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Networking To Network

Sometimes you recognize you need to re-frame something that you started on. I made a mistake with the months theme.  I went with Networking, a rather simple idea, instead of trying something bolder, and more interesting.

Networking isn’t evil. I should say that before I say anything else. Even with that said, I don’t think that is what need to focus on. It is a small piece of what I want to do.

Words do matter, and create a narrative all on their own. The narrative that networking has isn’t a real popular one. For most people, it brings up images of the guy in the blazer, schmoozing around in parties, making people uncomfortable with picking out what is valuable about them and eschewing the rest.

That was never my intent with the word networking, but that is what I see sometimes when I hear the word, so I can imagine that is what most people see as well. We can’t remove the past, the experiences that we have and as such, we can’t really change the narrative that things have without a lot of work. I am unwilling to do that work, and I think with a small tinker I can create a better internal narrative.

Small changes have big results. I am a big believer in that. So, the change I want to make is changing the theme of the month from networking to network.

That’s all. Really small change, removing three letters.

SO, why the change from networking over to network? Network has a completely different feel to it. It means connecting with people – learning with people. Network lets me know about a persons story. I get to help people. I get to grow by serving. Most importantly, network feels like something organic.

Changing words can change perception of intent, and that’s what I want to do.

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Theme For May: Networking

Networking mixers scare the bejesus of me.

Yes – bejesus. I am not the guy that loves to talk to people. I constantly fear being escorted out the building for my thoughts. It sounds ridiculous, but its the script that plays in my head, ad nauseam. Each conversation is another chance for me to step over the line, and be seen as the “other”.

Networking is pretty hard for me.  And while I am learning about how habits and systems make me stronger, I find it hard to make networking a thing. It’s always something that exists as a fringe idea, something that I happen to run into, instead of something that is next to me.

There are some associated costs. I know there are some missed opportunities, and I constantly envy someone who can walk into a room and make an impression. I used to think that this was something inbred, but the more I learn the more I realize that this is a skill, and skills are taught.

Next month I am going to make Networking the theme. Everything I do will have a networking focus, and I am open to getting any resources on the topic.  Coaching, books, and opportunities will be at a premium. I have a bit of stomach churn even typing this!

I have cheated though, I already started Never Eat Alone and finished Power: Why Some People Have It—and Others Don’t. Both books have gotten me to check some of the positions I have had before. I am open to more things as well, so please feel free to add comments or fire an email with resources that you think could help me learn.

An aside – but related:

Tonight I get a chance to go to the 99U pre conference mixer, held at the Highline Ballroom in NYC. This is a grand opportunity to mix it up with some conference people. If you are there feel free to say hello, and let me know that I am not escorted out of the building 🙂

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Networking Isn’t Evil

It’s hard to get over the hump of networking with work.

The act of networking is something that feels unnatural to us. We don’t want to come off inauthentic, so initiating and keeping the relationships alive feel phony. We attach images of a weasel to people who network often. They seem like they are power-hungry.  For that, I spent most of my life trying to stay away.

There is an invisible script that I have running in my head that tells me that people are not trying to hear from me, that what I offer is noise, and if I sit with something and try to perfect it, it will get better. The flaw with this is that I never get around of posting my stuff out there.

I looked at my backlog today, and I saw I had almost 200 pieces of writing backlogged. This is stuff that is sitting around my hard drive, which I let atrophy. I never made it into something for the arena, and ultimately, instead of getting perfected, it sits there on my hard drive. It dies on the vine. I lose the opportunity to improve for no reason other than my ego.

The truth of the matter is, we have something to offer. We all have value when it comes to making something that matters. The best way to find out and deliver that value is networking. Finding your tribe, connecting with them, and leaning on them to help you improve ultimately makes you a better value to those around.

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Procrastination Networking

My arm hurts.

Its funny how procrastination can sting you when you feel that wall in front of you.

We all know that wall of self doubt.

I have been doing well with this blog lately. Every day I have been banging out 300 words. Output is increasing – and my mind is growing. I tried to throw litany into this post (I did there) but in context before I realized that maybe I am going too far.

This is a good place to be. I think. But then I still have this feeling of procrastination waiting right behind me.

Everything tells me to stop, but I have to keep going. There is a story to tell, but it isn’t going to go out until I get used to getting out feelings once a day.


I am feeling good about networking this week. My spot last night went very well, and instead of going home, I connected with comics at Caroline’s and at the Comic Strip. I met two comics from DC, and I gave them some spots.

I didn’t do this in exchange for anything more than friendship. I don’t want them to owe me. I just want to build relationships.

That Ari Shaffir Youtube – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k43XcdlO22s is worth looking at if you want to make it in show business – or any business for that matter. I don’t know if he knows it, but his discussion on topics like this sound like the same things I hear in business all the time.

Business is business – networking is a part of it. We build ourselves up. Open yourself up to things. A lot of things in there that make a ton of sense.

I hope I can keep this attitude going. I felt helpful last night, and it felt it reciprocated.

Another 16/8 down BTW. I still hope red bull doesn’t ruin this.
3 joyful things are logged.
8 Seconds of Water
1 Red Bull Before leaving.
1 Blog Post down.

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