When you use those three tactics, every word you use matters. Instead of dancing around the point, you hit it out of the park.
How does this fit with over communicating?
Imagine how much more you could communicate in the same amount of time if you cut “the pork,” used hard numbers, and wrapped it in a story.
Pills are bitter, syrups too strong, words sting. Whenever we are in the position to have to give medicine, we should give it, with an explanation, as soon as possible. This includes feedback, where waiting is a recipe for disaster.
Waiting allows for a story to start and the spin to begin. Don’t think you are a storyteller. Well, you are. It’s natural not to realize this.
Our brain is good at telling stories. It’s so good, that the storytelling part of our brain is the last part of our brain to die (and this means storytelling outlasts breathing).”
Everything behind the criticism goes into the spin zone, and usually, those giving the medicine won’t notice the spin that’s happening.
That can lead to disaster.
I committed a crime when I was younger.I think the statute of limitations is up? I hope so, or else this is the dumbest thing I ever did.(And I have done a lot of dumb things).
What I did, well, is in the title. But, before I get into the story, I want to say how much I like to sell things. The hustle is fun. Building things is fun. Learning how to make that thing into something that someone wants to spend cold hard cash on, is also fun.
I spent a lot of time figuring out how to do that when I was younger. I sold services, I built websites, I tried to flip candy. I always had a job (which I hated) but the job was more of a way to finance my fun. The fun was either the regular kid stuff, or trying to build something.
All of that came to a head in college, when I was just bored in a dorm room.
When I was a second semester freshman, I caught a break. The person who I split a room with dropped out. If you ever lived in a dorm, you understand how exciting this is.
YOUR OWN ROOM!!!!
That leads to all types of opportunity to bring friends over, have the “spot”(which me and my roommate did last semester – that leads to a ton of benefits, but that’s another story for another post),or just have great privacy.
I eschewed all of that, and decided to turn my empty room into a storefront.
I went to the local Wal-Mart, picked up as much general “college kid stuff”. The usual suspects: ramen noodles, school supplies, blank CD’s (should let you know the statute is probably up) and put a sign outside my door.
I was doing business, and it was alright. 50 cents here, a dollar there. I made up my investment and I got to learn how to sell stuff. The concept worked, but now it was time to take some risks.
I realized that I had enough stuff to keep a normal business. Now it was time to work on getting the part that made me special.
But first, a quick aside.
I am a normally curious character. When I don’t have money, or when I don’t want to spend it, I look for ways around. When I turned 14, that landed me straight into the illegal forum culture. It gave me access to almost any game, password or piece of software I wanted.
I was lucky too, as my parents were one of the first in the area with DSL. JACKPOT. I was in, and all it took was a few hours and I had anything I wanted (when everyone had 56k modems, being able to keep a constant connection and not tie up the phone line…as well as get almost 30kb a second was a godsend).
I knew I had this knowledge, a college internet that no one learned how to lock down (good luck trying this today) and a bunch of empty CD’s I bought. This was an easy thing to put together. It was college, and people needed Microsoft word. They didn’t have 100 dollars, but they certainly had 10.
Time to hustle.
Getting people up to speed all over campus made a few dollars, and word started to spread that I was the guy to see. Made for easy money, and I learned a bunch of business principles I didn’t learn with physical goods. Stuff like digital returns, real customer service and guarantees . I realized how easy it was for software, but what about the passwords I had?
Well that isn’t hard to find out, every coming of age movie points to it. I never thought about it so much, being a lonely college freshman.
I didn’t think outside the box, I had other things to do. I had a booming business to run, new friends, and classes I barely attended. The sales were calling.
But one night, I decided to test something.
I always had my price list outside my door. I decided to put down, in small print, porn passwords, just to see if anyone would bite. And they did.
Slowly but surely, they came by, asking about passwords. Dead of night or when they had other business (Hey man…i’d love some ramen noodles … … … … and one of those passwords) . I knew they had a short shelf life (we are talking a few days, although sometimes you got lucky) and a recurring base of customers (subscriptions!!!) . They were also a great bartering tool (guess who didn’t have to worry about the RA for ANYTHING)
I was in a good place. Product was moving, and of course, I still had the normal general store out the room. Business was good and sales were high.
