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Compassion Is Not Compliance.

[bctt tweet=”Compassion is hard work, the opposite of compliance. “]

I think we simplify the term compassion, so much so that we lose a lot of its meaning.

I am guilty of it. One of the statements that brings me back on track is  remembering that compassion is not compliance.

For me, the idea of compassion instantly brings up Buddha or Jesus. Both figures were known for their compassion.I think of the parables of forgiveness that both have.  What I often forget, is that the reason they got to the forgiveness part of the stories is because they sought to create change.

Compassion meant understanding, and that understanding often left them at the opposite side of the things as they are. It gave them, and the people who lean on compassion, to ultimately understand and decide what something meant. If it meant change, they would go about making that change. The base of that energy was compassion, and I think it’s a super power.

Even so, it isn’t comfortable. Questioning people or the way things done never is. Often there is a price to pay for clinging to your convictions, even if it comes in a beautiful package.

It isn’t a clear path to get there. There is a mistake, where people confuse empathy with sympathy. There isn’t compassion to understand, just using willpower to tolerate.

 

Tolerating, and feeling sorry for someone isn’t a path to compassion, it routes people back to this road of ego. It is easier when you see people who you think are “worse” off than you, but it takes its toll nonetheless.

It becomes a ticking time bomb, a run on your feelings that can’t help to expose itself when the time isn’t right, and the world is annoying you.

That tolerance is just another way of compliance. Its allowing something to happen, which has nothing to do with understanding.

It isn’t a growth measure, it’s a stop-gap, designed to keep people at arm’s length.

Compassion cuts through that, and connects your inner value with your understanding. It isn’t complying to the world around you, its being patient to understand it, and being a change agent when necessary.  That leaves people extremely vulnerable, and sometimes, people angry.

 

It’s hard work, the opposite of compliance.

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The Dangers of Idea Religion

Religion is dangerous.

Religion cancels ideas, religion closes us off, and it removes understanding. Religion makes the world black and white where there are serious shades of grey. It leads us to confirmation bias which further distorts our thinking. I found myself on the train this morning hearing something someone said on a podcast about minimalism and it lead my brain to create a profile. From one sentence, I knew his political affiliations, family life, and thoughts on all sorts of subjects that he never talked about. I just knew what he thought, all off of a single sentence. I began to put my thoughts of him on his actions, and if it continued, I would bet that anything he did would be tied to that sentence.

I took some time to meditate later and after getting my mind to settle, I saw how ridiculous it was. I was subscribing to “minimalism” religion, and I saw any attack on it as an attack on me. It was unfair to that person,podcast, and even myself to take that narrow of a view based on just one sentence. One of the most embarrassing things for me to find out is that I could have understood something, but didn’t, because it didn’t fit my world view, and I found myself shutting down, missing valuable information.

Just like that, I was off to the races. Religion is a deceptive monster. Like resistance, it strikes at the level of thinking and pushes us slightly askew. The longer that we accept that religion, the more it pushes us toward  “protection” of its ideas.

Imagine going down a road, following a map. When something against the religion I subscribe to arrives, I push myself a few degrees to the left to avoid it. I get off course. If I remove it, and then rectify myself, I can continue my journey as normal without too much delay. But, as I go down that road, if I do not course correct, I end up in a completely different place. While it would only be a few degrees, the longer I walk the longer it will take time for me to get back to where I planned due to ever step being that much further off. It becomes a lot harder to get back to where I desiredand a lot easier to double down, throw caution to the wind and be vulnerable. You’re led to after the map of someone else and remove responsibility.

No responsibility means no control.

 

Note: When I say religion, I don’t mean Christianity or Islam.I am considering religion on the level of ideas.

 

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Religion vs Spirituality

A friend of mine was at a comedy show last night when a comedian started talking about Jesus. He didn’t present the story in a way that they had heard it before, and before he knew it, after making the entire crowd laugh for 15 minutes, had 6 people stand up, point, and tell him he wasn’t funny and he was going to hell.

It happened just that fast, from full of love, to hatred – all in one shot.

This is my problem with religion.

Now, when you see that sentence, you may assume a few things about me, but let me dispel the major one. I am not “anti-God”. To a point, I believe that atheism is religion as well, and so can many other things, such as feminism, liberalism, conservatism, hell even racism is a religion, and for a lot of Americans it is.

For me,identifying religion lies in believing a set of rules, a sort of dogma, that you are not willing to budge on. In fact, these are things you are willing to die for. You wear this outside of yourself, because people have to bend to your will.

