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Learn Through Habit By Going Slow – Don’t Rush It

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Slow habits create teachable moments

One thing I’ve done on this blog is trying to keep track of my habits. There are a ton of posts on the subject, so much so that I have the entire first sentence linked up ;-).

One of the key principles I learned from writing about habit so much and failing a ton at them is that you do well when you start smaller. Preparing to start small helps you understand how you do and even better, give you teachable moments that help with other things.

Why Small?

Small, simply put, gives you the opportunity to get bored. Boredom, especially individually purposeful boredom, give your mind space to make something better.

The key to making the most of this is to put your full attention and embrace the boredom.

Great example:

When you get a habit of sweeping the floor, start in a tiny spot. Stay there for a few days, and put your full attention in that small place. Every day you do that, your brain is going to come up with a list to make that tiny spot better.  As you expand, you bring that thinking process to the rest of the floor.  It gets addictive.

Swinging for the fences leaves your arms tired

Trying to reach for the sun when starting something isn’t good preparation. Trying to get to Superman in one leap doesn’t happen, nor does it happen in 10 or 100. But, you get a lot closer to that ideal by starting with one push-up a day, and resting on the idea Superman. Trying to go to the gym every day and do a huge superman workout will squeeze you out.

Take advantage of the beauty of change by making a small one, and engaging in that. You might end up surprised at where you end up when you get a year under your belt.

 

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Don’t Apologize Too Much

When I was younger, I would apologize a lot.

Like most, I assumed that more meant better, so if I said sorry long enough, I would address the issue. I got to wipe my hands clean and we get to move on.

When I started working for and working with people, I began to understand just how wrong this was.  Just saying sorry is inadequate, and after a certain point, is just offensive. Sorry isn’t a magic word that lets you off the hook.

What makes people feel better is knowing that you both understand what bothered them and your assurance that it will change. A sorry doesn’t do that.

What does, however, is a task that takes more work than a sorry, and that’s a plan that goes with it.

Laying out what you think, along with adding detail is a way to show people you care. Not only because it takes time, but it forces you to think over the mistake.

Some questions to ask:

  • What am I apologizing for?
  • Why did it happen?
  • How can we (include the other person, an offense is a two-way street) make sure this doesn’t happen again?

Once you have this down, think of a way to carry out this going forward.

This is much harder than just saying sorry because you see why the other person gets offended. We hate to think of ourselves as wrong, and this exercise puts us in that uncomfortable place. Even so, learning about the other person, and figuring out how we went wrong, help us grow just as much as the other person.

We don’t get to decide if people feel hurt. But, we do decide how we make them, and ourselves, feel better. We all make mistakes, but learning through them separates the people who grow and those who stay stagnant.

 

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Learning How to Write

Its interesting, as I started this experiment, one thing I’ve tried to do is see my skill in writing something freeform. By freeform, I mean there is no big statement in front of me that says TOPIC: WHY BLAH BLAH BLAH LEADS TO BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I’ve written like that for years, to the point it is easy for me. To finish something like that, all I need is the topic, google, some of the subject matter in front of me, and about an hour or so to put it together with my thoughts. For reviews, it took a little time to soak in the material, but once it was in there, it was a matter of following that very same process to churn out 650 – 1000 words on said topic. In short, it was writing by numbers, and I am pretty good at it.

Even with these links I had been putting up in the recent weeks, it was easy. Topic is ahead of me, and I jsut sat with the material for a bit, looked at it, added my own spit, and then deposited the link for the public to digest. Now, make no mistake, I enjoyed the links that I put here, and people like Seth Godin, James Altchuer, Chris Guillebeau and Tim Ferriss are people to look up too. They are powerful people with thier own point of view, tons of readers, and various reasons to write.

But I knew, as a person, I have to learn how to develop like they did. I can’t be a follower forever. I was inspired by their blogs to get off the snide and make something happen, which leads me to this post.

I have had a hard time writing these posts. Its hard to go out and discover those thoughts. Most people give up, or feel like they just aren’t cut out for it. Even writing that last sentence doesn’t mean I still won’t. But it does mean that I am trying. This has been a learning process, and it continues to be one. There is a lot of failure left to experience and I have to find out if I can take it without breaking.

The last few days the faucet was trickling, and it may still be for a while. I have decided to continue to spend time on this experiment to see if my posts get flushed out. Today was a gain for me, becuase this post started out in the same vein as the last few, and a lot more words came out. Hopefully there will be more like this in the future.

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