that feeling? 

That feeling where the task, project, or dream you have feels like it’s too big?

You feel overwhelmed.

You begin to plan on getting your task done; you find that it’s bigger and bigger.

Instead of this idea you have bettering your life, you look at it as a burden.

At that point, you put it away. After a few days, months, or years you pick it up and do it again.

We all go through it. 

There is a small phrase that can short-circuit this script.

It gets you out of your head and gets something into the world.

That phrase is “start small,” and it’s the theme for this month.

This month’s theme ties into  execution

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

Over two months we discussed communicating and saying no. Those are foundations to put in place. Now it is time to get a little more reckless and start stuff.

Reread candidate

What To Do When It’s Your Turn by Seth Godin– This book is fantastic in getting someone from “zero to one.”  My hope is that we’re all doing that this month.

Assumptions

  • The more experiments are, the better.
  • Our emotions stop us from starting more than anything else.
  • A lot of experiments are free; our mind tricks us into thinking otherwise.

 

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A Word For Freedom -“No” – June 2016

I feel guilty when I use it.

But after I get over that, I recognize that I decided.

  • I decided to give more time back to the projects I feel are important.
  • I decided to spend more time with myself.
  • I decided to enjoy the company of friends.

All three of those things aren’t shameful, and yet, when we use the word “no” we end up feeling that way.

I know that boundaries are important, attention improves your ability to appreciate, and decision-making is the difference between designing your life and letting your life design you. 

“No” is a word that helps you do all three of those things. It’s why I want to explore “no”, how it works, how I feel when I use it, and tactics that help me say it more.

This month’s theme ties into abstinence

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

To say no is to abstain.  I find myself over-committing, and I realize that I can’t make the most of the opportunity I am given. This affects everything in my life, so I recognize that if I get better at saying no, then I get better at giving value to the world around me.

Reread candidate

The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness
by James Altucher – This book was tremendous the first time I read it. I am curious what I will see if a focus on the word no.

Assumptions

  • I don’t like saying “no” because of potentially failing someone.
  • I don’t like hearing “no” because I frame it as a personal attack.
  • Defaulting to “no” will increase my time to focus, which will improve my attention and decision-making.

 

 

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Talk Your Way Through It – Over-communicating – May 2016

Do you like it when people hide?

I hate it.

I do it all the time, though.

Ahh, stop right there. I felt someone get defensive. When I say “over-communicate,” I don’t mean sharing your awful college party secret that you and your friends think is unique but isn’t. I’m talking about the second quarter projections that give you a sinking ship feeling when you go into meetings. I’m talking about losing steam on a point that you think is relevant but you aren’t sure it landed. How about that discussion that you know you should have with your significant other about how you feel, but you keep it bottled up because you don’t want to rock the boat?

All of that isn’t sparing anyone’s feelings: not sharing what’s overwhelmed your mind is hiding because we assume that the messenger gets his head lopped off.

Bu, knowing what to say, how to say it, and then delivering it in a way that everyone is clear gives you a ton of leverage and respect.

That’s what we are working on this month.

This month’s theme ties into communication

At the end of last year, I wrote a post that resulted in my picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

It’s a balance that dictates whether you are a wallflower, a leader, or an annoyance. I want to explore that this month since I feel over-communicating is an attack on fear. It’s also recognizing it’s boundaries, learning when you aren’t over-communicating, but babbling and taking over everyone’s time. I want to get to the bottom of both to see what happens.

Reread candidate

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
by Brené Brown – To do this right, I think you need to be vulnerable. There is no better book I’ve read on the subject than this one. 

Assumptions

  • Vulnerability plays a large role in if we dare to overcommunicate.
  • Learning how to use other mediums is effective here.
  • Paying a little bit more of a resource (time, money, etc.) to get “small” things done for the sake of over-communication for leverage.
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Putting It Together – Creating Rest – April 2016

Take a second and breathe.

As automatic as our breathing is, it gets much more interesting when we do it with purpose. If you’ve never done it, take a second and try it now.

Steps:

  1. Put your cell phone away
  2. Sit somewhere comfortable
  3. Think about your breath
  4. Put your cell phone away
  5. Take a deep breath.
  6. Exhale
  7. PUT YOUR CELL PHONE AWAY
  8. Do this list (1-7) again.

Do you feel that? Your mind is a little more clear, you feel a little better, and the problems that felt close now gain some distance. You have room to think.

Some of the pressure is gone, and there is a little more room to maneuver. That is the power of purposeful rest, and that is also why I am making purposeful rest the theme for April.

