After a crazy night where PATH train service decided to quit in the middle of rush hour, and added an extra two hours into my commute, I was able to go home.
At the end of it, I was thankful that I actually did get a chance to make it there. Sometimes it takes something being taken away, for you to realize how things work without it. No PATH train means no connection to the city that takes less than an extra 30 – 45 minutes.
In short, it is good to see that all works again, and its interesting how fast people forget things. Tragedy can cripple, but for the smallest of them, they tend to be forgotten about.
That’s what made Mad Men’s episode this Sunday work so well. The episode was wrapped in the death of Martin Luther King, but in a sense, peoples lives really didn’t change. A major moment in country seems to float away, just as fast as it came.
I love Mad Men.
I did a few style upgrades to the blog. I don’t know if I have any readers, but it is a bit more readable. I will be adding a few more bells and whistles in terms of CSS in a little bit, but for the most part, it is there.
To tell the truth I don’t write my posts in the Tumblr word processor – I write them in Draft – (draftin.com).
I love the simplicity that Draft gives me. It allows my words to just be on the page.
I have become a huge fan of minimalism, and because of the blankness here, there is a only room for my thoughts. I can get lost in my writing. In a few minutes, I can blaze through a couple hundred words, without any popups or colors to distract me from the goal.
I have been more angry the last two days. I don’t know what triggered it, but I find myself being defensive over the last couple days, and I don’t like the feeling. It may have been triggered Saturday, when someone I worked with stepped out of their place and said a few things.
It made me think, do I have a problem with authority, or is it just tone. Thinking back, I just don’t mind being pushed, I even don’t mind being pulled, but just do so with the right tone.
My group at work, from the outside looking in, seems pretty good. We all sit together, we work our time, and we win awards. However, inside of it all, there is an ugly underbelly. People are praised privately and shamed publicly, there is a lot of bullying going on. People are clock watching, and looking to catch anyone’s faults just to look above. People undercut.
It is very Lord of the Flies-esque, and it makes my stomach hurt just coming into work.
The truth is, I think my reason for coming in late is I just hate coming into this atmosphere. I hate looking over my shoulder, it is mentally taxing. I can’t thing because there is constant noise. You can’t find a moment to breath, and people occupy the quiet rooms as if they are their own cubicles.
I have a talk with my boss tomorrow about all of this, the fact that I fell marginalized in the group, the ugly underbelly that he isn’t really shown, but I doubt it will go well.
I feel like I will be looking for something new soon. Until then, I will take the time to build my skills and find a situation that fits me. One that I like… Until then, I guess it is time to build career capital as Cal Newport(http://calnewport.com/) says.
3 Things Done
Water Done
Todo Done
Wrapup Done
16/8 Done.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 