What is spirituality then? For me, it is a set of rules you believe in with a faith. An in belief instead of an out one.

You can discuss your spirituality because by the definition I set, you don’t need the world to follow you. Religion isn’t up for discussion, you either get down or lay down.

Spirituality you are willing to talk for and religion you are willing to die for.

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Breaking the Charade

Sunday mornings seem like they are great for reflection.

I guess that is why most businesses are closed, Christians celebrate religious services, school is out, work slows down, and we all get to sit down and bask in the glory of the day.

Sunday always meant church for me, which meant work, which meant appearances, which means I hated Sundays for most my life. I had to get up, put on a suit, brush my teeth, cross my t’s and dot my i’s to make sure I looked good, because the family would be going to church.

This was a good and bad thing. I learned about appearances, and how important they were to keep. We had to make a show of it, because the people were expecting a show. To not make a show, at least a little bit, was to make you an outcast. There would be gossip, and shunning, even at tiny levels.

The bad was I learned more about human nature. A place that said it was inclusive and forgiving, really wasn’t. The gossip flew – “Did you see what that family wore” even as the Bible said come as you are. People would be judged – “I saw ___ boy at the liquor store” even as the bible said judge lest ye be judged.

I soaked a lot of this in, because I was a quiet observer. Slowly, I let it chip away at my feelings towards religion as a whole. I became an agnostic while spending 3 days a week at a holy building. I knew the bible, but what I saw just wasn’t matching up.

I think back and feel like I shouldn’t have let that happen sometimes. Maybe the key to all of it was forgiveness for your fellow man. Jesus was a strong person, and if a lot of that was true (minus the magic) then he was a great man who had a great capacity for compassion, even if his followers didn’t.

But I also think maybe the lesson was to forge out ahead, and be your own man. Look and see what group think brings to you, look what it makes you. Sometimes, when you are a part of the group you can’t just be honest. The story changes. A charade has to happen because if it doesn’t the whole thing falls apart.

As a comedian I would like to be able to change minds while making people laugh. I think an artists most noble mission is to take shots at the status quo, to show the world how it is, to break the charade – wrapped in a bouquet of beauty.

I want to break that charade without breaking the people behind it. As this Sunday rolls on, it becomes another week where this sits in the back of my mind, and allows me to push forward.


Movie Day is today. I have been picking out Sunday to go to see a film since the beginning of the month, and I think i will stick with this routine.

It is pretty nice to be able to unplug yourself, and surrender to something for 2 hours, without checking your phone, or looking at Twitter, Facebook, or even talking.

Its why I go alone. I want the time to let my brain sit on whatever it is processing at the time. If nothing comes, fine, but I want to train it to have Sunday be a time of silence.

The movie thing also helps because it allows me to see other people’s ideas, good or bad. I get to see show business from the consumers point of view. I can learn more on what makes a good movie, what makes a good story, or even, why did this thing go so wrong. Then I can use what I learned to improve my own work.

I’d like to learn how to tell a story, and this is the first step in making that happen.


I need to fill up my calendar more. It has always been a tool I neglect, even at work, where everyone lives by the calendar. People use it to watch meeting invitations, and the assumption is that you are busy if anything is on your calendar.

I have been taking that opportunity to block out 30 minutes a day in order to go over my comedy sets. It has generally worked. I want to use it now to

1) give myself time on Monday mornings to plan out my week as per 99u’s Managing Your Day to Day.

2) Organize my personal life in order to remember shows and get an idea of how my month is going in terms of comedy.

I don’t quite know where it will lead. Maybe ill be in the same boat in September. But I hope it will give me inspiration to be a better worker at work, and power my comedy. Push me to more markets.


Social media curating is a thing. Its a very important thing. It is something I have failed to do, and as a creative who wants to be a freelance person in the future, it is something I better learn how to do.

I want to pick Sunday as a day to really get into my social media. I need to buffer statuses, build a Facebook following, and update my about.me enthuse linked.in and hoverboard.io pages, and connect everything so they can work as one well oiled machine.

I may even make a brand new comedy twitter handle because I need to separate personal and professional. I need to make everything squeaky clean so when the next step of my career comes, I can be ready.

I can’t just be lazy and try to blame fate. Be the change you want to be.


Distractions are the devil. I tried to read something today while some audio was playing and I lost track of everything I read. Whenever I work with silence, I learn just how much lyrics and talk can distract someone from getting meaningful work done.

I think I will be investing in noise cancellation headphones.

Do: Wrapup Pushups CPAP 3 things
Don’t: Meditation to-do water vegetable juice thank you 16/8

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