Tag: willpower

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“Grinding It Out” is Nonsense

Mountains move you; you don’t move them

The greatest seduction our ego places on us is the idea that we can move mountains by sheer force of will.

What do I mean by that?

We trick ourselves into believing that we can dismiss our environment, our schedules, our context and make changes. That it just takes us pushing through and “grinding it out.”

This idea is nonsense and a big reason why we fail when we promise.

Want an example?

How is your New Years resolution going?

The reason these things don’t change is that you aren’t thinking about the structure of your life, you are only thinking about the result.

We aren’t robots, so we don’t just follow commands.  We are more like water, flowing by the structure around us.

When forced, water can get through anything.

Our “willpower” is perfect for that. In an emergency, we can pull an “all nighter” or run away from a monster.

When things are calm though, expect to fall back into the structure of your life. The rivers eventually recede after every flood.

The next time you make a change, take a moment to think about the structure of your life and that promise. I promise you your chance of success will rise.

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Practice the Right Way Every Time

You play how you practice

Every time you decide to practice a skill, you develop muscle memory. Your body learns how to react through the repetitions it goes through.

That is why it’s important to practice how you play. 

If you decide to practice sloppily, any time you have to “play” you have to think about the “proper” way to do it.

Each action starts to cost you willpower. 

You have limited willpower.

If you practice a certain way, it isn’t a matter of if that way is appearing when it counts, it’s a matter of when.

If the right way is natural, then that way will show up when it counts.

So practice how you want to play. You’ll love it when the stakes are “real.”

And you can save that willpower for a courageous act (art), instead of just keeping afloat (survival).

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Our Willpower Is Limited, Best To Not Push It (Thoughts on Feb. 2016)

Intentional Scarcity is Difficult

The biggest thing I realized this month is that saying no, even when you want to, is hard. Saying no when you don’t want to is almost impossible, unless there are the right conditions. We have limited willpower and we often underestimate the limit we have.  Also, each option and decision we have saps the supply of willpower. So, it is incredibly important to pick your spots because unless you don’t have a choice, you will fail if you try to change too much at once.  If you do fail, its important to manage the failure, understand what happened, and move forward.

I also learned that starting with nothing is best. The more tools you buy, the more monumental the task becomes. Even buying something like running shoes adds expectations to the task. That expectation adds pressure, and unless you are directing that pressure (accountability practices) you want to avoid as much of it as possible.  So, keep things simple, especially when you want to start something drastically different.   If you want to write, just start a Tumblr or WordPress. If you want to do videos, just shoot them on your camera and upload them to YouTube. Start working out with just one push-up.  By being intentionally scarce you remove pressure and increase the chance that you will follow through.

Biggest Lesson – Saying no is extremely difficult when your willpower is low, so pick your targets and take away options when you can.

My Correct Assumptions

  • There is a cap on Willpower

My Incorrect Assumptions

  • Defaulting to abundance with free time, I default to nothing, and that is helpful.
  • I should start a new habit by buying things first.

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Some Things Professionalism Is

Professionalism has a wide berth

Yesterday I went over some byproducts of professionalism, but not professionalism itself. I did that because I am a huge fan of subtraction. Getting rid of the stuff around you is a great way to increase focus, and by focusing on what professionalism isn’t is a chance to increase the focus.

So, once you’ve read that post, take on this one.

The great thing about adding things with focus is that you can experiment. I’ve seen professionals in a lot of disciplines, and a lot of their habits are different. Since I have that experience, this is by no means an exhaustive list. There are just too many things I see professionals do. With that said, I consistently see these three behaviors.

These are the three behaviors

Rituals – Rituals get professionals in a mood to work. The great thing about rituals is that they are anything you want. Maya Angelou famously got a hotel room to sit in and work. Twyla Tharp gets a cab every morning to work out.  George Gershwin wouldn’t take off his pajamas when he sat to compose. Rituals work – because they get you to execute without expending precious willpower. [Read this: Daily Rituals: How Artists Work]

Questions – Professionals question as often as they need. Questions bring understanding, allowing the professional to see boundaries.  If you take what someone gives you without investigation and you allow fear to creep in and take over your decision-making (by not asking questions) then it’s the opposite of professional. [Read this: A More Beautiful Question: The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas]

Respect – Professionals use respect to build relationships. Respect people’s trust, time, and energy. Saying thanking, having gratitude, keeping negative energy away, and most importantly, listening all give professionals the chance to keep the people around him feeling and working well.   [Read this: Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone]



It takes some time


I’ve had trouble with all three of those behaviors throughout my life.  I am striving to add more professionalism in my life daily. They aren’t easy to maintain, especially when trouble strikes. I’ve noticed, though, if I follow those three things, I get through troubling situations with much less headache. To keep them up, through, I have to stay vigilant and recognize that when they do fall apart, how can I  get back on and get back to work.


