Tag: writing

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Make Decisions: Write it Down

Make your decisions on paper before telling them to others

I once heard that there is always 10% more “good” work than you can do.

Why?

Life comes at you fast. We have a ton of inputs that shapes our decisions. There is always something to do and a process to change.

If we allow it, we can change our minds until the cows come home, because we want to do impactful work.

Change seems to make this possible.

That is why we have to write our decisions down when we get to a possible conclusion.

There are several benefits:

Colin Powell once said you should act when you reach 70% of the information because 100% is a pipe dream.

I agree.

Get things out of your head to make things happen, because if you let a decision live there, you’ll spend more time working it out there than in the world. 

 

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Don’t Just Jump In: Outline First

Outline it all; it saves you time.

When I:

  • Sit down to write: I want to write it all out at once.
  • Start a business: I want to put together quickly the partnerships.
  • Start building an infrastructure: I want to get the systems in place immediately.

My first instinct is to follow the genius myth. Except, after I think about it, I remember –

When I:

  • Write all at once: it discourages me because I don’t know where the story goes.
  • Go for Partnerships early: I don’t know what I truly offer or better yet – even need).
  • Build out all the systems: most systems go unused, and I have to replace them.

The first thing I do as soon as I remember those memories is starting an outline.

An outline is a forcing function that makes me start to consider what I need. It deals with those problems I listed above.

When I outline:

  • I know where the writing is going, so I save time.
  • I see what I need from each partner, and if it is worth talking to that person.
  • See the systems and how they play with each other. 

Even if you are in a situation that leaves you with little time, outline. It helps you manage that time more efficiently, no matter the situation.

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Good Morning, Today!

A New Opportunity!

Every day presents an opportunity to try two things:

  • Do your best work
  • Try again

Finding where those two ideas intersect is where you find consistent growth.

It’s worth the time to know if you are skewing one way or the other. Leaning too heavy on one (perfectionism) or the other (no skin in the game) can create meaningless work.

 

 

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Let’s Do This Thing Again

Make the first move

How many times has this happened after a great conversation:

“That was a great discussion. Feel good about what we talked about. We should do something sometime.”

You go home, think about how good of a conversation you had, and then go about doing whatever you usually do.

The moment passes and you don’t talk for 6 months.

The best intentions fall apart without confirmation. People get confused and our egos generally get the best of us ( “No one wants to hear from me” / “I don’t want to bother”  syndrome). No one benefits.

If the conversation went well, a simple, “let’s get this in the calendar” move (firing a follow-up email or verbalizing it) ensures the next step.

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Failure – Feedback, Fear, or False

Failure isn’t a choice.

Any time you decide something, whether it’s inside or outside your comfort zone, circle of competence, or philosophy there is a chance to choose failure. Make enough decisions and it’s a certainty. There is no getting out of it either. No one stays undefeated.

What is a choice is how you frame it.

  • Failure as feedback – If failure is feedback then you understand the failure as a growth point. The world has told you something and it’s time to go back into the shed, figure out the lessons, and ship something else. It doesn’t affect the who, just the how.
  • Failure as fear – If failure is fear then you understand failure as a personal hit. The world has told you something about you, and it’s time to go back into the shed and work on yourself until it makes sense.  It doesn’t affect the how, just the who.
  • Failure as “false”– If failure is false then you understand failure  as never existing. The world has told you something and you aren’t listening. It doesn’t affect anything.

The best default is the first. But there are times where the other two have use.

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Getting In Before Closing

The store isn’t closed until the store closes. That means, the doors are open to go shop.

Yes, you still can shop, even if it’s a few minutes before the store is closed.

The inventory inside still has value. The cashier might want to leave, but she’ll stay.

You don’t do anyone in the situation any favor by holding off. So if you need something, go ahead and buy.

It’s still good.

 

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Cursing As A Mantra – Getting Through The Lizard Brain and Resistance

I spent 3 hours cursing  and hitting the send button

I didn’t want to do it but I had to. It was January 3rd, and I felt scared. I came up with this proposal to email everyone I talked to over the last year a personal end of the year email. After doing it with the people I correspond with often, I got to the people who I emailed only once or twice.  So, I had to do something to get through it, so I just started cursing.

