two track – From the desk of Adam Thomas

I’ve spent this month learning from Jay Abraham.

I have the pleasure of spending two days a week listening to him and taking on homework assignments. They have been delightful trips full of insights.

One of the lessons that he hammers home, and one that took me years to get, was that people see the world differently.

It is in that difference where our biggest insights exist.

Often, we don’t bother to figure out the other person’s worldview. We trample through life, thinking that “what I see is what you get.”

This blindness is a recipe for two-track conversations.

The next time you find yourself in a conversation, instead of getting “straight to it,” take a moment to ask them how they are. Figure out the emotional layer of the discussion. Find out what the other person thinks is interesting about your conversation and the experience.

You might be surprised where the conversation ends up.

Acknowledge the Emotions

When we speak, we intend to have it perceived in a certain way. That is one track. If we are effective communicators, the message we send gets recognized the way we mean it too.

Effective communication is difficult and requires more than just making sure you use the “right words.” Emotions, among other things, have to be acknowledged as well.

Emotions are a layer on our perception and frame how we see the world.

If we don’t acknowledge them, our emotions can hijack a conversation. The hijacking happens subtly and creates what I call the two-track effect.

The two-track effect is when communication occurs between two parties, and they walk away from it with two wildly different perceptions of the outcome. At some point, effective communication stopped, and the message got on a different track then speaker thinks.

The two-track effect compounds. If left alone, it can destroy relationships and culture.