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If You Are Losing Focus, Add Weight

I don’t go to the gym as much as I should, but when I am there, I love to see the level of focus.

When you are on the bench press, lifting 250 pounds, you find laser focus when there is a chance that the weight will fall on your neck. You’d better put all your attention on that bar. There is no time to talk to anyone that isn’t on your team. You aren’t turning your head to talk about the weather or the San Antonio Spurs, it’s either about this bar or nothing. When the focus is there, and the team is right, the person who is lifting can do things they didn’t think possible, all while getting stronger in the process.

Here is the rub: if the weight on the bar is light enough them to do it while not needing that focus, then they effectively have wasted their time. It might look good to other people, but since you need to focus and your muscles find it easy enough to lift without thought, then you don’t get stronger and you didn’t prove anything.

In life, if you find a lack of focus taking over your life, perhaps its time to add weight? Lean into a project a little more, get a little more vulnerable, call someone you don’t want to speak to do something that pushes your chips further into the table. Put the bar over your neck* and see if you lift. You might surprise yourself…

*Like at the gym, its best to do this with a spotter, or maybe a few of them. If it is too much, call for help. 

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Cleaning Up

Pressure is on now.

I wrote 1000 words yesterday. That is the limit I want to set as an everyday exercise. I figure 1000 words would be able to get me over the hump as a writer, and allow me to start working the muscles that a writer should have.

I started this exercise because I figured that being a writer would help all parts of me life. Even if I didn’t publish anything, getting into the habit of producing one thing a day, regardless of how tired I was, or depressed, would help me become a better communicator and a better person.

It is working, I feel like I am making moves in a lot of places in my life. I am becoming more efficient in my time management, I have better jokes, and even my performance at work is getting better.

I figure if I just keep this up, stay with 1000 words a day, until it becomes normal, I will be able to produce things that will show my creativity, and also allow me to make the mistakes I need to make to be able to live on my own, and keep myself financially stable as a creative.


Met my limit in terms of spending money yesterday. I don’t like drinking as much anymore, especially since my tolerance is so high. I hate to say it, drinking at a bar isn’t fun unless you feel the buzz coming, and for me, I have to spend money to get that going.

I would like it for me to just relax and be able to drink one or two drinks like the rest of the world, but its becoming obvious to me that isn’t going to happen.

I wonder if it would just be best if I just stopped. No more drinking, no more burden on my wallet, just whatever I have.

I don’t know if I need to stop just cold turkey – no more drinking anything, even if it was free or anything like that. But it is something I am giving some serious thought to. I can’t just spend 50 bucks on liquor and walk out of the bar feeling like nothing happened.

What is the point f living if you don’t feel alive…so to speak. If I am not getting buzzed, why spend the money.


I have to breakdown what I do with my time. It seems like I could be maximizing what I do. I don’t quite know where my time is going, and that bothers me.

A lot of this has to do with two things I want to do on a daily basis, just to get those muscles going and built to the point they should be.

Those two things are programming (designing and building code) and reading. That 500 page thing is where I need to be when i decide to go it alone, if for no other reason, I see people are willing to put in that type of time into anything. Bringing up the 500 page thing to anyone, and they dismiss it. When the masses see to dismiss something that is more or less positive, it usually just means they don’t want to do the work to build the muscle to make the action possible.

Warren Buffet is a really intelligent man. He is a very wealthy man. He is even current, considering he is older than this brownstone I live in. I want to be there later in life. That seems to be the road to get to it.

Designing code is also something I really want to do. I have been slacking because I don’t do code school as much. I completed several courses, but I need to get finished with the rest. Then I need to build things.

One thing that needs to be done is Phil’s website. I also should start lending my services to other comedians, just for some quick bucks on the side, and to get some work out there into the world.

All money I get could just simply go to the comedian fund, and 300 bucks a head could really make that number jump.

I just have to add those two pieces to my day, like I do this writing. Three headed monster.


