Tag: sleep

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The “Millennials Problem” – aka YOU DONT NEED PING PONG TABLES

 

Whenever there is a perceived problem, you can find a perceived expert.

I realized this one day when I was in my VP’s office, discussing a class he just took. I was looking at a packet that named “Millennials and You”, and I had this shocked look on my face.

Not only because I didn’t know my generation required an after school special title for a class, but this class was given by an elite school (I won’t name it, but if someone came to you with a degree from this place, you would pay to listen to them, regardless of age)

I didn’t know my generation was so difficult to figure out. especially since every person my age wants the same things.

The packet made things way more complicated

I would have laughed reading that packet, if I wasn’t so shocked.  First the class had two Ph.D’s, both ivy league educated, both being “experts”. They had graphs and charts, a Powerpoint presentation, and the backing of that elite school. Looking at the front, I expected to learn something from reading that packet.

After going through it, I realized that my VP and company just got hustled. I recognized this when my VP started talking about ping-pong tables and white boards all over the walls.

I grew up around millennials, and I never, ever heard of a go-getter (I know a lot of them) ever say they need more ping-pong tables.

 

They are attacking the wrong problem. They focus on millennials, but the issue attacks every employee they have.

First, the context

What this class, my VP, and I am betting, everyone else who swears the problem is with the new, young people they work with is missing is the context of the world.

The gold watch era is gone.  Millennials grew up watching the last few generations have fleeting security, and as outsiders, noticed how the perks changed with each passing year. I’ve watched the layoffs. People I’ve known all my life got a pink slip just to get a better bottom line. The market matured into a free agent based system.

We heard the complaints. And millennials just internalized the free agent market. We realized that we aren’t going to get taken care of, and the best don’t feel safe for a moment.

With lack of safety, comes lack of engagement

The numbers bare this out. There isn’t a millennial engagement problem, there is a problem with the entire workforce. The gun comes under the new people, because they are bold enough to question, and are a little louder with the dissent.

The truth is, everyone is, some just keep quiet.

So, what I told my VP, and what I am telling you, the reader, now is that you don’t need professors taking thousands of dollars to “teach” you about your youngest employees. All you need to do is work on the engagement issue – meaning, listen.

What you will find is that it isn’t just a problem with the younger group, there are issues all through the workforce.  We are all scared. work on the fear, and magically, you find all the millennials working hard (because everyone will) .We all want the same things, meaningful work, a decent pay check, some vacation time, and most importantly, someone to  hold us accountable while making sure we aren’t alone. Does that sound familiar?

No ping-pong tables required.

 

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Scarcity is comfortable, thats why we choose it.

This is a hard pill to swallow

We grew up being told one day we could all “be president” but as soon as that speech was over, given reminders to get “realistic”.

What the term “realistic” hides is scarcity. Scarcity is telling us not to reach so far, not to stand out, not to make too much of a ruckus.

I hate it, and I feel we kill our inner self every time we use it. The question is why do we do it?  I think we do it because its comfortable, we decide to live with the “get realistic” ideals of scarcity because its easier to keep yourself trapped then to risk your ego by going out on your own.

The reason I hate it so much is because I am as guilty of it as anyone I know.

Abundance vs scarcity

When we are younger, we learn to hold on to what we have. It isn’t a problem to keep a hold of something. In fact, it’s seen at as a way to win through life. Keep your head down, keep what you have, when its safe, get more.

That’s scarcity.

Taking the next step, trusting your skill, knowing the world has more. Learning to get involved, to count, to matter.

That’s Abundance.

Failure comes in both directions, but you have to ask yourself, which failure sounds more interesting?

But we are comfortable with scarcity

We begin to blame everything and everyone for that fear, but truthfully, its our own demons. Our communities are comfortable with the idea, so saying things like “it pays the bills” or “its a job” makes perfect sense to people.

But, greatness, and understanding scratches that itch. That doesn’t come with being safe. We have to try for more, get uncomfortable with it.