The only thing I had to worry about was the dean of residence snooping, or one of his agents. I always got word when he would arrive, so I would take off the paper and straighten my room (He was a strict guy, and every once in a while he would inspect).
One day he dropped in, and I had no notice. He saw the paper, and in one fell swoop, went from asking questions (luckily my supply was low so I just lied and said I just got started as an experiment) and threatened expulsion (again he was strict) but the RA went to bat for me and lied (he told him “he’s a business major and thought it would be interesting” when he knew I was in Computer Science)
I got away with just a screaming, but, I knew I was a marked man. I had to let the business go.
I remember this story far more than any class I took in college because I learned more through executing than reading theory (this experience led me pick up a few business classes). Executing, and learning things like customer service, returns, marketing, subscriptions, and launching new products served me well as I went on to other ventures. I got better at sales.
I still love the idea of selling. Getting my hands dirty, and working out the kinks. I think it’s a way to learn, and I think dealing with the risk gets you an interesting story.
So, as long as the statute is up, enjoy and share this one 🙂 .
I hate that I can’t really talk about ideas fluently. They often get into my head, stay there for a while, gain some steam, and leave just as fast as it came. There is nothing better to me than getting a fresh idea and nothing worse than losing one.
The great thing about ideas is they make themselves available throughout the day. Each time you come into contact with something, you get the opportunity to have an idea appear. This process happens in the back ground (thank god) and the time can vary from idea to idea. I once had an idea pop up in my head months after walking in the Brooklyn Art Museum, I only remembered the origin of the idea when looking at a subway map (odd I know – have to love New York). These ideas come up quicker when you are uncomfortable, as if being uncomfortable was a tax for getting better ideas. Same with new experiences (which are often uncomfortable). I try to schedule in new activities through the week and see what sticks. Its fun.
That is all well and good, except ideas don’t mean anything at that point. The idea is imaginary. Value comes into turning that idea into reality. One of the ways to do that is through learning how to craft the idea into a story. Building a narrative with the idea keeps it in place. If you’re determined to work with that, I think it gets harder and harder to lose it. It gets harder and harder to lose that idea to the void. Sometimes it hurts, because growing hurts.It is easy being bad but learning how to deal with bad ideas puts you on the path of good ones.
It stands that I have to get better at telling them. Making those ideas stick, and putting them in places where they cannot leave so easily.
http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1&isUI=1
This is a great video from Louis CK on his trip to Russia as a young adult. The video , recorded at the Moth Ball last night an event that celebrates the power of story, displays Louis CK skill as a story teller. He won the 2015 Moth award as someone who trumpets the power of story.
It is powerful getting into someones head by story. We get to see the world through someone elses eyes. It is a blessing to turn off the brain sometimes and be entertained, to feel empathy, and gain perspective.
“Story is the only that you have that is only yours” – Louis C.K.
Story is very important to me.
I should define that story is not history. History is a line of facts, story is a narrative. Humans love narrative and computers love facts. As attached as we are to our cellphones, we are still human.
If you know your story well, and you can tell it with passion and warmth, I get excited. If you do it within an ear shot, I perk up. I being to think how you have your life together.
To be able to wring out what you do and have done in a time proper way lets me know how focused you are and how dedicated you are to whatever mission you have. It is a sign of strength, and I envy it.
The base of my envy comes from my lack of ability to do it. It’s all a jumbled mess.
When someone asks me – what do I do, I start to panic. I repeat it back as if the extra few seconds would allow me to untangle it all. What do I do? Can I phone a friend? Maybe there is something in my pocket that magically has the story for me. Unfortunately, nothings ever there and I remember that yes, the story is a jumbled mess.
That thought kept coming back at me when I looked at the front page of my website.The jumbled mess effects other parts of my life.
Questions such as:
What do I want?
Who do I want to become?
What have I done to get me there?
When I saw the front page of my website now it answered none of those questions. Even worse, I don’t show what I can give to people. There is no value add. My writing, my comedy, my leadership training, my decision-making, and my curiosity are no where on display. It is all kind of bland. It made me realize how important my story is. It is missing copy that extends that into something that makes sense.
I need to tell a story. Luckily for me, and my horrible story, is that there is still time for me to put it together.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 