The great thing is, this isn’t an exhaustive list. Some professionals are big on calendars, some are big on assistants, some need to run every day, and some need to get some Call of Duty gaming time in. There are a ton of behaviors that make professionals tick.  That gives you a wide berth to try things out, understand your own ticks, and build on this list to make your own professional chart.


But, there is no better place to start than the list above. If you want to become truly professional start here.  


 


		


	


	

		
		


			

		


		
	


	






	



	


		
			

				
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Positioning Matters – What You See Isn’t What You Get

		


			

		


		
	





	


		


			
Positioning matters.


The one thing I love about good political drama on TV is that it shows this clearly through the fourth wall. “House of Cards” (Netflix) is especially good in the first season for giving viewers a bird’s-eye view on how much it matters on every decision.


If you have 13 hours, take a minute to watch, and see how Francis Underwood takes advantage of every room,every negotiation, and even every sentence with how he positions himself. He does it to force the other people to react, giving him a distinct advantage.


Now, take a step back and look at the news, and how they position themselves to dispense fear, or even more dubious, companies like Wal-Mart position themselves to victimhood (like they have with the minimum wage thing)


How you get to the table matters.


We like to think that our brain is able to discern the priority of things, and that we are able to see the things that don’t matter. We don’t. In fact, the most charming of us use this to manipulate.  Moving something slightly to the left, a question inflected differently, or the right smile can lead us to our doom. This isn’t an intelligence issue. It goes deeper, to our instincts, which in some situations leave us high and dry.


So pay attention


We have limited willpower. It takes energy and time to try to see through little tricks.  The best defense, though, is to try to understand that it is happening, and place yourself in the safest position possible.  You don’t have to manipulate, but understand that sometimes the best defense is a great offense.


Get in the right positions, learn how to read the people around you, and know that what you see isn’t always what you get.


 


		


	


	

		
		


			

		


		
	


	






	



	


		
			

				
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What Steph Curry Teaches Me About Confidence Willpower and Preparedness

		


			

		


		
	





	


		


			
confidence


The ball isn’t going to fall every time


Steph Curry, known as the best shooter in the NBA, now holds a field goal(baskets made) percentage of 48%.


That guy that you see on Sportscenter every night making that basket fall, doesn’t make it half the time. And he is the best.


Confidence, Preparedness, Willpower


So, how does he make it look easy? First, he feels like every shot is going to go in. He has confidence that he will make everything he shoots, and he only hits it half the time. He knows that it wont, but he feels that it is. He decides to have real confidence in himself, every time he launches one of those threes that get our attention on the highlight. How did he get there? Being ready.


Preparedness lead him to the that confidence. He has practiced his shot since he was extremely young. His father, also a great NBA shooter, had him doing pregame warmup at 7 years old. He keeps that prepared attitude before games, as you see him always working on that shot.




He never rests on his laurels either, even in practice, taking every opportunity.




How does he keep that up, even as the best? Will.


It’s easy to rest when people are calling you the best. It’s easy to slack off, take the endorsement deals, go to the club, get the contract and cruise. The problem with all that, is that you don’t stay the best. People often get this flipped. They think its easy to go into the gym when you are the man, but often, that’s when you fall under the most pressure.


You aren’t going to win all the time, so keep hustling


The idea above is that even with all that training, Steph doesn’t even make half of his shots. You have to keep pushing. The idea of winning every time is a dangerous one, and stops us from experimenting. Once we got some experimentation down, the ideas of confidence, preparation, and will move us further down the line.


Don’t lean on perfection. Keep shooting, and you could cook too.


 


 


 


		


	


	

		
		


			

		


		
	


	



	




			

		





	

		

	

		
		

		
		



		
	


			
		
		
	




 


		 	
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