This month’s theme ties into the Big Idea

At the end of last year I wrote a post that resulted in me picking four themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

I’ve gotten to the fourth theme and I am focusing on the “big idea”.

The “big idea” is a theme that ties in several others to create a meta idea, or an idea that is powerful enough to effect other ideas. Think of it as a foundation. So, the “big idea” is anything that builds on the assumptions I gained over the last few months.

Reread candidate

Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School
by John Medina – Rest and recovery are a part of a larger cycle, and it all starts with the brain. This book is a great primer on how it works.

Other candidates

Assumptions

  • Jan. AssumptionsI need to factor in accountability, calendaring, and experimentation.
  • Feb. Assumptions –  I need to factor in limited willpower.
  • Mar. Assumptions –  I need to factor in the idea of being deliberate and opportunity cost.
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The Persistent Assault on “the Boring” – My Theme For March

It’s time to finish what I start

Starting something is easy. It’s where I get the most comfortable. The first part always brings me joy because I get the opportunity to get on the “ground floor,” a chance to see the potential of an enterprise and fantasize about making it work. I get to look straight up and imagine the skyscraper that potentially could happen.

In a sense, its renewal. I get to start with “fresh eyes” and forget about the stuff in the past. I get to release my “burdens” and become whole with the new.

Where this picture goes “left” is when I leave the beginning, and find myself in the middle, or what I like to call “the boring.”

From the Newsletter

Keeping the ball in the air is difficult. It requires a bit of faith, especially when you find yourself  in “the boring.” “The boring” is what I like to call the part of the project when there is no movement from anywhere. It feels like you are in the middle of the ocean, and can’t see land. The coast line is gone, and it’s just the hot sun and hope that what you do here translates into another shoreline(In some cases, even the shoreline you just left)

What is a weapon to counteract “the boring?” Persistence, the theme for the month of March.

This month’s theme ties into execution

At the end of last year I wrote a post that resulted in me picking 5 themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

Persistence will lock me into executing because I am promising to finish everything I begin this month to its logical end. I’ll learn lessons on how to get things done.

Reread candidate

The Effective Executive: The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done by Peter Drucker – A fantastic primer on getting the right things done, and how to see them to the end when you pick them.

Other candidates

Assumptions

  • Be deliberate as possible
  • Selection is far more important than will
  • I need to schedule things to make sure they get done

 

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So, Lets Hold Off – February Is About Intentional Scarcity

 

I noticed my website was slow

The site got tremendously slow. It was getting difficult to update. I appreciate speed when it comes to “surfing the web.” So, I decided to strip everything down to its basic form today. I removed all the plug-ins, and voilà, the site got fast once again. It was a great introduction to this months theme, intentional scarcity, or the idea that I am creating constraints to improve. I ran across this idea when I read the book Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much, (on the reread list this month) and have used it in an ad-hoc fashion to improve certain aspects of my life. This month I want to take advantage of the 29 days (leap year!) and try to see, with focus, how I use intentional scarcity to make things better in a systemic way.

This month’s theme ties into abstinence

At the end of last year I wrote a post that resulted in me picking 5 themes for 2016. They are the guiding light (strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie them together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

Intentional scarcity ties into abstinence because I am abstaining from the thrills and frills that most people assume they need. It forces me to say ‘no’ to comfort and ultimately, make me more productive.

Reread candidate

Scarcity: Why Having Too Little Means So Much by Sendhil Mullainathan & Eldar Shafir – This is a textbook for intentional scarcity, as it provides both research and case studies on why it works.

Other candidates

Don’t Make Me Think 

Questions

What questions will I ask this month when it comes to Intentional Scarcity. I think it’s important to think about the month’s theme, and the best weapon to generate thought comes from questions.

  • Why do I need this?
  • How does it work without it?
  • What made me think I needed this in the first place?
  • Is it because someone else said I needed to do it? Why do they think that?

Subthemes

What are some of the subjects that come to mind when it comes to Intentional Scarcity that need some extra leg work.

  • Bare bones – How do things work at the root of it?
  • Pavlok – I bought a Pavlok device. How does this factor into my intentional scarcity?
  • Free time – I have a lot of free time.  I default to abundance, how it this going to work?
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Janurary … A Great Time for Questions

Questions are scary

When I get nervous, usually there is a question lurking in me that I desperately want answered, but I am too scared to think about. So, most of my life I didn’t ask them. Internally I thought it better to live with the shame of not standing up then deal with the “problems” that come with asking.

I recognize that I missed out on a lot of opportunities because of that fear.

So, I start the year trying to understand questions. I recognize there  is an art here.  There are good and bad questions. There are also good and bad environments, recipients, and people who ask.  This month I want to explore these things.