I think this is an opportune time to talk about resistance and the lizard brain, and why I turned cursing into a mantra to get stuff done.

Resistance and lizard brain, 2 of a kind

  • The “Resistance” – The “resistance“, developed by  Steven Pressfield, is a highway from fear to a state of avoiding work. The “resistance” is the mental gymnastics that we do to avoid hard emotional work.  It takes many forms, but excuses are its forte.  The most dangerous part of the resistance is its initial subtlety. We slip into it at a moments notice, and soon find that we ran through whatever time we had.

It’s late in the day, we are sitting at our desks, paralyzed with fear. It is nearing 3:30 — and you are currently fighting a war with yourself on moving forward with your work — the big picture stuff, the year-end goal, the thing that makes your eyes light up when you are in that state of flow.

A ping comes from your left and an email arrives – it becomes your salvation, because now you have “something to do” — and something that looks very busy, so the people around you know you are working.

While this is happening, you still can’t get rid of that sinking feeling you have, but, if only for a moment, it gets covered in the malaise of busy work.

Resistance has won — for another day.

  • The “Lizard Brain” – Popularized to me by Seth Godin, this is the concept of fight or flight.  We run to it the minute there is discomfort, because it instantly shifts the situation into something we know. Sometimes, there is nothing more comforting then blowing something up or ghosting. The most dangerous part of the lizard brain is its absolutism. We remove context and just jump into “action.”

Unfortunately, due to evolution, it is the strongest part of the brain. It makes sense – for most of our history, fight or flight meant everything.

If you are sitting in a meeting and you feel that uncomfortable “bleh” feeling,  Twitter is just one click away. (FYI: People with the business iPhone or Blackberry – email is the same escape)…Scariest part, it doesn’t get to make any decision of nuance, it has comfortable or this is it.

Why is this important to you writing emails?

Both act as alarms when I push through my anxiety. The emails that I wrote were end of the year emails, and what made me so anxious is that I had to fight through this idea that no one wanted to hear from me.  That factored in the resistance because we live in a world where distraction is simple. On my home PC there are computer games and on my phone there is Twitter and Facebook (my track record on getting lost with Facebook Video is embarrassing). The Lizard Brain worked its way in before i hit the send button, giving me the feeling to run away, and to push through I just started cursing.

It was my version of a mantra. “Send the ***** email.” It blocked it off long enough to get through to the world.

Sometimes you do what you have to do, no one said persistence is pretty. 

This post is a part of a series of posts based on my thoughts on “persistence.” This theme runs through March 2016 to merge my thinking. If you have any ideas or comments, please reach out to me on twitter @TheHonorableAT. 

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Follow-up Questions – Intriguing, Cynical, Fearful :-)

I love asking follow-up questions.

Part of me gets intrigued when someone goes deeper.

Another more cynical part of me hopes the person can’t answer.

Another part of me gets scared that I pushed them too far.

I think all three parts create the balance in conversation, and more specifically, in follow-up questions.

What is the intriguing part?

Asking questions is a skill, one that takes time to develop. Each time I get the opportunity to ask a follow-up question, I get a chance to work on it. It’s a small window that lets me test how I ask questions.  It is usually successful, because people love to talk about themselves.

There is also a chance that the conversation takes a turn I didn’t expect. I love these moments, because they increase my knowledge base and add some fun to any conversation. Those unforeseen turns make dinner conversation exciting.

What is the cynical part?

I’ve learned that follow-up questions lead to interesting answers. In some cases, they lead to no answer at all. My inner cynic is waiting for that moment, to confirm his main thought, that “no one knows anything.”

There is a purpose for this, though: The most deft in conversation use that inner cynic to know when to move on, and not to press. If I don’t let it go, it presses me towards the third part of this post.

What is the fear part?

Fear is everywhere. I have a ton of fear in conversations, but when it concerns follow-up questions, sometimes I hold back because I don’t want to go too far. When someone loves what they talk about, they love nothing more than a follow-up question. However, if someone doesn’t know, is posturing, or is having a slow night then there is nothing more terrifying than the follow-up question.

