Tag: wrong

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Wrong.

I’ve been wrong before

Unless life ends today, I’ll be wrong again.

I’ve said things before I don’t agree with now. Same with writing, facilitating and recording.

Hell, some of the things make me cringe. We’ve all had it, I think, that cringy thought that crosses our mind and makes us shiver in the elevator.

It’s human. We make mistakes.

I listened to a creative once say that this was a sign of progress. I agree.

I imagine, if I’m lucky, I’ll learn that stuff I do now is off the mark and I’ll find a better way.

There are a few things that drag me away from growth. Two that come to mind this morning are:

  • The inability to say I have been wrong – I see this playing out with Joy Reid, who claims that the Wayback Machine is manipulating her posts. This claim is offensive to me and, in my opinion, using the current “hack crazy” climate to get out of her responsibility to own up to the things she said before.
  • Being scared to say “I don’t know” in the future – I’ve been guilty of this, and I recognize it as a behavior of a person unsure if he belongs. What I have internalized recently is that this need to be right blocks growth for the sake of comfort. Nodding my head in a meeting instead of raising is a selfish act.
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You Can Be Wrong

In fact, I am sure you are.

Right now, as you read this, I am sure something that you may be wrong about popped into your head.

If not, give it time.

Take a second, think about the last time you’ve been wrong.

When you do, write down who corrected you.

Afterwards, take a moment to send that person a thank you note.

One of the most significant gifts we receive, especially as creatives, is someone taking a moment to help you course correct.

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Being Wrong Hurts

Don’t run from the hurt

There is a stinging sensation that happens to me when I’m wrong

I get the stinging at the back of my head, and it makes my face twist.

I’ve recognized that as my ego doing a mad dash to my nervous system, trying to figure out a way to get out of “wrong.”

Maybe I could talk over, or bring up something from the past where they were wrong? Perhaps I can use my rank to quiet them down or get passive aggressive.

There are a million ways my ego can figure out to “win.”

Except there is no winning.

The right thing to do is to breathe. Take in that information and recognize that it isn’t about winning or losing; it’s about growth.

Breathe, and recognize my ego flaring up, get curious about why I am resisting and prepare to close the gaps in my knowledge.

Then, it’s back to work.

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Admitting Being Wrong

It is hard to admit you are wrong. I have to focus when I do it. It is too easy to get defensive and turn the energy into finding an excuse. Those excuses can range from “They didn’t give me what I need” or “I was sick” or “someone else lied.”It is a free pass to stay as I am. To think that I am always right.

It is easy to probe deeper into the emotions of the other person.It is easy to create story time. Which one of the issues that happened before this event ties itself to criticism that is coming my way? “You didn’t like that I didn’t offer you coffee – surely this is a way to get back.”  A few of these incidents over any span of time gives your brain the ample ammunition to create a narrative that stops criticism.

It is true that these things can both be true. The excuse could be valid. The person on the other side could have a major issue with you. They could be using this to grandstand politically. The other person may have lied through their teeth, after you called them day after day. You are on the firing line, sorry.

But it remains – you were wrong. Accept it. Take it as an opportunity to grow, move forward.  Look from the other persons view and take some time to understand them. Even if it is a lost cause, the skills that you are building in that moment ,.taking responsibility, empathy, and mindfulness, will last a lifetime.  Even in the worst case, those skills that I just mentioned will grow.

This is difficult. It is easy to succumb to your ego. “What about them? How come they get to act that way and I don’t?” Sure. They got to act out and get their way. But your life is yours, and the life they lead is up to them. You can either take things as a chance for growth or not. Growth is hard.

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Putting Yourself Out

You aren’t trying to do enough right in the world if no one is saying you are wrong.

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I could be Wrong!

I am wrong.

There – I typed it. Perhaps it is the first step to admitting that I can be wrong sometimes. I never take the time to admit my wrongdoing – out of fear – fear that there is an eternal scoreboard people have that measures my rights from my wrongs.

As I type that, I realize just how ridiculous that sounds.

At the end of the day, people appreciate those who learn, and those who learn the best see where they went wrong, slow down, and make the fix as they mark it as a lesson learned.

I am trying to get there – but as I am routinely told, self awareness is the first step.

Unless they were wrong 🙂

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