Tag: work

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Stop Them at the Ask

You can’t just say “no” to everyone.

It’s hard to say no to certain people. They usually come with titles such as “manager,” “CEO,” or “mom.”

As Bob Dylan sang, “We all have to serve somebody.” And the dynamics at play won’t allow an outright “no.”

That being said, these people want the best for you because it is in their best interest. Your success helps them look good and meet their goals. To work at your best, you have to say “no” to some things.

But, you are in the odd place of not being able to say “no” directly.

How can you navigate that?

I have an exercise that can help with this conundrum.

Exercise:

The plan is to ask to rank their needs and with that, get the prioritization to get the “no” you are looking for in any environment where you have to deal with an authoritative structure (i.e. the office)

  • When the “ask” happens, return the favor by asking a few questions:
    • What is the priority, on a 1 -10 basis?
    • When do you need this by?
    • What resources are available for this?
  • Say what you need to get her (the boss) away, and have an email ready that asks those questions again, along with a list of your current projects.
  • Ask where you want her to slot that new ask, and if any of this is can come off your “plate.”

 This exercise “stops them as they ask,” giving people the opportunity to redirect energy and remind them of what is important (something we all could use) at the same time.  It saves your energy so you can focus on what matters.

Win-win. 

 

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A Way to Tell

It’s on your mind.

There is a topic to discuss. Often, I see (and do) one of two things.

  • Hold my tongue. We decide to spare the person what we need to tell them, and we get frustrated.
  • Blurt it out. The point wraps around emotion, and it obstructs how the other person could understand.

Both actions leave both parties confused, and when combined, i.e. someone blurting something out then holding their tongue because they didn’t like the result, it can lead to disaster.

How do we get out of this devastating loop?

Here is an exercise.

Exercise:

  • Write down what you need to tell someone.
  • Close your eyes, imagine you are in the shoes of the other person. What is important to them?
  • Look back at your “tell:” how does it address something that is important to them?
  • Simplify. How can you make that tell as simple as possible, while addressing what’s important to them?
  • Rewrite what you plan on telling them with this information.

 

 

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Ask Selfish Questions

Have you asked a question just for you today?

Questions like:

  • What do I have to do to make this happen?
  • So, how I understand this is… is that right?
  • When do I need to show up?

These are “selfish” questions and are great if you feel stuck. As much as they focus on you, they allow one clarity to start working on the right things.

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Run With the Lions

Being forced in a lion’s den is a blessing.

Hear me out.

In Christian mythology, the most “devout” Christians in Rome would be offered as a sacrifice. They had a chance to escape the lions den if they converted. So, the trouble in which they found themselves made them consider their belief and mortality.

Nothing creates focus like stakes. They had skin in the game.

If one attempts creative work, chances are they are going to find themselves in this predicament. The “Romans” might throw you into the lions den for not converting.*

Even if it’s metaphorically the same, the stakes aren’t as high. The thing is our brain doesn’t know the difference. It still thinks we are headed to a lion’s mouth, al dente.

The thing is there are no lions other than our fears, and by not letting them eat us up, we still get the benefits of the focus on how we really feel.

*It might be worth your time to convert

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Wake Up & Refresh Because Sleep Is Work

Good Morning

Did you know your brain isn’t sleeping when you are?

Wait what…?

Essentially, it’s doing this:

Remember this screen growing up, and locked up your PC? Well…this is sleep.

Sleep is work.

Maybe I’ve always known that since I never was a morning person. If I did anything before 9 AM it was special (or a living requirement…I’ll get up to pay my rent, and even that was a challenge).

But, until recently, I never acted on the information. I’ve gotten up with the sun over the last few weeks more often than not by recharging after all that sleep work.

How do I recharge after getting such a “sleep workout?”

 

  • Fuel – I keep a bottle of water by my bed and try to drink a bunch as soon as my alarm goes off.
  • Physical – Quick body weight (push-ups, squats, and sit-ups) exercises every morning after the water.
  • Mental – This blog, every morning (when it comes late I never quite feel right).

I am full of energy before the day begins.  Good morning!

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When It Rains, It Pours…

“Flooding” is bad for your health and sanity.

In the book “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”, the authors describe “flooding” as the psychological event that multiplies the impact of a negative feeling. For example, “flooding” is when you find that the printer isn’t working and somehow that feeling becomes everyone here at the office hates me.

Yes, I’ve seen that example happen. It also may have been me.

When I notice the oncoming “flood” happening there are three things that help me get out of it.

  • Breathe – watch your breath, let things settle. Exercise is good here too.
  • Get context – Write out everything that is happening to you and read it back. The printer broke, not you.
  • Get thankful – The fact that you zipped up your pants before you left the house? That’s a win.

Floods are going to happen based on your disposition. I know a lot of creatives are on the “open” side of that scale, meaning we tend to “flood” more often. It’s OK when it happens, it’s human, but the key is to not stay there. 

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Just Get Up And Move

Switch it up

Soon after the high of getting a project off the ground goes away, you land in something I like to call “the boring.”

There, in “the boring” it’s easy to get lost.

I look at being lost as an opportunity to take a look at your environment.

Where you work is often as important as what you work you do. If you are working in the same place, around the same environment everyday there is a chance that it factors in to that feeling of “lossness,” or the feeling that nothing really matters.

You are susceptible when you get to the point of your project where the quick victories don’t happen. In the beginning of making a blog, its easy to get signed up, but as you finish the early work and get to writing, getting from 5 readers to 50 can take some time.

So, what I’m saying is take a chance.  Grab everything and move to Austin.

I’m kidding. But seriously, take the work you are doing and put it in a different place.

  • Take your laptop to that coffee shop down the street
  • Go to a park while you think
  • Find the local library

Some places work better than your desk and some work worse, but a new place gives you an opportunity to give your work new energy and make “the boring” less sucky.

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My Phone… Get Away From Me.

How much sleep do you get

I overestimate and under value the sleep I get.

This happens because I count the hours in bed as the hours of sleep. The thing is, for an hour before I go to sleep and an hour I wake up, I am not asleep.

My phone has to get the “cycle.”

The cycle is  texts, emails, “Boom Beach,” and social media I can fit in before I start to feel tired or there is nothing less. Then I allow myself to put on some music and go to sleep.

I know intellectually that this isn’t good for me, but I still do it.

Last year I wrote about not taking my cell phone to work, and the changes it made.

This month, I am removing my cell phone from my bed room before bed.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

 

 

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Hyper and Hypo Work

It’s hard for me to do “righteous work.”

What do I mean?

“Righteous work” is about being content with the work you are doing. Getting tired, but not exhausted. Taking chances, but not with reckless abandon. When its done, you feel right.

The other kinds of work I do happen to show mental fatigue.Too much fatigue and I get away from righteous work.

It becomes either:

Hyper Work – “workaholic” syndrome. Long hours, over thinking, overdoing. For example, if I am writing something, and the goal is 500 words, I do 1500.

OR

Hypo Work – “avoidance” syndrome. Short hours, under thinking, under doing. For example, if I am writing something, and the goal is 500 words, I do 200.

Either way, I get consumed by fear, and constantly question my work.

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One Cure For “Stuckness”

What can you do when you feel stuck?

Make a promise and keep it.

Do the work when you say it.

Show up when you say you will.

Ultimately, your reputation exists based on the initiative you take.  Find a path that gives you enough responsibility to put your name on the line and come through when you say you will.

Interesting doors open from there.

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