Tag: proactive

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I’m Finished

“Be OK with “Done”

“Finished” is powerful. Being “finished” is a decision.

When you take on a project, product, conversation, etc. and decide you’re finished, you end it.

Then, silence. 

You can’t react and claim “I’m finished” because when you react, you didn’t decide.  Someone else did for you, and you don’t get the silence.

Then you push to the last-minute. You fall into the trap of asking “is this good enough?”

That isn’t your decision.

If you feel you decide “is this good enough,” you flip over from proactive to reactive.

That’s when we rush to cut corners. We stop because we get nervous. There has to be something we’re missing.

Usually, there is nothing.

Get comfortable with saying “finished.”  Decide.

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Don’t Rush – Box Breathe and Chill :-)

How do you get out the bed?

Your technique matters:

  • When you leap, you are on a one-track, emotionally led mindset. When you jump out of bed on Christmas morning or race to catch your international flight, the energy behind them is the same. It’s frantic, and you miss everything except your objective (oooh presents…)
  • When you slither, you are groggy, and you meander. You spend a lot of time trying to orient yourself. Your mind isn’t healthy yet. You hope you don’t crash into anything on your way to the bathroom. It’s not fun, and potentially painful (ouch!)
  • When you do so calmly, you are alert. You smoothly get out of bed as you stretch, check the clock, and yawn. You feel like you have a choice.  This form of waking up is ideal. (Yay!)
The first two ways of getting up are reactive states, either by prompt or circumstance.
The last way is a proactive state, where you have the energy to decide and the head space to think through it.
This mindset doesn’t just affect getting up, but everything we do.  Sometimes the other two states are necessary, but only in emergencies. In life, being proactive is better.

Exercise

  1. Think about the act of what you are doing, is it reactive or proactive?
  2. If it’s reactive, ask yourself, do you have to be?
  3. If it doesn’t have to stop for a second breathe deeply for 4 seconds in, hold your breath for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds (if you are curious – this is box breathing, and it’s a Navy Seal technique).
  4. Reassess and get proactive 🙂
 Every once in a while, just ask yourself if you are reactive. If you are, this exercise gets you back into that working space.
Drive slow, homie :-).
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Choice, Notifications, And PUT THE CELL PHONE AWAY!

choice

I hate notifications

I am like a dog. Whenever notifications come on my phone, I turn my head and get obsessed with everything about the phone. At first, it starts with whatever that notification is about, then check email, then Twitter, then Facebook, and and and… several minutes go by.

Each decision you make leaves a few decisions on the table. By looking at my phone, I decided not to connect with someone I am talking with, losing concentration on one of these posts, some meditation, or anything else that doesn’t have to do with my phone.

It’s why I cut off the notifications to my phone, but the break in period for me is always a rough one.

There is always a choice

In everything we do, there is always a choice. Our emotions may lie to us, tell us we have to react to any and everything that happens to us, but that puts us in a severe disadvantage. We get as deluded as we want to, especially when it comes to this. I’ve seen people throw away million dollar opportunities to get loyal to things they didn’t need to especially if it’s a reaction.

We lose ourselves, in the motion or the energy of change, that we end up losing ourselves in reaction.

Get proactive.

We aren’t robots. Choice isn’t something that just happens, we all have that ability, we just need to cultivate it.

 

A great way to explore is with your cell phone. Try to turn it off for an hour. Leave it in a dresser, and just walk away.  When this gets normal, try it for two, then three, then a day etc.

This builds up the proactive tolerance, avoiding the problems that come with looking for something to happen. Its hard at first, but step away long enough, you eventually find life much more satisfying, just because you got proactive with your attention.

It’s a small start, but that’s the best way to do it.

Proactive example:

A great example is Floyd Mayweather in the boxing ring.While everyone is trying to go for the knockout blow and reacting, Floyd is rolling his shoulders and jabbing.  He creates this tension, and gets the fight to come to him. 

 

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