Tag: outro

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Don’t Let A Break Break You – Lessons From September

[bctt tweet=””If there is no struggle there is no progress” – Fredrick Douglass”]

Life takes you places.

I started this month focused on risk. By the middle of it, I recognized that I wasn’t in a place that I could focus on it effectively, so I effectively canceled the month’s theme.

Never did that before, but it felt right to do. That will be the theme next month, and I am far more suited to work with it now.

What stopped that from happening? Well, I allowed a break to break me. My vacation to Cabo moved me down a path of mood leadership(I’ll explain below) and the work that I did over the last few months fell away.

All of my habits fell to the wayside. Comedy stopped. Writing stopped. Reading stopped. In short, I left everything behind because I found myself running away. I felt like a failure based on my fear.

“If there is no struggle there is no progress”

Instead of wallowing in that failure, I took the opportunity to look inside and find out what made me tick so much. Through investigating smaller issues like using my office and establishing a wakeup time, I started to circle around fear. I’ve written about fear and the resistance (as Steven Pressfield calls it), but each time I tangle with it, I begin to understand it more.

This month was a great opportunity to understand.

[bctt tweet=”Fear is everywhere – but it doesn’t have to stop you”]

Through that understanding, I discovered that plans are great trip wires, ownership means real vulnerability, and there is no shame in leaving. I grew this month by working through the pain I felt, and came out of it a better person.

Struggle isn’t all bad, and sometimes the best thing to do is to sit right in the middle of it and see what it teaches you. You may not end up in a good place, but I think you end up in a better one than where you were before.  Failure isn’t bad or good, it is simply an opportunity.

 

 

Wins:

  • Fear– Recognizing that it lies at the core of everything I do. Asking a simple question “What are you afraid of?” lies serious insight.
    • Lesson: Fear is everywhere – but it doesn’t have to stop you
  • Sleep – When I sleep better, everything else gets better. I get creative and I can take more emotional risks. Waking up at the same time everyday makes everything easier, sleeping in on the weekends doesn’t catch you up with anything.
    • Lesson: Go to sleep at a decent time, prioritize your sleep experience, and wake up at a consistent time. 
  • Visualization–Breathing and visualizing helps. Take the opportunity to breath when you feel bad, and then visualize how you make the next situation better.
    • Lesson: Box breathing and taking time to focus improve the situation around you.
Losses:
  • Mood – Through most of the month, I let my mood dictate my actions instead of letting action lead the way.
    • Lesson: Mood leadership ( letting your mood lead you around) is a treadmill. Doing something positive with breathing and visualization will help.
  • A Break Broke Me–I collapsed on all habits when I took a break in the middle of the month. I have to stay consistent.
    • Lesson: Plan your breaks. Don’t use it as an excuse to lose.

Important Posts

Books

Habits

  • Sleep w/ CPAP  – Didn’t take this seriously. Started too and changed how I slept.
  • Water Coffee Tea – WCT! Changing my drinking habits. Not all the way there (I’ll cheat sometimes) but it is amazing how much better I feel – and money I save, but focusing on just WCT.

Closing The Loop

  • Todo Lists – Experimenting with to-do lists based on location. Losing my old habits brought up this idea. Has been interesting so far.

Emotional Intelligence

  • It Isn’t For Me – When something wasn’t for me I would take it as an insult. Lately, I just make that decision and still try to enjoy myself in the ways I do.
  • Gratitude – Just the practice with the 5 minute journal. It helps calm the seas.

Network

  • Barbershop Books – Working with Detroit!
  • Harlem Tech – A lot of people working on stuff up town. It has been wonderful.

Organization

  • Slowly GTD – Worked in my day job cubicle. Now its time to do it in my office. Slowly preparing and it is scary due to the amount of notes!
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Keep Kicking – Lessons From Habits in August 2015

[bctt tweet=”Building on habits, instead of focusing on a huge singular change, is a gateway to a more productive life.”]

At the beginning of 2015,  I recognized that blindly calling for self-improvement didn’t give me the direction I looked for.I made a decision to give every month a theme.

For August I decided use the theme of habits. I believed that working on my habits provided some insight into my behavior.

As we get to the end of the month, I learned plenty about myself through this exercise. This month was heavy on failure, since each day there were multiple stress points. Paying attention to the failure sucked, but through that failure I learned that I have the strength to move on.

Habit is incredibly powerful. When they stick, habit creates action, for better or worse. If we were to call our consciousness a car, habits would be the starter. It is possible to make the engine go without it, but it becomes much more difficult.

