Tag: response

Post author By jrlsage
Post date November 26, 2017

Greatness can exist in both “good” and “bad” times.

Greatness is an outcome.

We have a part to play in any outcome. Outcomes have many factors, one of which is the decisions that we make.

Because of this notion, reacting is a dangerous thing. What feels right at the moment could be catastrophic in the end. When we react, we don’t consider. We just do.

Responding is often better. Take a breath. Let the situation slow down. Consider the other possible outcomes. Then decide.

Remember, we may not have a choice in what happens to us. We do, however, have an opportunity in changing how we respond.

We don’t have to look for greatness; it’s already here. The environment will create the opportunity. It is your job to take advantage.

Tags energy, outcome, response

Blog Post

Respond, Then Explore

Post author By jrlsage
Post date October 4, 2016

You have a choice

That thing you are doing?
Those people with whom you associate?
How do you feel?

All of these things come bundled with responses.

For the most part, we are reacting.

I have to do this spreadsheet, or I’ll lose my apartment
If I don’t hang out tonight, I’ll die alone
If I don’t vent, I’ll have a heart attack

These seem extreme. However, we can admit how our brain go directly to the worst possible outcome.

First, think about the reaction and think about how to respond.

Next, explore.

Often, the world gives us the same battles to fight until we learn.

These tools can accelerate the process of moving on.

Tools:

Tags choice, explore, headspace, react, response

Blog Post

“Say What You Mean” Might Not Mean What You Think

Post author By jrlsage
Post date August 22, 2016

There is freedom in clarity, so take opportunities to make it

At the moment, sometimes it’s hard to say what you mean.

Think about the last time you talked to a coworker, spouse, or friend and the phrase “say what you mean” hopped into the conversation.

Did that make things clearer or did you come up with something based on the moment that would satisfy the people engaged with you?

I am betting on the latter.

We have complicated brains. Sometimes they work too fast for our good. A phrase like “say what you mean” can get us to focus on all the stimuli at the moment and concoct a response.

We then hold that response to the truth, even if it was just fleeting and in the moment.

It makes things complicated and in response to the phrase “say what you mean,” we often do the opposite.

It’s hard to break that programming – to say something unclear – because our lizard brain likes to play fight or flight.

Don’t React.

When you can, take a step back, and restate the points in the conversation.

Exercise:

When you hear “Say what you mean:”

Ask the other person what they are perceiving
Listen to how they understand the conversation
- Don’t fight it or fix while they explain
When you hear it all, paraphrase what they said back to them, so they feel heard
Fix the gaps with this “I didn’t mean ‘X‘ when I said ‘Y,’ My intention was ‘Z.'”
- I didn’t say that you were awful when I stated that you didn’t bring call, my intention was to let you know I care about those things.

“Say what you mean” is a trigger .Take a break when you hear it. Give both sides the opportunity to catch up.

Tags Communication, reactive, response