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There is Freedom In Hard Work

Business is hard work

It’s easy to talk about, but hard to build on. Each dollar you collect from someone represents your mark on an economy, and the work that you or your team put in to get someone to part with that resource. It represent

When I look at my bank account, it’s a direct correlation to what I believe and more importantly invest in.

I don’t take it lightly

Although I used too. I used to think it was easy, getting money from people. It’s easy to spot someone who thinks like this, because they constantly say things like “It’s easy to do that” and when you ask them, they already have an excuse on how it won’t work.

I don’t judge them too harshly. As I alluded to above, I used to do the same.

So what changed

But I learned, when I started to put my money where my mouth was, just how hard it is to get people to part with it. And when they do part with it, how difficult it is to keep people parting with it.

It’s an ego buster.

With any product, watching people connect and disconnect is …well weird. What worked a year ago suddenly doesn’t work anymore. Sometimes it just catches fire. Sometimes people just see it and love or hate it.

It is a slap to the ego. Learning that it’s about the other person, not you, the world buster, takes a lot. But it becomes beautiful, because through that effort, you learn. When you learn, ultimately you earn the right to do it again, and again.

Freedom

This isn’t easy. No one helps you, and there is a huge cost of entry (although it’s getting lower, you still have to dedicate time), but its a constant learning opportunity.

Freedom ain’t free.

 

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Self Destruction – After, Just Rest

self destruction

BLOW IT UP. SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE IN 5…4…3..2…1

Oh I love to do it. Secretly, I think we all do.

When I think about all the self-destruction I’ve done in my life, it’s never good, but it comes with a few lessons. One thing I learned is that most of the time, it comes from me not being myself. Do it long enough, living as a lie becomes a powder keg, and within minutes of something bad happening, that keg explodes.

Nothing felt better than exploding in that moment.

That comes at a price. For all the fun I have subconsciously when I clear the decks, the pain afterwards is never worth it. Eventually, it makes me sick, and I decide to cut myself off from the people who support me, and I fall right into depression.

Self  destruction is the kickoff sequence to a bunch of negative feedback loops.

 

Much of it stems from not being myself, forcing an issue, and not listening.

What sucks about the self-destruction sequence is that, like in James Bond Films, its difficult to stop, and generally is a waste of time. What I find far more fruitful, is to save what I can, and recover.

It is impossible to go to the past, so don’t try to. Just start recovery.

In recovery, it becomes really important to contact people, and get some love.

The time to figure out what happened is going to come, and trust me, there is no point in rushing the process. Remember, you just exploded, the wreckage is visible for miles, and there is no shortage of people who will let you off the hook.

In order to face up to recovery after that self destruction, resting is important, and the idea of not getting defensive is another one. Explosions happen. We aren’t robots, and we can’t expect to act like them. The only thing that works is to cut the feedback loop at the source, before it goes to far.

 

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Life As Usual Vlog #4 – Lessons and Message

Every week I do a video blog (of VLOG). This week I talked about rest.

When I started this,  I was very scared of putting myself on video, so I got the courage and put myself in the arena, killing a lot of bad self talk.This gives me the chance to work on my communication skills, start a new medium, and experiment!

Once a week, after I have thought about them, I will give them a day here on the blog.

These aren’t just promotion posts (although they are, please watch and share 🙂 ) I want to take the time to break them down and try to clarify what I want to communicate and the tactical things I learned through doing.

If you enjoyed the video, and if you want to get on the ride, please, subscribe to the YouTube channel, and join the Facebook page where they post every Sunday night.

What I Wanted To Communicate About Rest

Rest is important. We often put it off, relying on the idea that “you sleep when your dead”. This puts us at a serious disadvantage. Our minds don’t grow when we don’t let them recharge.

I hit on three bullet points

  • Slowing down at work to give yourself the mental room to deal with new, different types of stress
  • Volunteering, allows you to rest some of the other muscles you train often (through work).
  • Sleep. We often don’t get enough of it.