This month led to a lot of growth. Building on habits, instead of focusing on a huge singular change, is a gateway to a more productive life.

Wins:

  • Failure – I failed a lot this month.
    • Lesson: Failure doesn’t have to define your day. 
  • Action – This connects with failure above. If I get up and start doing things, I feel a lot better and it starts to stack
    • Lesson: Mood follows action, not the other way around.
  • Operation – I learned how to build habits and building methods to make them happen a lot better. Physical reminders were a big win.
    • Lesson: Reminders help, don’t be afraid to use them. 

[bctt tweet=”Failure doesn’t have to define your day. “]

Losses:

  • Management – I didn’t keep track of anything on paper this month. That was one of the biggest disappointments. I noticed the days I didn’t a lot more, but I don’t have anything on paper to make this happen. I stated it in the intro and just went for it, I didn’t make it into a solid done.
    • Lesson: As soon as I write a goal, get the homework and schedule it that day.
  • Consistency – I didn’t stay consistent in a few habits, and sometimes they were stumbles (5 minute journal and meditation) and some times they were collapses ( Ordering out).
    • Lesson: It’s ok to fall, but try not to make it a habit (hahahahahahaha). Don’t miss two days in a row. 

Important Posts:

Books:

Habits:

  • Sleep Before Midnight
  • Cook Dinner
  • Cook Breakfast
  • Vegetables in the Morning
  • Social Media on the blog
  • Pitching my Writing

Closing The Loop

  • Making a list of top of mind stuff every week

Emotional Intelligence

  • n/a

Network

  • Reconnecting with Harlem Tech Scene

Organization

  • Got rid of old boxes

[bctt tweet=” If we were to call our consciousness a car, habits would be the starter.”]

I learned a lot when it comes to habits. Tracking them and being consistent are things I need to work on. The biggest lesson for me though, was that failure doesn’t define your day. Each moment comes with a choice, and paying attention to habit this month made that clear to me.

I also just noted, I should keep track of every theme with each months outro. Would make this a lot easier, and make my accountability stronger. Ha, each post is something I can learn from :-). 

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Learn From My Failures In July – Outro – Closing The Loop

At the beginning of 2015,  I recognized that blindly calling for self-improvement didn’t give me the direction I looked for.I made a decision to give every month a theme. or July, I decided on the concept of closing the loop. I recognized that I often have a problem with closing out things. When added to my love of taking on projects and being involved, I recognized I needed a change.

Wins:

  • Withdrawal – I have started to cut away ideas, projects, and activities that interfere with my current mission of improvement. This has given me some more focus for the things I have in front of me.
    • Lesson –  The power of no is serious, and use it often.
  • Closing – I worked on closing some of the goals that Iprepared for at the start of the year. I also got rid of a few that didn’treflect on what I wanted to do.
    • Lesson – What I did then isn’t what I want now. I am proud that I adapted.

 

Losses:

  • Investigation – I didn’t investigate why I did what I did for clues. Self inspection is a heavy-duty task.
    • Lesson – This is a heavy-duty topic, there is a lot more to this than meets the eye
  • Maintenance – I gave in a lot and didn’t keep the things I loved to do afloat dutifully. This is the first time I recognized how my brain can really talk me out of doing things on a massive level. The white boards in my apartment help, but I think I need to use more tools.
    • Lesson – The brain is tricky, don’t rely on it.
  • Systems – I relied on my mind far too much. Even when I got rid of things, there was no systematic way to go about it. I lost insights that could make getting rid of things easier.
    • Lesson – Don’t just give up things – focus on why you did it and record it for later.
  • Joke Book – Didn’t finish, let it lapse, and fed into the excuse brain.
    • Lesson – Even if and maybe especially if I don’t think it is fun I need to have more alarms.

Important Posts:

Books:

  • Good to Great
  • Great On The Job
  • The Go Giver
  • The Upside of Stress
  • Waking Up
  • Becoming Richard Pryor
  • The Samurai Code
  • Peace Is Every Step

Habits:

At the beginning of the month I settled upon this theme of withdraw and advance.  By the end of this month, I recognized that most of the”battles” that I engage should rely on withdrawing. I haven’t got out of all the things I want to withdraw from, but I am on the path of simplifying. It has provided me with a lot more energy to invest in the things that I care about, and as a result, I am able to do more with what I am given. When I revisit this in the future, memorializing my results is very helpful, and like last month, give me a baseline on which to work from.

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