The cynic pushes me here sometimes, and I often regret it. Nobody wins, so watch the ego.

Follow-up questions need to exist.

Even with the fear of exposing yourself, conversation gets better, generally, with follow-up questions. They give you a chance to get to know the people around you, continue conversations, and dance with some internal daemons*. When it comes to conversation and building relationships, do more, not less.

 

*Not demons 😉

 

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Failures Lead To Different Opportunities

Learning things can hurt – failures happen.

There is a cost for getting involved with making things. You will fail. It will hurt. There is no avoiding it. No matter how much you try to soften the blow, one is going to come.

The great thing is, if you whether it, you become that much better at creating. But there lies the tough part, failure hurts, and sometimes our ego can’t take it. It is a lot easier to sit on the sidelines and protect ourselves.  It goes double if it happens early, when you don’t have success. It is easy to wonder if any of it is even worth the hassle.

So, if you are facing some sort of hurt, and you are wondering if it is worth it to keep going, I am going to let you in on a secret. My content creation journey all started in a failure. And I don’t write without thinking about it.

 

My first failure

I started writing for someone other than myself in 2007, when I got the opportunity to write at Allhiphop.com as a junior writer. I was fresh eyed and bushy-tailed. This was clear because during my first assignment, when instead of writing one review, I ended up writing three.  I was happy just existing there.

So, when I got a few things published, I wanted to spread my wings. I got an opportunity to do so with a young fledgling video game magazine. I thought it was a perfect opportunity, matching my love of gaming with my increased writing skill.

It ended up being one of my first public failures.

Things aren’t what they seem

When I arrived, or as much as you can do at an online magazine, I couldn’t wait to get started. Soon, after pitching a few stories, they made an offer to become a partner. I couldn’t imagine my fortune, but what I didn’t see was that I walked into a mess. Instead of a stable format, things kept changing. The editorial kept switching. There was no vision.

I started to try to just write.

That wasn’t good enough. With my elevated status, they weren’t looking for a partner, they were looking for someone to add responsibility with no power to effect change. Instead of growing together, they wanted a glorified gopher. I don’t just add ideas, as a partner, I wanted to add direction. This created friction with the other two partners.

Before you get involved with anything, make sure you check the framework. When you get your car back from someone else, it is best to kick the tires.

This turns into a long story but…

The end of it is me being ousted from the partnership with nothing. I wasted time and energy. It wasn’t pretty either. My confidence was dashed. Luckily, I still had Allhiphop. I got better there, and ended up climbing to a senior writer.

Also, I learned enough to start The Gamer Studio – which I led to getting sold in 2013. I couldn’t have gotten there with my first gaming magazine experience. And that is the point. Even when failure gets you down, understand that in each failure lies the experience that will push you forward.

 

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Questions Lead To Something…

This month was a rollercoaster

From quitting my job to learning how life is without an alarm clock, January 2016 had surprises that I didn’t account for. So, the theme of Questions this month was an apt one. I spent most of my time this month learning things all over again, and there were a ton of questions that I got to ask.

As I wrote in the intro to this month, questions are a great bridge to improve communication and context. This month proved it. I asked a lot of questions, and received some serious answers. Some answered, some are lingering, but all in all, I am much better for the experience.

Wins This Month

  • Calendaring – Last year, I constantly missed when I tried this habit. This month, it all clicked, if for no other reason I knew I couldn’t do anything if I didn’t calendar it.With no schedule (from no work) I needed something to anchor me. Book Support:  Deep Work from Cal Newport.
  • Experimentation – I tried a bunch of things. Learns a lot. Having the courage to try things opens so many doors. This might end up as a monthly theme in the future. Book Support: Do Over – Jon Acuff
  • Vulnerability – I was particularly happy about my ability to keep myself open with my newsletter. I talked about my fears, how uncoordinated I was, and ultimately how things aren’t going perfectly. (If you want to join the newsletter click here)

Losses

  • Note Taking – I didn’t get a chance to do any note taking this month.  I always see Marc Andreessen doing it during conversations, and it seems like a good tool.
  • Reading  – I slowed down on my reading this month. Both my reread and my new reading list.

Books

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