Tag: Public

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Depression’s Deception – Why Saying “Get Happy” Doesn’t Do Anything

Depression is about disconnection, not sadness.

Telling someone to “get happy” when depressed is like treating just the headache when someone has the flu.

Humans are social creatures, and odd things happen when we get disconnected.

This is what makes depression an awful thing to deal with. Instead of thinking, “There is a place for me somewhere with some people,” you feel alone, out of place, and discarded.

This  paradox compounds with the problem discussing it in public, further making someone feel out of place.

If you find someone  who tells you they are depressed, don’t just tell them you love them; remind them that they matter, and how they connect with you.

Trust me, they need it more than a superficial “get better.”

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My Wallet and My Fears

No wallet lessons:

  • It is easy to go on a tangent when you have options. If I have no money and no options, I go directly to the place where I need to go. If it isn’t in the plan there is no reason.
    • Takeaway: Plan out my day and don’t leave an escape route.
  • If something feels remotely difficult, I try to escape mentally by buying something. I don’t think about these things after I buy them.
    • Takeaway: If I want to buy something, think about it for a while. Take a second every month to look at my purchases, be aware of the things I don’t use and spend.

Publicising lessons:

  • It is hard work. I couldn’t jut wing it. Doing it properly took some time. There are tools to help this process.
    • Takeaway: Dedicate time to it like I do with this blog. I can’t wing something like that and expect results. I can use tools like Buffer to get results.
  • Fear is at the heart of not doing anything when it comes to making things public. Being scared is part of the game, and it comes in many forms.
    • Takeaway: Make taking things public a part of my routine. Not just with twitter, but with Facebook, Instagram, and a mailing list.
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Comment On Life

I get really scared when I comment on stuff.

Really scared.

I always think the next comment will be the one that gets me banned from a website. I am going to inject myself into a conversation, and the rest of the internet will turn to me and scream”GET OUT ADAM”.

I would be forced to pack up all my little internet stuff in boxes and forced out of the internet, with 2 security guards coming by and disabling my ethernet cards and getting a high quality photos posted in every computing store. They would send out official emails to Amazon and Ebay to make sure I couldn’t buy anything. I would then have to scheme on getting smaller things and rebuilding an internet life using third-party buyers, using public wi-fi, and being on the internet run, trying to stay one step ahead of the internet police.

Typing all of that out made me realize just how insane that is, and just how crazy my brain is. I can go from step one to step 255 with no tether to reality (If you need any evidence, see above…internet police….) Instead of taking each step as a challenge to move forward, my mind would rather imagine problems from things that don’t exist.

No community can move forward without response from people, I know that logically, but I still stop myself from commenting on anything because I discount my thoughts before they leave, even with commenting on the internet being such a low risk exercise, most people will avoid it just to let the bad linger. This is why my newest challenge is to comment on every article that captures my imagination, with my real name, to find out what will happen.

I am sure there will be a lot of opportunities to connect to people, and worst case, the internet police will make sure I never have to look at my comments again :-).

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