Tag: secret

I am going to tell you a secret.

I think everyone knows what I know. When someone talks, I assume that they have more information than me, and it can cripple me in conversation. I spend time trying to think of something else, and sometimes this means I am 7 steps down a road of conversation that no one wanted to join me on. They have moved on, and I am still stuck thinking about the last topic.

It sucks.

Especially when I know that relationships are critical, and how I communicate ultimately determines how much impact I have.

Has this ever effected you?

One thing I’ve realized through writing this blog, and connecting with the newsletter, is that my problems are not unique. I am betting that this affects another person who reads this.  If so,  I would love to share the exercises I do to fight this feeling.

1. Ask questions – This suggestion feels counterintuitive, but by asking questions, you allow your brain to be open to the idea that it’s ok not to know. This will break down that apprehension in discussions where you feel like you can’t add anything, and has an added benefit of level setting (making things clear).
2. Repeat things – Take breaks in the conversation and try to repeat parts of the conversation in your own way. I bet you have a unique way of saying things. I also bet that you will understand the conversation better as a result.  This deals with the thinking about something else problem, because it forces you to stay present.
3. Meditation – Most of this is self talk.  Learning how to deal with self talk is important if you want to break away from the monotony of “normal life.”   Meditation is a great way to learn about those voices, and learn that they are only that, voices. Those voices don’t mean anything unless you give them power.