This monthly theme ties into communication

At the end of last year I wrote a post that resulted in me picking 5 themes for 2016. They are the guiding light(strategic)  for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie both together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

The art of questions connect to communication as the gate to higher level discussion.  As much as we communicate through our words and bodies, it doesn’t mean much if there is no connection to the other side. Questions are that bridge that allows us to know what the other person is thinking, and what it means to the context of our existence.

Reread candidate

A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas by Warren Berger – I chose this because it does a deep dive in the ideas of questions. Its even in the title. What I got the first time reading this is how set up we are when it comes to not asking questions, how we get trained in being defensive, and how powerful they are.

Other candidates

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours

Seeking Wisdom: From Darwin To Munger

Ctrl Alt Delete: Reboot Your Business. Reboot Your Life. Your Future Depends on It.

Questions

  • How do I ask them in daily?
  • How often should I do it, when do I decide “is it worth it?”
  • How do I deal with experiments?
  • How do I react when someone else asks?
  • What do I need to do to improve my ability to ask?

Subthemes

  • Experimentation – Questions aren’t just spoken, they are also projects, i.e. experiments. So how do I approach them?
  • Note taking – Good questions come with preparation. My Note taking skills need examination.
  • Vulnerability – Questions are scary and leave you on a limb. How do I deal with that vulnerability without losing my head?

 

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So, Let’s Prepare – December’s Theme is Preparation

[bctt tweet=”I am not known for my preparation. “]

We are running into the end of the year, no better time to focus on preparation.

People who know me are already shaking their heads.

I always lived on the edge, using my intuition and trying to read people. I am admitting now, 28 years later, that I could work on it.

Trying to live on the edge of intuition hurts sometimes. I slow down , trying to find a ledge for me to mentally grab on to.

For example, socially I start very slow. I use my intuition to plug-in, and after a few minutes, we are off to the races. When I prepare, it is different, I feel confident and I have a starting point. I still need a little burn in time, but I get to talk with you until it makes sense.

This is the same with everything I do, and I miss out on opportunities. As I try to improve this year, learning some better preparation skills, even just getting a baseline, will make the next year better.

Subthemes

  • Production Time– What happens when I do things in advance? How do I do when I have some real lead time? How do I get the get the habits to create that?
  • Calendar/ Buffer – A calendar is important for preparation. I have to get real comfortable with something I don’t use as often as I could. What stops me? How do I maximize my calendar? There are a ton of ways to skin a cat, a calendar isn’t much different.
  • The Map Is Not The Territory– I do not want to become a slave to the preparation. One thing I enjoy about the way I work is my intuition. How do I not get lost?

 

Those are the big three topics that I want to hit, but with everything in life, things change with the minute. If you think you can help in any way, please reach out with suggestions through Twitter @TheHonorableAT.

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Focus – I’ve Got To Get Present – Hello November 2015

Nothing like grief to let you know where you pain points are.  I have said that failure is feedback, and in a month where I focused on risk, I got hit with some serious feedback.

In short, I experienced some headaches last month.

Including:

  • I almost left employment
  • Gave up sugar / soda / carbs
  • Got hit with a financial bomb

I got rattled. I didn’t do anything crazy (points there – in the past, one of these things would make me Mr. Temper Tantrum) but, my focus on them took away a lot of joy in my life. I wasn’t able to enjoy the birth of my god-daughter (Hi Skyler!) but also my best friend getting engaged at a dinner to his wonderful fiancé (love you both). I wasn’t present, mentally. And instead of celebration (a coworker got married also – busy month), I turned in and didn’t get to enjoy it full force.

In pain, when you listen, there is an insight just waiting – it isn’t anyone else responsibility for my lack of presence. It is my own.

I’ve looked at this in the past, but not in crisis (like I find myself in).  I’ve “tip and tricked” my way to getting full presence, but now, it will be this months focus, a real look at my presence at being present, and a focus on my focus.

It falls at a perfect time, the holidays are here and I will be in front of a lot of family, there are distractions, and its cold out.

Subthemes

  • Fear – I want to tackle this head on. How much does it play in my decision-making? Is there a way to practice fear management? Can I make a change in a short month?
  • Anger – Just like fear, how do I work on building uses for my anger? Where does it show up?
  • Vulnerability – I made some strides this year in dealing with it, but I never made this a focus, until now. How does this effect my curiosity? What habits can I install to force me to deal with my vulnerability?

 

Those are the big three topics that I want to hit, but with everything in life, things change with the minute. If you think you can help in any way, please reach out with suggestions through Twitter @TheHonorableAT.

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