Tag: party

The Dinner Party (or Networking Event)

Post author By jrlsage
Post date January 8, 2017

Don’t fall into the trap

Dinner parties have their place. They are perfect for connecting with like minds. Good food and, hopefully, great wine encourage conversations.

To be a great guest at a dinner party requires:

Have a short, effective narrative about yourself.
Two or three stories that focus on that story.

These two things are hard to do. To master those two elements takes years of practice, and it is worth doing.

Great things can start at dinner parties.

They seldom, however, finish there.

You can impress people with Jeopardy Knowledge (seemingly useless knowledge that always impresses people) at those parties because you’ll rarely need context to tell a great story. It is great for the ego. A few laughs and you are out of there.

However, the next time you sit down with the people you’ve met at that party, the setting has shifted. If you retreat to telling those stories, you are wasting both your time and theirs.

Relationships begin at dinner parties. Afterward, they grow, and the growth starts with your follow-up. That is where you can “go long.”

The beauty of a long form follow-up is the power to ask questions. You can go deep.There is an opportunity to say “I don’t know” and grow.

Don’t waste that chance to go “long” by protecting your ego.

Tags dinner, Ego, party

Blog Post

Making My Bed To Reframe

Post author By jrlsage
Post date March 12, 2016

I used to hate to make my bed.

Every day I would avoid it. When my mother asked me as a child if I made my bed I would lie to her.

I don’t know why I hated making my bed so much, if it was an act of rebellion or a fit of laziness, but I would make it a point to actively avoid it. This behavior followed me from childhood in the DC area to being an adult in New York City. For years I never made my bed.

It seemed like a waste of time either way, and I didn’t care to “waste” time.

On the other hand, when I went into a place that had a made bed, say a hotel, I was more organized. I felt a sense of relief once I got to my room. The calm that I had when I had a made bed (and a clean room for that matter) helped me center and get a better grip on the next day.

I didn’t see the connection.

Life is funny that way, where the connection doesn’t stick until it does. We often see with our brains, and our brains get locked into certain habits. When those old habits break, there is an opportunity for new habits and connections to form.

It happened when I laid on my bed for a week while it was “made.”

Let me explain. I had a maid come by after a New Years Party and had the gift of a bed that was ‘made.’ My apartment has the heat on a temperature I like to call “hell” during the winter. So, for a few days I had a bed that was made and an apartment too hot to sleep in it. I spent the time laying on top of the covers.

After a few days I noticed the same habits I had in a hotel. I noticed I got organized before bed and started to think about my day ahead.What I thought was a waste of time turned into a time saver.

That new connection happened because I saw an old place in a new way. My old habit snapped and it gave me the opportunity to see something different. It took different circumstances in the same place to see a better alternative.

I try to think of that every time I stay in the same place too long. I use the question, “didn’t I used to hate to make my bed?” to reframe my situation and try to get to new ground.

Tags bed, brains, calm, connecgtion, Habit, party, reframe

Blog Post

Habit of Late

Late – this morning has me sitting around later than usual.

Because of it, I have to work until 7 PM tonight – and the rest of my day tends to spiral out of control.

My tardiness is a problem, and i would love to get to the bottom of it. There are excuses of course – I was out late last night with friends, but it was something I didn’t need to go to.

How did this end up this way? I made it happen with me not taking this stuff seriously. Its a habit I built up through years of just not creating boundaries. To lack control seems to lead to a lack of sanity. To be wild is not to be free, it is to be chained by your own emotions.

I have been reading a lot of stoicism lately. The theme that pops up throughout the reading is that control is the way to freedom.

Control and habit seem to be the way I will get the rest of my life done right.

It isn’t all bad though. For the last week I have held fast to several habits. One being the write three things I am thankful for and another being writing in this blog every day and showering as soon as I wake up.

I am thankful for that, and hopefully I can start to add some more routine to the evening and morning. Then I can always be sure that something gets done and there is movement.

Tags Habit, party, tardy