What I Learned Doing This Video

  • Don’t use auto focus, it makes the picture jarring (Thanks Wale!)
  • I can use editing software on my phone to learn the basics.
  • It’s ok to cut things up, and make mistakes. Better to go long then to go short.

If you enjoyed the video, and if you want to get on the ride, please, subscribe to the YouTube Channel, and join the Facebook page where they post every Sunday night.

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You Need Sleep

Sleep is important, you cannot survive without it. People pride themselves on a lack of sleep, however, as the world gets more knowledgeable about sleep this is wrong-headed. Sleep cannot be understated, you need to get it if you plan on being at the top of your game. It is critical for you to get at least 6 hours of sleep every night. Proper sleep promotes knowledge retention and allows you to keep your complete attention throughout the day.

All the knowledge in the world means nothing if you don’t keep it. Your value to the important people in your life is often based on how much you know as well as how you communicate it. I often notice when I don’t sleep, I lose the ability to come up with facts and figure any structure. The result is a lack of confidence from the people around me and a lack of control on my part. It doesn’t look good, and I seem like I didn’t do my homework. Your brain does a cleanup at night. It takes everything you took in that day, whether it be from experience,book, or conversation, and begins the process of sorting it. If you don’t sleep long enough, you don’t get the benefit of this process, and most of the things you learned that day go away.

Your attention is important, especially if you want to learn anything. We all know how it feels  out of sorts, staring into space to try to understand what is happening in front of us. It all seems like gibberish, the “huh” moment. It feels like wasted time, and it essentially is. What is the point of sitting and learning things you can give your attention. Like knowledge retention, getting enough REM sleep is known to give relief and allow the attention to get better.

IF you miss at least 6 hours of sleep, then it is like driving a car without proper maintenance. It runs, and no one will know the difference, but you are eventually will head for a breakdown. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and sleep helps your body in all types of ways, especially when keeping your attention and retention. Your sharpness depends on your sleep, and without it, you are going half speed.

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By All Means Sleep

Please do – its your biggest hurdle between you and your best work. Sleep is critical and helps the entire thinking process.

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Sleep Isn’t Evil

They’re not many fans of sleep, and they are all to ready to let you know it. It’s a conversation that gets thrown around so much, I get guilty about how much I sleep.

People take sleep deprivation as a badge of honor.

I walked around my office Friday, and the same sleep conversation come up.

“How many hours did you sleep?”

“4”

“That’s good – I get 3 1/2 – I heard the Managing Director gets 2”

Sleep has become a myth. Needing it has become a tool of the week. Sleep deprivation is only for the true hackers in my beloved corp.

When I was growing up, it was something I watched in my household.

My father was the best example. He slept routine began with the blaring of late night TV piped into his home office. He would listen, not watch, The Tonight Show(his choice was Leno as opposed to Letterman) and begin to wind down as Conan started. He would then go up stairs to his bedroom, and lay down about 1 AM. His alarm would then start to blare at 4:30 as he got ready to drive into work. Even on the weekends, he isn’t much for catching up, as he is down around 2 AM and up at 7 AM. He counts six hours of sleep as a reprieve.  I think he told me I slept too much once, not in a mean way, but “Adam, why do you sleep so much?”

My mom, the same way, as well as my brothers and sister. Even my roommate now looks at me strange. He isn’t as nice as my father – “How do you sleep so much, what are you lazy?”

 

 

I sleep 7 1/2 hours per night on average. I woke up this morning thinking how strange it is that getting 8 hours of sleep that our bodies need is frowned upon. A little research let me know that I wasn’t lazy or crazy for wanting my beauty sleep .

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Not Fast All The Time

Slowness and stillness are important.

Being present is important.

Sleep is important.

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Sleep. Wake.

Go to sleep at night.

Wake up in the morning.

These are two important events – treat them as such.

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