Tag: Understanding

I Trust That You Don’t Know

Post author By jrlsage
Post date February 20, 2016

I used to think I knew a lot

I based my personality in “the know.” I was proud. I built opinions on “knowing” things. I judged people on how “much they knew.” My religion was my perception of knowledge and I made sure you knew it. If you didn’t know anything then why were we talking. I needed to talk to people who were confident, and if you didn’t know you are scared since you didn’t pick a side.

I don’t think that way anymore. In fact, I go in the opposite direction. I am more impressed in what you don’t know. Anyone who tells me they don’t know something gains that much more credibility in my book, I am more apt to trust them, and get curious about who they are and what they do “know.”

What caused this change

Studying human psychology, philosophy and management shifted my thinking. Spending time digging into Jiddu Kristamurti, Peter Drucker, and David McRaney, along with the ancients like Confucius, Socrates, and Seneca, got me to understand that the minute you think you know, you stop thinking.

One of my biggest influence in this line of thought is Robert Anton Wilson

In fact, the two thoughts (thinking and knowing) are diametrically opposed. When you know you don’t question, and if you don’t question you don’t think. You can’t know a subject and think about it. Your brain has already created the model and the brain hates moving on from what it “knows.” Thinking takes a ton of energy, knowing doesn’t.

So why trust people who don’t know?

Saying you don’t know is a direct assault on the ego, and the starting point to think about every subject you don’t know about. When I hear that, I get comfortable because I know that we can start to talk, and maybe an opinion can change. Talking to someone who knows is like talking to a brick wall. It may feel better to scream at that wall, but you aren’t going to change the form.

Tags change, Chinese, don't know, Greece, i dont know, Indian, know, management, philosophy, psychology, question, romans, thinking, Understanding

Blog Post

Some Things Professionalism Is

Post author By jrlsage
Post date February 16, 2016

Professionalism has a wide berth

Yesterday I went over some byproducts of professionalism, but not professionalism itself. I did that because I am a huge fan of subtraction. Getting rid of the stuff around you is a great way to increase focus, and by focusing on what professionalism isn’t is a chance to increase the focus.

So, once you’ve read that post, take on this one.

The great thing about adding things with focus is that you can experiment. I’ve seen professionals in a lot of disciplines, and a lot of their habits are different. Since I have that experience, this is by no means an exhaustive list. There are just too many things I see professionals do. With that said, I consistently see these three behaviors.

These are the three behaviors

Rituals – Rituals get professionals in a mood to work. The great thing about rituals is that they are anything you want. Maya Angelou famously got a hotel room to sit in and work. Twyla Tharp gets a cab every morning to work out. George Gershwin wouldn’t take off his pajamas when he sat to compose. Rituals work – because they get you to execute without expending precious willpower. [Read this: Daily Rituals: How Artists Work]

Questions – Professionals question as often as they need. Questions bring understanding, allowing the professional to see boundaries. If you take what someone gives you without investigation and you allow fear to creep in and take over your decision-making (by not asking questions) then it’s the opposite of professional. [Read this: A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas]

Respect – Professionals use respect to build relationships. Respect people’s trust, time, and energy. Saying thanking, having gratitude, keeping negative energy away, and most importantly, listening all give professionals the chance to keep the people around him feeling and working well. [Read this: Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone]

It takes some time

I’ve had trouble with all three of those behaviors throughout my life. I am striving to add more professionalism in my life daily. They aren’t easy to maintain, especially when trouble strikes. I’ve noticed, though, if I follow those three things, I get through troubling situations with much less headache. To keep them up, through, I have to stay vigilant and recognize that when they do fall apart, how can I get back on and get back to work.

The great thing is, this isn’t an exhaustive list. Some professionals are big on calendars, some are big on assistants, some need to run every day, and some need to get some Call of Duty gaming time in. There are a ton of behaviors that make professionals tick. That gives you a wide berth to try things out, understand your own ticks, and build on this list to make your own professional chart.

But, there is no better place to start than the list above. If you want to become truly professional start here.

