Tag: mindset

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Avoiding What I “Deserve”

I keep a list of words to not use

There are a few words and phrases I am not fond of. I don’t like them because I find that the act of using them changes my mindset, allowing me excuses instead of investigation. I’ve struggled with this internal fight, dealing with words that stir my ego into protecting itself.

I try to understand these words and make an effort not to use them by putting them on a mental list (one I should admittedly write down) while I use the blog to work out why I don’t use them.Lately, I have thought about the word “deserve,” and how it feeds my ego  and keeps me blind to possibility.

I deserve…

  • Ego – When I say the word “deserve,” I turn whatever conversation we are having into a conversation about me. I turn the discussion into a projection into what I want and instead of compromise, this now turns into a war*. Instead of a listening mindset, I am now working with a wanting mindset.  
  • Blind – The wanting mindset gets me focused on one thing, “what I deserve.” I turn off my awareness and now I “lock in,” thinking about things that are completely abstract, such as what I’ve “earned” and missing out on what is in front of me. 

Excuse words get you no where

I realize that “deserve” is an “excuse word,” or rhetorical device I’ve made to get out of dealing with the real underlying issues I have at the time. They keep me in the “yes” space, a place where I live on unintentional scarcity. Scarcity puts me in the mindset of taking what I see instead of learning what I need. 

*In my experience this is not the same as boundary setting. When I say deserve in a conversation I have already missed the boat with establishing what I need. I more than likely went into that conversation unprepared and scrambling for something

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Problems Create Success.

[bctt tweet=”Your problems are the key to your biggest insights.- Exponential Wisdom Podcast“]

Your problems are the key to your biggest insights – Exponential Wisdom Podcast

Wait…what?

Yes, problems create success.

That is the completely opposite way we generally view problems. In most cases, when you talk to people or when you talk to yourself about problems, you see them as what stops you from success.

That is the wrong way to look at it.

I am not saying problems don’t exist. Problems suck, and if problems didn’t make you pause for a second, either you live a charmed life or you are being delusional, neither of which help you move the needle.

The problem isn’t the problem (:-)) the problem is how you look at it.

The solution is mindset.

Mindset change is difficult, and I have problems with it. Old habits die-hard. New ones are tough to come by.  Too low expectations lead to no traction and too high expectations lead to excuses. But, when executed, changing your mindset leads to greater access to your self-awareness and potential.

(This blog is a place where I write-through my mindset change, among other things. Writing through it helps.)

Mindset is the key to seeing progress. I’ve noticed that it isn’t about how it happens, but how you take it. When you see problems as roadblocks they become just that.

By seeing problems not as roadblocks, but as markers, it changes the perspective from a binary stop and go to curiosity. Most of our interaction with the world comes from how we see it, instead of how it sees us. We move with our internal clock. So by changing the way we see it changes how we deal with and ultimately work with problems.

If you are able to take problems, break them down, and not just create solutions, but also prove an understanding of particular problems, then you are on the path to mastery. Curiosity often leaves you better than when you were before. Curiosity leads to experimentation. Experimentation leads to knowledge and then knowledge to true change.

Building my newsletter this week, and its hard. Each day I get a little closer with the design. I am launching on Sunday! 

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Video: 99U – Stress Mindset – Kelly McGonigal

I often go to talks, and most are boring. I don’t like sitting through anything boring, and I feel even worse if it doesn’t give me anything at the end. The 99U conference is completely different. It features 2 days of talks and workshops , and I can’t think of a bad talk for the 2 years I have gone.  The talk above, by Kelly McGonigal, may change your mind about stress. Stress is often thought of as evil, however, stress is the key to learning what is important.   This talk is a great intro to the book, The Stress Mindsets, which is one of the best books I have read this year.

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