I want to start playing basketball on the weekends. To make that part of my day, to get some physical exercise in.

I need to get back into sports, and that will keep me fresh in the mornings, and get my brain working so my weekends aren’t quite wasted. I want o build that competitive edge and get my endurance up. Frankly, I am tired of walking up stairs in subways and breathing hard.

My size is becoming a problem. I do feel myself slipping on the 16/8 thing. Instead of eating healthier, I have been eating fast food in the 16/8 window, which doesn’t really help anything in terms of weight loss and being healthier.

The vegetable juice move has to happen sooner than later. I also need to start using more vegetables and pure meat into my meals. I have to cut down on the fried food. Yesterday I had fried catfish and mac and cheese. That has got to end.

In my head, I know these things are possible. I could even have a better build by the end of the summer if I work now and stop feeding myself bad and even stop drinking.

I want to be there, so I have to get there. Pretty simple when you think about it.


Been growing my hair for the last 2 months. I don’t quite know what do to with it though. I like it where it is. I like having that big bushy thing up there that grows uncontrollably.

But, what do I do with it after a certain point? Will it become an afro? Does it stay the way it is? I’ve grown my hair out before, and it ends up kind of super curled like it is now.

Who knows? It stays for now.

Do: Push Ups, Wrap Up, 3 Things, CPAP,16/8
Don’t: Meditation Vegetable Juice Water Thank You To Do

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Slimming Saturday

Big surprise yesterday

A pair of pants I had fit way better. I was surprised, but only after about a week of the 16/8 thing, my clothes are fitting me better.

I am not even doing the no-carb portion of the deal.

This bodes well for it, getting tangible results. I was looking at a picture of a comedian I had worked with in the past, named Matt Kazam. He was a pretty big guy, and decided to lose weight. He took another way to get it done, as he chose juicing but the results have been undeniable, as he has lost almost 100 pounds in 4 months.

I am really considering that once I get the 16/8 philosophy down. It is almost habit at this point, and with the positive motion, I can see myself going further with it.

I have a dream of being a slimmer guy. I want to be around to experience my grand kids, and not being overweight. It would be a great feeling.

I would love to shop in normal stores again, and get normal sizes, and all that good stuff. Being a big dude in my life has resulted in me having to go online or to another part of the store, and hoping that they had it in my size. It sucked, quite simply. That is part of my motivation too, getting there.

I don’t want to be the fat kid forever.I want to give my personality a break. Ha.

It was painful typing that part, but it initiated my zone for a second. And I think that’s all i want. I just want to write the truth. Get into my feelings a little bit. the more I meander, the more I sort of dawdle on the page, and the words sort of sit there.

I was reading Anne Lamont and in the book Bird by Bird, she talks about letting the kid come out in your writing, and I think that’s what it is. For me, maybe my kids lock is honesty and pain, and from there, I can write a thousand words an hour to get to the actual truth.
I feel like it is coming.


I did over 30 minutes of material on stage yesterday, and it felt good. It is a slow reminder that I actually have jokes, and I can hang for a long period of time. Not only that, I did it in a room of comics, and I had their attention. No one went to their phones, or walked out, or went to go take a quick glance of their notes, I was ale to just run.

I really felt like a comic yesterday, even if it was in a basement with 4 other comics and two audience members. I felt like there was some room to grow there, and become someone who can actually matter int his show business thing.

With that said, I still need to focus on getting that dynamite five minutes. If I can do that, I feel like the rest will fall into place. The long sets are for personality, but the shorter sets are for writing.

As Alonzo said, you don’t have a lot of time up there to let them get to know you, so o better kill and kill hard. It is that time to show the bookers and the managers of the club that you are worth investing in your personality. If you can clean it up that way, then you can build out from there and get the great 15 and then the great feature set.

That open mic in the basement helps though. Gotta thank Tino for giving that space for me to grow.

16/8 done
Water Drunk
3 Things Written
Plotting Not Done
Shower Done
Sunday Organizing Done.

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