mental games – From the desk of Adam Thomas

I don’t believe in tit for tat.

It’s reactive. The behavior usually comes from a belief that something is “owed.” If you didn’t initiate the issue, it’s time to return fire.

Reactive behavior creates a cycle, because if both people are reactive, there is no resolution, only tallying.

If you give me something, and I don’t give the same amount in return, the tally is on.

The tallying doesn’t stop with that conversation. It combines with the tally you’ve had in your head all day, and then you shift that over to the next person, and the game continues ad infinitum. Those original problems get buried so deeply that you forget them, but the feelings and tallying stay and affect everything.

Eventually, nothing is what it seems.

Have you ever seen someone screaming at the printer in your office? It’s never the printer…

My mind loves going in different directions.

I had several ideas on what to write today.

How to show up

Dealing with NYC racism

Surprises

Dealing with urges

Running away

The feeling after resting

Mentally being scrambled

Making your bed

The joy of oversleep

Idea #10

But nothing is sticking enough to put down. It isn’t that I have writers block, it’s that the ideas aren’t formulated enough to get put down. If I sat here any longer, I am sure I could come up with another 15 or 20 ideas to put down that interest me in the moment.

I want to try an experiment. I can’t run away from these ideas. I want to force myself to write to these ten ideas over the next ten days. I don’t want my mind to change in midstream.

How do I react when there are expectations, and I can’t maneuver as a writer to write what I want? The experiment begins now.