Tags consistency, development, drive, failure, Focus, Habit, listen, professional, professionalism, questions, respect, ritual, slip, Success, trust, Understanding, willpower

Blog Post

Do Consume Talk Principle – Putting It Together

Post author By jrlsage
Post date February 12, 2016

This week I wrote about three principles

Do – Go do. There is a wide chasm between people who just say they want to do it, those who go through the intellectual rigor, and those who actually execute. Anyone who does that has no choice but to become effective because operating comes with lessons, especially in failure. So, whatever you want to do, please, go and do.
Consume – What we digest is what we ultimately use to create our opinions. All ideas have a starting point. Nothing materializes out of thin air. What we consume physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually creates our ideas. Staying vigilant on what we digest is just as important as keeping an eye on what we do or who we talk to, because if our start is bad, then we doom the idea from the start (GIGO). The other thing to remember is that this is a limited resource. The outer limits are real, so guard what you know, and defend against taking on too much to soon,
Talk – The difference between understanding and ‘thinking you understand’ is huge. That gap remains large if you don’t talk about what you know to other people. Through talking, you get a chance to build understanding and catch up on ideas you thought you knew. Just watch out for your ego (it is going to want to stay safe).

I think these three things are the bedrock of learning and mastering any skill. This principle is open enough to try all disciplines. By doing, talking, and consuming things I get completely engaged. The skill becomes my world, meaning I can’t escape it since it consumes everything.

It also stands as a great measure of where my priorities are. If I look at my calendar and I don’t see those three principles during the week, then I know I get scattered. It is a steady heuristic for my focus, and if I look randomly, I can see just where it lies. Understanding my focus makes me more effective.

Tags calendar, consume, do, engagement, principle, talk, Understanding, working

Blog Post

Talk Principle

Post author By jrlsage
Post date February 8, 2016

Communication is key

When I was a kid, I was very shy. I spent most of my life being scared to express my ideas unless I thought it was absolutely necessary.I only talked if I had to and knew the answer. Silence was the easy way out, because it allowed me to hide. That shyness came from fear, and an assumption that everyone I met knew as much or more than I did. I thought I wouldn’t add anything to the conversation. My insecurity kept me from investing everything I had.

I didn’t realize it when, but I did myself a severe disservice. I didn’t understand that talking through ideas is one of the best ways of understanding if I knew them. I had to talk to see if I had it, and I had to trust the people around me would help if I didn’t get it right.

The talk principle

You have to have trust to start real dialogue.

If you know something, you know how to say it, and to borrow from Richard Feynman, say it in your own words. What better way to do that then through talking to people?

This is pretty tough because in most situations we are in, it is easy to shrink and hide. If we soak it up, sit in the back, and avoid the discussion, we get to walk out unscathed and fight another day. This is a double-edged sword, because since it is so effective, it gets easier to hide in future meetings. You create a cycle of comfort, hiding until you are absolutely certain you can’t lose. By waiting until we get it right, we miss opportunities to get to the point of understanding.

It is difficult, too because to feel comfortable, you have to trust people enough that they won’t leave you hanging out there.

Talking out ideas makes us stronger

The difference between understanding and ‘thinking you understand’ is huge. That gap remains large if you don’t talk about what you know to other people. Through talking, you get a chance to build understanding and catch up on ideas you thought you knew.

Tags conversation, personal, personal growth, relationships, talk, understand, Understanding

Blog Post

Positioning Matters – What You See Isn’t What You Get

Post author By jrlsage
Post date February 7, 2016

Positioning matters.

The one thing I love about good political drama on TV is that it shows this clearly through the fourth wall. “House of Cards” (Netflix) is especially good in the first season for giving viewers a bird’s-eye view on how much it matters on every decision.

If you have 13 hours, take a minute to watch, and see how Francis Underwood takes advantage of every room,every negotiation, and even every sentence with how he positions himself. He does it to force the other people to react, giving him a distinct advantage.

Now, take a step back and look at the news, and how they position themselves to dispense fear, or even more dubious, companies like Wal-Mart position themselves to victimhood (like they have with the minimum wage thing)

How you get to the table matters.

We like to think that our brain is able to discern the priority of things, and that we are able to see the things that don’t matter. We don’t. In fact, the most charming of us use this to manipulate. Moving something slightly to the left, a question inflected differently, or the right smile can lead us to our doom. This isn’t an intelligence issue. It goes deeper, to our instincts, which in some situations leave us high and dry.

So pay attention

We have limited willpower. It takes energy and time to try to see through little tricks. The best defense, though, is to try to understand that it is happening, and place yourself in the safest position possible. You don’t have to manipulate, but understand that sometimes the best defense is a great offense.

Get in the right positions, learn how to read the people around you, and know that what you see isn’t always what you get.

Tags frank underwood, house of cards, intrigue, politics, positioning, power dynamics, Understanding, willpower

Blog Post

The Noise

Post author By jrlsage
Post date January 30, 2016

How scary is it to run towards the noise?

We(human beings) don’t like to run towards the trouble. Most of our lives build on avoiding it. We live with warnings from several people, always telling us that the end of the world is near, especially if you decide to investigate whatever that noise is. Because of that, we end up growing a certain amount of cynicism towards the noise, and anyone who decides to try to figure it out. In turn, we soon become the people who warn others about the noise, creating a cycle.

