Professional strategists use the questions “why” and “where” to start an inquiry instead of “what” and “how.”
Why?
“Why” and “where” tells you about the other side.
“What” and “how” work on assumptions.
Understanding the “other side” gives you insight that helps build better assumptions.
The inverse isn’t true.
Ask the right questions and get make better decisions.
It is easy to under share.
What is under sharing? “Under sharing” is when we don’t give enough context about a project. It’s when we hide because of fear(they should know so I better not) or expectation(they should know so I won’t).
Under sharing destroys working relationships. Why? Just because we under share doesn’t mean we “under expect,“ which leaves both sides at a loss.
It easily leads to:
For example, say a critical project comes to your desk. You decide to put one of your sharpest people on it. You have high expectations, and you expect this person to get through.
The last time, on a “regular” project, they didn’t need context and knocked it out of the park. You decide that they don’t need it here too. Besides, that might insult his or her intelligence. I mean, they should know, right? Aren’t you busy enough?
Wrong. At best, you’ve just handicapped a competent person, at worse, doomed them to fail.
You have to direct and give them a chance to win.
A way to force yourself to do this is to add two items to whatever medium with how you communicate.
Those two things: expectations and “why” step out of the instruction and focus entirely on context.
i.e.
Don’t fall into the trap of under sharing.
Decision making is difficult, but when it happens, I’ve realized that I get better with focus. Putting my energy into something, especially with the “Do-Talk-Consume” principle, really digs deep. My life becomes engrossed in whatever discipline I choose. But, to pick that thing, I have to decide, and decisions come with a level of fear I don’t get when I decide to live with no boundaries.
We can’t do everything for everybody. Time is the only resource we have, and the only way we get to make that time count is if we sit down and work through the above fears. Each one of the questions runs through our minds when we decide to give something focus because we start abstaining from “all that life has to offer.” There is an opportunity cost with everything – things we accept and things we don’t. The fear boils down to that. The greatest truth is, we only have time. We have to make decisions to make that time count.
Note: The bold questions are the biggest offenders to me.
Doesn’t take much effort.
Just run.
Don’t think.
Don’t apologize
Don’t empathize, just run.
Find a place where you get small, take off anything shiny, and don’t say anything. By the time the smoke clears, you have hidden, and the big mean problem goes away. No more questions, the world levels off and you are soon able to go back to your disposition. If that means a sunny world and no problems, well – that is what you get, a sunny world with no problems.
But, if you want to stand for something, this isn’t an option.
The alternative is to sit there and take it. Don’t run, don’t hide. You have to sit there and think about what you did, how you want to apologize, and empathize with the disruption you caused. You have to put yourself squarely in the crosshairs and take responsibility. The smoke is hazy, and sometimes, the issue won’t just go away.
You might get scarred, and it’s going to hurt.
Getting scarred sounds painful, and there are no brownie points. But it is worth it.because if you are in a place that favors how things look instead of how things are, you might suffer even more*.
The reason, though, if you want to stand for something, is that you are able to stand up and be counted. Leaders, true leaders, see where people claim responsibility. You stand out, because the world is short on people who are willing to try, and even shorter on people who after they try, are willing to stand and say, “This didn’t work and here is why.”
The most successful people I know understand this and do this well. There is no reason why you aren’t one of them.
Note: Don’t confuse this with martyrdom, which often serves nothing but the ego. We are talking about real responsibility.
* Runnnnnnnnnn
So, these are five questions I think professionals ask themselves when they start anything.
If you match this with a few why’s, then going through with the project gets easier.
On my commute this morning I started thinking about the word why. It is an interesting word.
I find that this word can cause wars, break up families, and create general havoc in anyones life. Asking why too much is a sin to some people, as we never ask it. Everything that is in the system for us to understand tells us to comply and reform, instead of question and respond. It can open painful wounds. It can destroy the soft fabrics of our rationalizations.
In those same three words you can find the inverse. Why is constructive when implemented with an open mind. It allows us to see our own flaws and build out ways to mitigate them. Instead of sitting on a world where people just react, we can respond to a crisis with enough knowledge about ourselves and the event to make an informed decision.
It takes courage to use the word, especially since it goes against most things we have learned since childhood. It is that courage, that gets us to our greatest potential.
From the desk of Adam Thomas 