It is a huge reason most of us feel trapped, even with no cage around us.

What is the noise?

It is something that is extremely hard to pinpoint, but something we all have. It’s the question we don’t want to ask out of fear of rocking the boat, or its the meeting we don’t want to deny because it’s a waste of time(and denying it would piss someone off), or the blog we swear we are going to write because the world needs to hear us.

The noise is what makes every human unique, and why if you know how to connect to it, every single conversation you have is interesting. That noise is the thing that makes us unique.

I think we all have a noise inside of us but kids showcase it the best.

It doesn’t have to end though

It’s very active when we are young. That noise compels us to ask questions, explore, and talk to anyone. It leads us down roads often considered “odd.” I think kids make us smile because we see it, and we think it is alright for them to have it. It doesn’t hurt us to see someone so young with it, because they don’t remind us of ourselves yet. They are free.

But later on, we tell them to kill it, to fit in, to “act right.” They miss out on the grand insight from it, and it only gets to come out at random intervals of inspiration.

It’s a shame, because it usually grants great innovation. But luckily, it’s never to late.

Start listening.

Tags design, development, faith, growth, kids, Noise, play, trapped, Understanding

Blog Post

The “Millennials Problem” – aka YOU DONT NEED PING PONG TABLES

Post author By jrlsage
Post date January 24, 2016

Whenever there is a perceived problem, you can find a perceived expert.

I realized this one day when I was in my VP’s office, discussing a class he just took. I was looking at a packet that named “Millennials and You”, and I had this shocked look on my face.

Not only because I didn’t know my generation required an after school special title for a class, but this class was given by an elite school (I won’t name it, but if someone came to you with a degree from this place, you would pay to listen to them, regardless of age)

I didn’t know my generation was so difficult to figure out. especially since every person my age wants the same things.

The packet made things way more complicated

I would have laughed reading that packet, if I wasn’t so shocked. First the class had two Ph.D’s, both ivy league educated, both being “experts”. They had graphs and charts, a Powerpoint presentation, and the backing of that elite school. Looking at the front, I expected to learn something from reading that packet.

After going through it, I realized that my VP and company just got hustled. I recognized this when my VP started talking about ping-pong tables and white boards all over the walls.

I grew up around millennials, and I never, ever heard of a go-getter (I know a lot of them) ever say they need more ping-pong tables.

They are attacking the wrong problem. They focus on millennials, but the issue attacks every employee they have.

First, the context

What this class, my VP, and I am betting, everyone else who swears the problem is with the new, young people they work with is missing is the context of the world.

The gold watch era is gone. Millennials grew up watching the last few generations have fleeting security, and as outsiders, noticed how the perks changed with each passing year. I’ve watched the layoffs. People I’ve known all my life got a pink slip just to get a better bottom line. The market matured into a free agent based system.

We heard the complaints. And millennials just internalized the free agent market. We realized that we aren’t going to get taken care of, and the best don’t feel safe for a moment.

With lack of safety, comes lack of engagement

The numbers bare this out. There isn’t a millennial engagement problem, there is a problem with the entire workforce. The gun comes under the new people, because they are bold enough to question, and are a little louder with the dissent.

The truth is, everyone is, some just keep quiet.

So, what I told my VP, and what I am telling you, the reader, now is that you don’t need professors taking thousands of dollars to “teach” you about your youngest employees. All you need to do is work on the engagement issue – meaning, listen.

What you will find is that it isn’t just a problem with the younger group, there are issues all through the workforce. We are all scared. work on the fear, and magically, you find all the millennials working hard (because everyone will) .We all want the same things, meaningful work, a decent pay check, some vacation time, and most importantly, someone to hold us accountable while making sure we aren’t alone. Does that sound familiar?

No ping-pong tables required.

Tags games, growth, leaning, millenials, ping pong, right question, sleep, teaching, Understanding, wrong question

Blog Post

Scarcity is comfortable, thats why we choose it.

Post author By jrlsage
Post date January 14, 2016

This is a hard pill to swallow

We grew up being told one day we could all “be president” but as soon as that speech was over, given reminders to get “realistic”.

What the term “realistic” hides is scarcity. Scarcity is telling us not to reach so far, not to stand out, not to make too much of a ruckus.

I hate it, and I feel we kill our inner self every time we use it. The question is why do we do it? I think we do it because its comfortable, we decide to live with the “get realistic” ideals of scarcity because its easier to keep yourself trapped then to risk your ego by going out on your own.

The reason I hate it so much is because I am as guilty of it as anyone I know.

Abundance vs scarcity

When we are younger, we learn to hold on to what we have. It isn’t a problem to keep a hold of something. In fact, it’s seen at as a way to win through life. Keep your head down, keep what you have, when its safe, get more.

That’s scarcity.

Taking the next step, trusting your skill, knowing the world has more. Learning to get involved, to count, to matter.

That’s Abundance.

Failure comes in both directions, but you have to ask yourself, which failure sounds more interesting?

But we are comfortable with scarcity

We begin to blame everything and everyone for that fear, but truthfully, its our own demons. Our communities are comfortable with the idea, so saying things like “it pays the bills” or “its a job” makes perfect sense to people.

But, greatness, and understanding scratches that itch. That doesn’t come with being safe. We have to try for more, get uncomfortable with it.

Tags abundance, fear, learning, scarcity, sleep, Understanding, work

Blog Post

Janurary … A Great Time for Questions

Post author By jrlsage
Post date January 1, 2016

Questions are scary

When I get nervous, usually there is a question lurking in me that I desperately want answered, but I am too scared to think about. So, most of my life I didn’t ask them. Internally I thought it better to live with the shame of not standing up then deal with the “problems” that come with asking.

I recognize that I missed out on a lot of opportunities because of that fear.

So, I start the year trying to understand questions. I recognize there is an art here. There are good and bad questions. There are also good and bad environments, recipients, and people who ask. This month I want to explore these things.

This monthly theme ties into communication

At the end of last year I wrote a post that resulted in me picking 5 themes for 2016. They are the guiding light(strategic) for my ideas. Each month on this blog, I break things down into the practical (tactical). This year I want to tie both together, so each month, I have to write the reason they connect.

The art of questions connect to communication as the gate to higher level discussion. As much as we communicate through our words and bodies, it doesn’t mean much if there is no connection to the other side. Questions are that bridge that allows us to know what the other person is thinking, and what it means to the context of our existence.

Reread candidate

A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas by Warren Berger – I chose this because it does a deep dive in the ideas of questions. Its even in the title. What I got the first time reading this is how set up we are when it comes to not asking questions, how we get trained in being defensive, and how powerful they are.

Other candidates

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours

Seeking Wisdom: From Darwin To Munger

Ctrl Alt Delete: Reboot Your Business. Reboot Your Life. Your Future Depends on It.

Questions

How do I ask them in daily?
How often should I do it, when do I decide “is it worth it?”
How do I deal with experiments?
How do I react when someone else asks?
What do I need to do to improve my ability to ask?

Subthemes

Experimentation – Questions aren’t just spoken, they are also projects, i.e. experiments. So how do I approach them?
Note taking – Good questions come with preparation. My Note taking skills need examination.
Vulnerability – Questions are scary and leave you on a limb. How do I deal with that vulnerability without losing my head?

Tags 2016, Communication, intro, January, month, monththeme, questions, reread list, Understanding, work

Blog Post

Life As Usual Vlog #4 – Lessons and Message

Post author By jrlsage
Post date December 5, 2015

Every week I do a video blog (of VLOG). This week I talked about rest.

When I started this, I was very scared of putting myself on video, so I got the courage and put myself in the arena, killing a lot of bad self talk.This gives me the chance to work on my communication skills, start a new medium, and experiment!

Once a week, after I have thought about them, I will give them a day here on the blog.

These aren’t just promotion posts (although they are, please watch and share 🙂 ) I want to take the time to break them down and try to clarify what I want to communicate and the tactical things I learned through doing.

If you enjoyed the video, and if you want to get on the ride, please, subscribe to the YouTube channel, and join the Facebook page where they post every Sunday night.

What I Wanted To Communicate About Rest

Rest is important. We often put it off, relying on the idea that “you sleep when your dead”. This puts us at a serious disadvantage. Our minds don’t grow when we don’t let them recharge.

I hit on three bullet points

Slowing down at work to give yourself the mental room to deal with new, different types of stress
Volunteering, allows you to rest some of the other muscles you train often (through work).
Sleep. We often don’t get enough of it.

What I Learned Doing This Video

Don’t use auto focus, it makes the picture jarring (Thanks Wale!)
I can use editing software on my phone to learn the basics.
It’s ok to cut things up, and make mistakes. Better to go long then to go short.

If you enjoyed the video, and if you want to get on the ride, please, subscribe to the YouTube Channel, and join the Facebook page where they post every Sunday night.

Tags Communication, lessons, rest, sleep, slowing down, subscribe, Understanding, video, volunteering, youtube